AITA for refusing to reconnect with my sister after she embarrassed me during one of the most vulnerable moments of my life?

A Reddit user has struggled with reconciling with her sister after a moment of extreme betrayal. Despite her sister’s apologies and attempts to reconnect, the emotional damage from the past event has made it difficult for her to move forward. Read on for the full story of this complex family dynamic.

‘ AITA for refusing to reconnect with my sister after she embarrassed me during one of the most vulnerable moments of my life?’

For context, my sister and I were always close growing up. We shared everything and had each other’s backs through thick and thin. But one event changed everything for me, and I can’t seem to move past it.

About two years ago, I was going through a rough time mentally and decided to open up to my sister, something I rarely do. I had been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while but never really told anyone because I felt like I had to stay strong for my family. But that day, I just couldn’t keep it in any longer and decided to tell her everything. I really needed someone to listen.

Instead of supporting me or keeping it private, she immediately called our friends, making it a joke. She told them everything I’d just shared, laughing about it as if it was some funny story. I found out a few days later when one of my friends awkwardly approached me, asking if I was okay.

I felt completely betrayed and humiliated. After that, I distanced myself from her and barely spoke to her again. Now, fast forward to last month—she reached out, saying she misses me and wants us to be close again.

She’s apologized a few times, saying she didn’t understand the depth of my struggle and didn’t mean to hurt me like that. But I just can’t seem to move on. Every time I think about reconnecting, I remember that moment, and it feels impossible to let go of the hurt.

My family thinks I’m being stubborn, and my friends are divided. Some say I should give her another chance since she’s shown genuine remorse. Others say my feelings are valid and that I should take my time. So, AITA for refusing to forgive my sister and move on?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

HarlotteHoehansson −  Even if you do forgive her and move on you will never trust her with anything again.

BeachinLife1 −  NTA. There’s no coming back from that. Tell your family and i**ot friends to go kick rocks. How do you know her remorse is genuine? How do they know? The answer is, she’s not to be trusted, so why should you believe anything from her, ever again?

Famous-Composer3112 −  NTA. She showed you her true colors. Never, ever unsee them. My sister is awful and I’ve gone no-contact, but she’s not as m**strous as yours.

HwyfarSun −  Do you feel that she showed genuine remorse? I think if you did you would have reconnected with her and moved on already. You don’t have to grant forgiveness just because someone said they were sorry. I’m with the others who say your feelings and valid and you should take your time.. NTA.

ObsidianConspiracyXx −  Forgive on your terms. If that day never comes, that’s your sister’s fault, not yours. Why should you be expected to rebuild the trust that you, yourself, never broken? Your family would happily sacrifice your peace for their collective harmony. Don’t let them. Either way, NTA.

Tigress92 −  What has she done besides saying sorry? Has she actually taken accountability for her actions, or has she gotten defensive or given fauxpologies?

Either way, she massively betrayed your trust, invalidated your feelings, and her actions have shown you how little she actually cared about you. I’m amazed you haven’t completely written her off, because it would be completely understandable if you did.

You don’t owe anybody forgiveness, and you are alowed to feel what you feel and take your time in moving any direction you want to go in. You are NTA for any of this, and your family needs to accept that.

For what it’s worth, I don’t see you being stubborn or holding on to grudges, I see someone that got hurt deeply, and no one is making the actual effort to console or comfort you in that, let alone show you they are safe for you to confide in and come to when in need. I’m sorry OP.

CriticalStreet6096 −  NTA. It’s nice if she’s genuinely remorseful(big IF there considering how you’ve described her treatment of you), but breaking your trust in such a profound and cruel way is something you’ll never forget, both in the betrayal of trust and for mocking and making fun you when in such a vulnerable state.

Truly, that’s behavior that’s immature at best, disgustingly a**sive at worst. It’s ultimately up to you whether or not to let her back into your life, but treating you the way she did says volumes about her as a person. Me personally, I’d never talk to her again outside of a public setting because that kind of trust can’t be re-earned once thrown away, but I’m a stubborn and spiteful person.

If you don’t want a relationship with her, put your foot down and don’t budge, your friends validating your decision are 100% right and are great friends to have. As for your family, if you get family members trying to get you to forgive your sister or try to force you to talk to them, be ready to distance them as well.

Be wary of the “family forgives”, and “we’re all family no matter what” arguments that may get thrown your way to try and get you to forgive her. Those ideals are toxic and only reinforce the toxic and a**sive people(s) who pushed away those they have wronged.

To summarize my advice: protect yourself and your boundaries, and don’t give ground. I also wouldn’t be alone with her in a situation where anything that happens between the two of you is a “you said/she said” situation.

If you can, have someone you trust with you if you decide to reopen that relationship. I’m wary as to why she’s trying to reconnect after so long and definitely would question her motives heavily. Best of luck to you though! Keep close to the friends that have your back, they are your greatest weapon in the arsenal of your emotional well being.

Contribution4afriend −  NTA and sometimes when someone does a horrible thing like that and lets it pass 2 years to reconnect it’s because she needs something from you: money, kidney, a couch to crash or even a room to live. Could be anything but not with the intention of reaching. She wants help. She will never help you. Never.1

Listen, now that she isn’t in your life in these past 2 years didn’t you notice something different? Like not caring for her anymore might have something to do with all that anxiety?

Even if not… I don’t know. I feel she only wants to be less of the bad girl but deep down is also gossip.. “Hey, what happened to your sis?”.. “I don’t know.”. “Did she go crazy?”. “Might have, we don’t talk anymore.” “Well let me know about any update. I am curious.”. “Sure, I might find out for you.”.

iknowsomethings2 −  You shouldn’t have to fix something you didn’t break. If you feel like she hasn’t done enough to fix it or for you to forgive her, then it is what it is. Just because someone apologises you don’t have to forgive them. You’ll never trust her again regardless.

Ok_Childhood_9774 −  NTA. When someone (even a sister) shows you who they are, believe them the first time. You can be civil with her for your parents’ sake, but I’d be wary sharing anything personal with her ever again.