AITA for refusing to move my daughter’s room for my fiancée’s home office?

A Reddit user finds himself in a tense situation after refusing his fiancée’s request to move his 10-year-old daughter to a smaller bedroom to make space for a home office.

With his daughter’s comfort and stability in mind, he’s caught between his fiancée’s work needs and his daughter’s well-being. Read the full story below for more context.

‘ AITA for refusing to move my daughter’s room for my fiancée’s home office? ‘

I (32M) have been with my fiancée (30F) for five years, and we’re planning our wedding for next spring. I have a 10-year-old daughter, Lily, from a previous relationship. Lily’s mother passed away when she was a baby, so it’s been just the two of us for most of her life.

My fiancée, Emma, has always had a cordial relationship with Lily, but they’ve never been particularly close. Recently, Emma suggested that Lily should move into the smaller bedroom to make space for a home office, as Emma works from home. Lily’s current room is the second-largest in the house, and she loves it.

I told Emma that I didn’t want to uproot Lily from her room, especially since she’s already been through a lot. Emma was upset and accused me of prioritizing Lily over her needs. She argued that as my future wife, her comfort should be equally important.

I suggested converting part of the living room into a workspace, but Emma insists that having a dedicated office is essential for her productivity. Now, there’s tension between us, and Emma feels that I’m not considering her needs in our shared home. I want to support Emma’s work, but I also want to ensure Lily feels secure and valued..

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Bobd1964 −  NTA. Your daughter would always be your first priority. A home office should be able to fit in the smallest room or some other space, but Lily deserves to keep her own room.

VII_187 −  NTA. Your wife can take the smaller room for her office, she doesn’t need the bigger one.

Hachiko75 −  So basically you’re engaged to the soon to be wicked stepmother. I feel sorry for your kid.

grayblue_grrl −  Your fiancé is pissing on her territory and marking it all as HERS as well as making herself your priority, instead of your daughter. A SMART MAN would cancel everything and get her out of their house ASAP. She is never going to be a good step parent.. NTA

Disastrous-Sthe −  As someone who hates her step mom and my “father” for not protecting me. Don’t marry this woman. Her mask is already slipping off by trying to see how much you are willing to push your daughter aside for her.

It will only get worse. I wonder how’s she’s like when you aren’t around, and god forbid you have kids, she will treat your daughter worse.

shammy_dammy −  Don’t marry. And don’t move her in.

AdLive6745 −  🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 she’s trying to push your daughter to the side.

RevolutionaryCow7961 −  NTA. This is your fiancée. I feel she is showing her true colors. Your daughter’s comfort and happiness is not near the top of her list. She wants your daughter’s needs/wants to be at the bottom of your list.

I would seriously talk to your child about how she feels and is treated by your fiancée. If you are planning additional children I can see fiancée putting your child at the bottom. She doesn’t want to compromise. Maybe I’m cynical but this screams me me me.

BigMaMa2486 −  NTA – As soon as she made the accusation that you’re “prioritizing your child over her” she should have been out the door with one less ring.

GroovyYaYa −  You are marrying someone who is only “cordial” with your 10 year old? Cordial works with cousins you see once or twice a year.

Might even work if your daughter was an adult who lives in her own home and a distance where you only see her a couple of times a year yourself (but fair warning – she won’t become closer to your fiance, she’ll only become “cordial” with you)

You want a young girl who has only ever lived with you to give up her bedroom so that her selfish as f father’s girlfriend can establish dominance (because that is what she is doing – she’s testing you and proving to your daughter that she’s the head b**ch in charge.)

Moving her to a smaller room when she’s about to be a pubescent girl who craves her own space (esp. with a “cordial” step mother who is already being a pick me with her oblivious father) – what, there isn’t a boarding school option?

A basement? a n**ty cupboard under the stairs filled with spiders? Or is she saving those for when you have “real” children together? Your poor daughter. I hope she has some other people in her life that will be safe spaces for her, like her mother’s parents, or yours who aren’t afraid to say something.

Do you think the father is right to prioritize his daughter’s stability, or should he compromise to accommodate his fiancée’s need for a home office? How would you balance the needs of a child and a partner in a shared living space? Share your thoughts below!