AITA for refusing to share a table in a crowded coffee shop with another patron because she smelled bad?

A Redditor describes a tense encounter at a crowded coffee shop where a stranger, who smelled strongly of weed, asked to share her table. Despite her dislike of the smell and the impact it had on her ability to concentrate, the stranger pressed to sit down, leading to a confrontation and the involvement of an employee.

Though the poster felt justified in her response, her friends later debated whether she was rude for commenting on the person’s smell and refusing to share. Was she out of line? Read the full story below and weigh in.

‘ AITA for refusing to share a table in a crowded coffee shop with another patron because she smelled bad?’

I 22F was studying at a popular coffee shop in my town yesterday afternoon. It was crowded, but I was lucky enough to get a 2 person table with an outlet. I stayed there for maybe three hours and ordered multiple items throughout my stay.

About an hour into my stay, a girl about my age who reeked of weed asked if she could share my table so she could study as well. I looked around and every other chair was occupied and there were even people standing beside the tables. I absolutely despise the smell of weed. It’s legal in my state so there’s no issues there, but it makes me nauseous and gives me a headache, so I knew there was no way I would get anything done with that girl across from me. Without mentioning her smell, I told her no and that I needed my personal space.

Instead of walking away, she pressed and said that if I wanted my personal space I shouldn’t study in the most popular coffee shop in town. I then told her that I specifically didn’t want her at my table because she smelled like a marijuana farm and she should take a shower before she tries to infringe on strangers’ personal space.

I thought she would go away after that, but she told me she was sitting at my table whether I liked it or not. She put her things down, maybe thinking I would leave. Instead, I flagged down an employee and explained the situation. She sided with me and asked the girl to leave, threatening to call security if she didn’t do so.

I resumed my work but felt a bit shaken by the situation. Later that evening, I recalled what happened to some of my friends. I thought that they would all agree that she was being an AH, but to my surprise, a couple of my friends told me I was the unreasonable one.

One of them is familiar with the coffee shop and told me that it was rude of me to h** a table (even though I bought two drinks and a pastry throughout my stay), and that if I really had a problem with someone smelling bad, I should have just left.

Another one of my friends said that my comment about how that person smelled was out of line, and even if someone is being rude I shouldn’t talk like that to a stranger. This sparked a huge debate until I agreed to post on this sub to settle this once and for all. So, am I TA in this situation?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

anbaric26 −  NTA, you were at the table first. And it was a small 2-person table, it’s not like you were sitting by yourself at a big (4+ person) table and not letting anyone else sit there. When my husband and I sit together at a 2-person table at a cafe there’s barely room for both of us plus our laptops, I can’t imagine letting a stranger sit that up close and personal next to me, especially if they smelled bad.

You could have offered her the chair, she could take it and sit somewhere else. But IMO you politely declined and then she was the one who pushed it, THEN you mentioned her smell. She deserved it at that point when she wouldn’t accept no for an answer.

Far_Cycle_3432 −  I like weed and wouldn’t want that person at my table. And sitting solo at a table is fine. Your 2 friends sound like doormats. It wasn’t even remotely rude. You had a boundary and enforced it.

JunkDrawerPencil −  2 drinks and a pastry isn’t actually much for a 2 seater table for 3 hours when others are standing in the coffee shop due to a lack of seats, and using an outlet too. Soft YTA here. Unfortunately other paying customers in the places like coffee shops can have strong smells, and there’s not much that really be done about it. Drink up your coffee and go find somewhere else to study.

Personal_Koala2578 −  YTA. If you need your space for 3 hours, stay home or go to a library. Coffee shops are there to make money. Two drinks and a pastry is nothing compared to what they could’ve sold in 3 hours.
You should’ve seen how busy the shop was and limited your selfish stay. The girl may have smelled like weed, others smell like perfume, or sweat, or lotion, etc. Regardless, there was an empty chair and she should’ve taken it.

Winter_Simple8526 −  ESH. She should not expect to sit there but 2 drinks and a pastry really do not justify 3 hrs in a busy coffee shop. Most people stay lets say half hr. So half hour in 3 hours would be 6 sets of people.

Even if only one person at the table with the average of lets say $16 per half hr you would have to spend approximately $96 to make what they would have made otherwise. If at any time 2 people sat there in that 3 hours it would be higher. So the coffee shop lost money with you sitting there for so long.

Phnerfable2004 −  NTA, you are allowed to have personal space, even while studying at a coffee shop, which, newsflash, is a common use for coffee shops. And the coffee shop worker sided with you so your friend’s opinion is irrelevant. If that girl doesn’t want people to comment on her smell she should A) use some freaking perfume and B) mind her own business and accept no for an answer.

Screw-4832 −  There’s a reason strains are given names like “Sour diesel” or “OG Skunk”.

_mmiggs_ −  NTA. Stinking of weed is a choice. It is completely antisocial to go out in public voluntarily stinking. The girl is the a**hole.

4th_chakra −  I looked around and every other chair was occupied and there were even people standing beside the tables. Instead of walking away, she pressed and said that if I wanted my personal space I shouldn’t study in the most popular coffee shop in town. It’s a public space, and those tables and seats aren’t yours. One of them is familiar with the coffee shop and told me that it was rude of me to h** a table.

It was, also considering you were there for 3 hours and other people were standing. Another one of my friends said that my comment about how that person smelled was out of line. Insulting her *was* over the line, especially since it was just over a seat at a coffee shop. And then you had her publicly humiliated. Because of a seat, at a coffee shop.

At the end of the day, it was a super busy and popular place, and you staked out your turf and didn’t want anyone sitting there. But it’s not your living room. So if there’s a free seat, and a paying customer who wants to use it, then you should be gracious.

For what it’s worth, I am very familiar with places like this. People accommodate others. I have never once seen someone aggressively insult someone when they’ve asked for a seat. I’m honestly surprised the staff member didn’t (nicely) put you in your place, that ALL the seats are for ALL the patrons.. YTA.

FeckinSheeps −  I then told her that I specifically didn’t want her at my table because she smelled like a marijuana farm and she should take a shower before she tries to infringe on strangers’ personal space. Come on dude… I can’t believe that somebody would say this, and if you did say this, YTA. That’s rude. There’s a million ways you could’ve handled this and you chose the worst one.