AITA for refusing to save tickets to my graduation for my stepmom and stepbrother?

OP is about to graduate high school and has been given 10 free tickets for family. OP’s father requested five tickets for his side of the family and five for the mother’s side. OP offered tickets to three members of their father’s side, but their father insisted on including OP’s stepmom and stepbrother, despite them not being on good terms.

OP’s stepmom has been separated from the father for months and is in the process of divorce. OP’s father called them selfish and threatened not to attend the graduation if the stepmom and stepbrother weren’t invited. OP has been repeatedly asked to apologize. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to save tickets to my graduation for my stepmom and stepbrother?’

I graduate high school in a few months, and was told that I’m allowed 10 free tickets for family. Other tickets are available for purchase. Recently, my father asked about tickets and I told him about the free ones. He claimed that he should get five and my mother’s side of the family should get five to make it fair.

I told him that under normal circumstances I would agree, however there are only three family members on his side that I’m offering tickets. The three are: my father, my grandma, and my grandpa. The rest are: my mother, sister, stepdad, brother-in-law, and three grandparents on that side.

He claimed this was unfair, and that I needed to un-invite my stepdad and brother-in-law in order to invite my stepmom and stepbrother. I said that if they would like to attend, I have no objections. But, my stepmom does not want to go and has been separated from my father for months.

For background context: she’s left us three times before. This time, she kicked my father and I out of the house instead. Also, she has started the divorce process. I now currently live with my mother as my primary caretaker. Back to the story though.

My father called me selfish, disrespectful, and said that my stepfather and brother-in-law were not even family. He also said that my graduation day is not about me, it’s about the people who raised me, so I had “no right” over who is invited. I disagreed and told him so.

He said that if I didn’t invite my stepmom and stepbrother, he would not be attending, nor would he allow my grandparents on his side to attend. He then called me a disappointment and dropped me off at my mother’s house. It’s been 5 hours and he’s now calling and texting non-stop saying I need to apologize to him. Am I the a-hole?

Check out how the community responded:

SeaworthinessDue8650 −  NTA Call your paternal grandparents ASAP and tell them the whole story. Ask them if they plan to boycott your graduation for the women who threw you and your father out of the house. If they have a spine, they’ll deal with him.

PurpleMarsAlien −  NTA Your graduation tickets are yours to distribute as you wish. Reach out to your grandparents separately from your father. You are about to become an adult if you aren’t already, and your relationships are yours to continue and maintain.

wombat74 −  He also said that my graduation day is not about me, it’s about the people who raised me. Your Dad is delusional, which you could probably tell from him trying to push for a woman who is divorcing him and kicked you both out of her home. NTA. Your Dad needs help. Contact your grandparents directly to invite them so your Dad can’t poison the well by lying about why he’s not going.

Upallnightreading −  NTA, it sounds like your dad wants to use your graduation as a reason to be in the same place as your stepmom.

Fatty_Bombur −  So your Dad said that your stepdad and stepbrother shouldn’t be invited as they aren’t even family. Neither is your step-mother and her son. Following your Dad’s flawed logic, they shouldn’t be invited either.

Ope_WhoopsieDaisy −  Your graduation is about you, and you get to decide who celebrates that day with you. Your dad is making it about himself, likely out of insecurity or control issues, and trying to dictate your choices. You’ve been more than fair by offering tickets to the people who actually support you. Definitely NTA.

MerelyWhelmed1 −  If it’s about who raised you, stepmom and stepbrother are not included. If dad thinks your stepdad and BIL are not family, then neither are stepmom and stepbrother. So far neither of his arguments would include the people your dad wants there.. NTA.

embopbopbopdoowop −  OP, I’m sorry. Your father is out of line. Not to mention hypocritical. Steps and in-laws on your mom’s side aren’t family, but steps who kicked you out of home on your dad’s side are? Mmmkay.

Tell him you’ll happily spare him the embarrassment of attending his disappointment’s graduation and withdraw his ticket. Call your paternal grandparents and offer them their tickets directly. Tell them exactly what your father said to and about you and why he’s not attending.. NTA. Congratulations on graduating, OP.

TheGoodJeans −  NTA. Your dad’s behavior is unacceptable, and it sounds like you’re better off without him there.

WhatTheActualFck1 −  NTA Your dad is an i**ot. He gets no say in who you prefer go. Call your grandparents and ask them if they really would not attend your graduation if you don’t invite the woman who is divorcing your dad, kicked you both out and wants nothing to do with you as your dad said?

I guarantee they will be there for you. He has no say on them choosing to attend.

Was OP wrong to refuse to save tickets for their stepmom and stepbrother considering the family dynamics and their father’s threats? Or is OP justified in having control over who attends their own graduation? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!