AITA for refusing to make my wife dinner since she will not make me breakfast?

Christmas mornings, workdays, and even ordinary days can sometimes reveal deeper issues in a relationship. In this story, a 31-year-old husband shares his frustration over a seemingly simple household agreement that has spiraled into conflict. He and his wife have two kids in daycare, and they’ve agreed that she makes breakfast while he makes dinner. However, for the past month, she has repeatedly failed to prepare breakfast for him—or even notify him when it’s ready.

This recurring oversight has left him feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed, as he juggles work from home and his evening routine with the kids. After numerous discussions and arguments about the inconsiderate timing, the tension finally reached its peak yesterday when, fed up, he refused to make dinner for her, insisting she make her own. Now, he’s left questioning if his reaction makes him the asshole.

‘ AITA for refusing to make my wife dinner since she will not make me breakfast?’

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “When longstanding household agreements are broken repeatedly, it can lead to significant emotional strain. In relationships where responsibilities are clearly divided, consistent failure to adhere to those roles can create feelings of neglect and resentment. It’s natural for one partner to feel hurt when the other seems to take their efforts for granted.”

She continues, “The key here is clear communication. If one partner fails to fulfill their agreed-upon role, it is reasonable to expect a discussion about adjustments or compromises. However, when the response is to withhold support in return, it can escalate conflicts and lead to further breakdowns in communication.”

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman adds, “It’s important for couples to maintain mutual respect by honoring each other’s contributions. While the husband’s decision to stop making dinner may appear punitive, it reflects a need for accountability and balance in daily responsibilities.

Couples counseling might help in situations like these, where both parties feel their needs are being ignored.” Both experts agree that while the husband’s reaction may be emotionally charged, his desire for fairness and mutual support in their domestic routine is entirely valid.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Several redditors expressed strong support for his decision. One user commented, “If you’re doing your part and she’s not, you have every right to be upset. You’re not the asshole for expecting consistency in a shared routine.”

Another group shared personal experiences, with one commenter stating, “I’ve been in relationships where one partner’s lack of follow-through on agreed responsibilities led to a buildup of resentment. Your reaction is understandable and a call for better communication.”

Ultimately, your decision to refuse to make dinner because your wife isn’t making breakfast is a stand for fairness in your household routine. While it might seem harsh, it reflects the frustration of repeatedly unfulfilled promises that affect both your well-being and daily family life. This situation raises an important question: How do you balance personal responsibilities with the need for mutual support in a marriage?

What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation where a simple daily duty becomes a source of conflict? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate the delicate balance between fairness and love in domestic life.