AITA for refusing to pay back my cousin after my baby ruined her blouse?

A Redditor shares a dilemma about refusing to reimburse their cousin after their newborn baby, Charlotte, vomited on her expensive blouse during a family gathering. The cousin, who has high-end taste in fashion, demanded reimbursement for the ruined blouse, but the Redditor feels it was an inevitable risk given the presence of a baby. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to pay back my cousin after my baby ruined her blouse?’

I gave birth four weeks ago, and we decided to have a ”baby ceremony”, where everyone gets to meet our lovely daughter Charlotte. My cousin Alice and her parents were among the guests. The first thing I’ll say about her is that she has expensive taste. She’s the sort of person who has a *minimum* price range for how much she spends on clothing.

She doesn’t own anything that isn’t designer and has some items of clothing that cost thousands. She is a banker and still lives with parents so can afford the lifestyle. It was Alice’s turn to hold the baby and she was happy to at first, but suddenly Charlotte vomited on her.

Alice handed Charlotte back to me and ran off crying, and spent the rest of the event crying in the car. I went to see her to apologise but she didn’t want to hear any of it. My mum gave her one of her shirts which was too big for her and she felt completely upset and humiliated.

Today I got a call from my mum, saying that she’d been on the phone to her sister (Alice’s mum) saying that they want me to reimburse the cost of the blouse (roughly £1800) since it was completely ruined.

I have said no. At the end of the day we all know what babies can be like. She took a risk wearing something so expensive knowing a baby was nearby and unfortunately it backfired. I feel bad for her but it was not my fault. Am I doing the right thing by refusing to pay up?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

slytherin2019 −  NTA. Common sense to not wear expensive clothing around newborns unless you are okay with risking this happening. She should have known better.

[Reddit User] −  NTA She is demanding 1800 from a woman who just had a baby?? At best you should pay for dry cleaning!

JJSec −  NTA. wearing expensive designer s**t around what is potentially a living vomit machine is one of the stupidest things you can think of to do. counter them with “I’ll happily pay for the dry cleaning on the shirt as a matter of responsibility but nothing more as £1800 on a shirt is something that we can’t afford to spend at all and alice should have known that when she attended wearing that”

cubiczarcarbia −  NTA – not only is Alice an a**hole, but an i**ot for wearing expensive clothing around a month old baby. What the f**k does she think babies that old do? They cry, eat, sleep, s**t, and throw up. It’s completely on her, and if she doesn’t like it, well tough titty said the kitty.

[Reddit User] −  INFO. Had Alice actually spent any time around babies before? INFO. Why so negative about the fact that she has expensive taste?

CrazyLadybug −  ESH. You sound incredibly judgemental towards your cousin and what she spends her money on. Seems like she has worked hard for the things she has and probably in her career appearance matters. Also someone who hasn’t been around children wouldn’t know how much babies puke.

You should have warned her about what could happen. In the end if your child ruins something it’s up to you to pay for it even if it’s not directly your fault. For instance if your baby puked in an Uber you would still be expected to pay for it. She’s an a**hole about the way she reacted but if my shirt was ruined I would also be upset.

Edit: A lot of people are replying that it’s common knowledge that babies puke. And while that might be true many people who haven’t interacted with them might not expect them to puke ALL the time.

I’m an only child and while I’ve had baby cousins I don’t remember them puking on anyone. I always thought that babies puked right after feeding or if their tummy is upset. But now thanks to reddit I know better and will avoid holding babies.

Livvylove −  ESH your kid did ruin her property and it didn’t seem like you made any effort to make it right at the time but who wears something that expensive around an unpredictable baby. You should have offered to pay to get it cleaned when it happened and apologized. You acted like you didn’t care at all when you know her clothing means a lot to her.

moburkes −  ESH. I don’t think it’s fair to say cousin is the a**hole because she likes nice things. I don’t think it’s fair to say she needs to dress differently to visit a new parent. I think both of those statements actually make you an a**hole. It wasn’t like you asked her to babysit and she wore expensive clothing.

According to your description, that’s how she dresses. Everyone else showed up and didn’t get vomited on, so why would she expect to? Prior to this she was not asking you to fund her clothing choices, so what she wears and hoe much they cost should not affect you. Your child will do more than vomit on people.

They will tear up things, break things, etc. As the responsible parent you may end up paying costs you didn’t anticipate paying. This is one of those times, in my opinion. Being a new parent or old parent doesn’t excuse you from doing the right thing. Maybe the blouse can be dry cleaned or somehow otherwise repaired.

If not, in my opinion, you should put money towards a replacement. Next time, maybe offer a diaper or blanket to put over themselves in case someone wants to hold the baby to mitigate this. And, I get it. When I was a new parent, I didn’t know what to expect.

Things happened I wasn’t prepared for. I had to learn quickly to be prepared after being caught unawares. S**t happens. Vomit happens. But the right thing to do is to fix the situation. The cousin sucks because instead of coming to you, her and her parent reached out to yours. That’s not adult behavior.

illini02 −  YTA, slightly. I get what you are saying, but how far do you take this. If your child breaks someone’s property, do you say “well, we know what kids are like”. I don’t know this person, but maybe you should’ve given her a spit up rag or something to cover herself with

andwhiskersonkittens −  INFO – Are you willing to offer to pay for it to be dry cleaned?

Is it fair for the Redditor to refuse reimbursement, or should they have stepped up to cover the cost given the expensive nature of the blouse? Share your thoughts below!