AITA for refusing to pay half for a new gate?

A couple, building a house on newly purchased land, discovers their driveway is being used as a shortcut by neighborhood kids due to a gap in a shared fence. They offered to restore the original fence at no cost, but the neighbors, who created the gap, want to install a gate instead and expect the couple to split the $700 cost. The couple declined, arguing the gate only benefits the neighbors. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to pay half for a new gate?’

About one year ago my fiance and I purchased some land in a newly developed area. All of the houses are less than 10 years old. Our land is down a long driveway. The driveway is shared with another piece of land next to us. Both the previous owner of our land and the owner of the other empty property both intended to build houses but Covid happened and they ran out of money.

Unknown to us when we bought the land, they had both agreed to let all of the kids in the neighborhood use the land as a playground. They had also allowed the house between our property and the road to take down a section of the fence between their backyard and our driveway so they could get a trailer directly to their backyard.

The fence panels they removed still exist and are sitting in their backyard, leaning against the remainder of the fence. We started building a house immediately after purchase and are almost finished. We’re come to realize the gap in the fence is a major problem.

All of the neighborhood kids play together in their backyard (they have kids) and use the driveway as a shortcut to the empty section and friends houses. On multiple occasions we’ve had to slam on our breaks because a kid has run out of the gap, across our driveway. The driveway is a steep hill and it’s not easy to stop quickly, especially trucks arriving with building supplies etc.

The gap also looks very messy. It’s where they hide all of their rubbish etc they don’t want seen from the front of their house but it is the front of OUR house. Garden waste, dirt etc slides off their section and onto pur driveway.

We told them we want to put the fence back up and that we would happily be the ones to do it. My husband is a builder and repairing a fence is a relatively easy job for him. They replied that they agree because of the safety issue, which they claimed to be unaware of, but they intend to put a gate in so they can continue to get a trailer to their backyard.

Initially we were against this but they made a good argument for themselves, promised to only use it a few times a year with advance permission and to always tidy up any mess. We reluctantly agreed. Fast forward a few weeks and we get a message saying they have a quote for getting a gate installed. $700 and they expect us to pay half because it’s a shared fence.

We were shocked. We replied no and explained the gate is only benefiting them and that we should not have to pay for them to use our driveway. They replied that was an abrupt response and that we had told them we would happily help with the fence. I replied yes, with a fence, not a gate, and by help we meant my husband put back the original fence at no cost to anyone not fund a gate that only benefits them.. So AITA?. 

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Chilling_Storm −  Get your land surveyed, send out certified mail to all parties that the children are NOT to play in your yard, neighbors can not use your property to access their back yard. If anyone gets hurt on your property you will be liable. Fences make great neighbors, and you need to protect yourself and your property.

chuckinhoutex −  NTA- the counter is- we do not need a gate to access your property. We will happily rebuild the fence as it was at our own expense/effort. We also happily consent to allowing you to put in the gate that YOU need at YOUR expense.

VicarsandTarts −  NTA. But this is a slippery slope. You don’t HAVE to continue letting them use your property. Put up the fence and tell them to find another way. You are doing them a favour and they are being entitled about it! You don’t need the headaches that will come from this in the future.

Smooth_Security4607 −  Who’s land is the fence actually on? If it’s your land, put the fence panels back and forget it. If it’s on their land, they can pay for their own gate. In any case, people using your land without permission, could cause problems in the long run, like they might try to gain permanent rights.

Ravenlora −  NTA and I’d rescind the agreement to let them use your driveway if you still can. These are the kind of neighbors I’d minimize contact with and then fix the fence.

Mister_Sensual −  NTA. They sound pretty entitled. Probably best to just put up the fence and tell them to stay off your property.

friendlily −  NTA but almost an AH to yourselves. Are there adverse possessor laws in your country? If you’re unsure, you should look into that. I don’t think you should have agreed to a gate in the first place. Your property is yours and yours alone and I don’t see them actually asking and waiting for permission each time they need to use it.

Also, they’re going to get annoyed each time you try to say no. This just seems like it will become a mess. And what happens if they sell? Lastly, they have a lot of nerve asking for you to pay half. They’re showing you who they are – believe them.

PDK112 −  NTA. I would immediately move the fence panels to your side of the fence. I would then notify them that you will out them back up and repair the fence by a specified date such as 30 days or Jan 1st. This is for them to have time to remove any items from their backyard that they don’t want trapped back there. I would also send a letter with the same information in writing. Then do it. No more negotiations.

WhereWeretheAdults −  NTA. They took down a shared fence without your approval. Request they restore it to the original condition on their dime. If it’s their fence, they can pay for their own gate.

SoundOfUnder −  NTA you kust want the fence back,they want a gate. They should pay for the gate. Especially since the gate would only exist to have them use YOUR property

Do you think the couple is being fair in refusing to pay for the gate? Should the neighbors take full responsibility for a gate they want and need? Share your thoughts below!