AITA for Refusing to Make My Friend’s Wedding Dress While Pregnant?
When creative passions and personal boundaries collide, even the most heartfelt traditions can lead to unexpected conflict. In this case, a 38-year-old dressmaker—known among her friends for crafting custom wedding dresses as a wedding gift—found herself in a tough spot when her friend announced her upcoming wedding.
Always a generous spirit, she had happily made dresses for two other friends. But now, at 26 weeks pregnant and easing her workload ahead of maternity leave, she discovered that her friend’s wedding was scheduled for January 19, 2025—only five months away.
This sudden timeline meant she simply couldn’t commit to creating a custom dress in time, and her blunt refusal left her friend feeling hurt and accused her of playing favorites. Now, tensions are high as she stands by her decision, questioning whether she’s being unreasonable for prioritizing her health and professional responsibilities over a promise made under different circumstances.
‘AITA for telling my friend I can’t make her wedding dress despite making them for two other friends?’
According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, establishing and respecting personal boundaries is crucial, especially when personal circumstances change. He explains, “When life’s priorities shift—like the demands of pregnancy and impending maternity leave—it’s important to reassess commitments. Boundaries that once made sense can become unsustainable when personal well-being is at stake.
In this situation, the dressmaker’s longstanding tradition of making custom wedding dresses for friends was built on her full availability and creative energy. However, her current pregnancy and workload adjustments represent a significant shift in her life circumstances.
Dr. Gottman emphasizes that effective communication is key: “It’s essential to convey your limitations honestly and kindly, even if it means disappointing others. When expectations are not aligned, conflicts can arise that reflect deeper issues of respect and reciprocity.” In the case at hand, the dressmaker’s friend, expecting the same level of commitment as in previous years, was caught off guard by the sudden change.
The dressmaker’s response—telling her friend that she cannot handle the project under these new conditions—was an attempt to protect her health and maintain the quality of her work. Experts in small business management also highlight that delegating tasks or rescheduling major projects is a smart strategy to ensure sustained success.
By refusing to compromise on her professional and personal boundaries, the dressmaker is not only safeguarding her creative standards but also modeling a healthy work-life balance.
While it’s understandable that her friend might feel hurt by the reversal, the reality is that commitments made under one set of circumstances shouldn’t bind you when your situation evolves. Dr. Gottman’s insights remind us that honesty and clear expectations are the foundation of any successful relationship, whether personal or professional.
See what others had to share with OP:
Many redditors sympathized with the dressmaker, noting that if she had clearly communicated her limitations from the start, her friend should have understood. Several users agreed that a project as significant as a custom wedding dress should not be taken lightly, especially when a major life event like pregnancy changes your capacity to work. Others joked that maybe her friend could settle for a “rehearsal dinner dress” instead, applauding the dressmaker for prioritizing her health and creative integrity.
In the end, the dressmaker’s decision to retract her promise isn’t about favoritism—it’s about honoring her current reality and protecting her well-being. Her story challenges us to consider how evolving circumstances can affect commitments, and whether we should always hold on to traditions that no longer serve us.
What would you do if a major life change forced you to rethink a long-held promise? Have you ever had to set boundaries in a friendship over work commitments? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss the delicate balance between personal passion and professional responsibility.