AITA for refusing to let someone go first into the vets office despite their appointment being set before mine?

A Reddit user recounts her experience at the vet’s office with her puppy, who had an infection. After waiting nearly 40 minutes for her 12:20 appointment, a latecomer with a 12:10 appointment arrived and was initially allowed to go before her.

Feeling this was unfair given her long wait, she politely spoke up, and the latecomer agreed to wait for her turn instead. While she felt justified in her decision, some friends later made her question whether she should have been more accommodating. Read the original story below for more context.

‘ AITA for refusing to let someone go first into the vets office despite their appointment being set before mine?’

Yesterday I (29F) took my puppy (7 months) to the vet’s office due to an infection in her lymph nodes. The appointment was at 12:20, but due to some last minute emergency patients everything was running way behind schedule.

Almost 40 minutes later someone came in and when the front desk lady asked them the time of their appointment they answered “12:10”, so she told them that their turn was just before mine.

That surprised me because they had arrived basically an hour late and I had been waiting for quite a lot. While I understand that it might have been out their control it still seemed unfair.

I let them know that in the nicest way possible, but I think it was kind of obvious that I was slightly pissed off. After some awkward silence the trady agreed to go after me. Despite some dirty looks I didn’t feel guilty at all.

That was until I later talked about the situation with a couple of friends and they were divided, two of them thought it wouldn’t have hurt to wait a little bit more and made me feel a little bit bad.. So, Aita?.

Edit to add: The front desk is right beside the waiting room, it’s an open space. So when the person came in I and any other person that were to be present would have heard their conversation with any issues. This is how it went-

The receptionist welcomed them and asked for the name of the pet and the time of the appointment, they answered “12:10”. The lady told them, “okay, you go before (my pet’s name”. I chimed in “hey, get that my appointment was after them (12:20) but I’ve been waiting here for about 40 minutes and it’s almost 1 PM, I don’t think this is fair”.Both of them looked at me for a moment and the person awkwardly said “it’s okay, I can’t go after them”.

Neither of them mentioned at any moment that the person had called beforehand to warn the office about being late. Which I hope to grown adults would be able to respond to my argument and refute it. No one really asked for clarification, but many of you are arguing this point when there’s 0 indication that it happened.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

applebum8807 −  Not sure if this one will have a consensus, but I’m saying NTA.
IMO, unless you showed up freakishly ahead of schedule, you arrived first while they were late, so you should see the vet first.

siriuslywinchester −  I’m gonna say NAH because we don’t know the full circumstances around the other person being late.

Maybe the vets called them or they called the vets to find out if they were running on time or not – my hairdressers asks all of their clients to do this before setting off for their appointments, so don’t think it’s necessarily unreasonable that people who perhaps have to do these type of appointments during breaks at work to call to check, rather than ending up needing to take more time off work.

Likewise i wouldn’t say you were the AH for pointing out you’d been sat there all along and weren’t late for your appointment.

UnethicalFood −  YTA: You are correct that it’s not fair, however that is still the nature of appointments. If there had been a queue without option for appointment they would have clearly been butting the line, however they had an appointment, and they managed to get there before their time to be seen.

While yes, they missed their appointned time, so did the provider. By sheer luck they made it in before the provider reached their place to call it a missed appointment.

Select-Anxiety-1557 −  YTA. You have no idea if they called beforehand and asked for an update on their appointment time. My doctor regularly 1+ hours behind so I call before I leave work to see when I actually need to show up so I don’t waste time sitting around the waiting room. I also don’t announce that I called to the peanut gallery when I get there to check in.

sqwarkle −  I call ahead often to my vet to see if they are on schedule, they always let me know if they aren’t and to show up however long they expect the wait to be. They don’t want a a full waiting room because it could spread infections or diseases, plus it makes dogs more anxious being in a room with strangers and stranger dogs. It’s possible the other patient did the same and called ahead.

BluePopple −  If I’m following the timeline. Your appointment was 12:20. You were on time and waiting your turn. At nearly 1:00pm, a person walked in and was 40 minutes late for their scheduled appointment at 12:10. Although they were late the vet office was backed up and wouldn’t have seen that pet yet, even had they been on time.

I’m going to say NTA. If I was 40 minutes late for an appointment with my doctor they would consider I hadn’t shown and would have moved on to the next person. Had they not been backed up, they’d have likely seen the next pet early, which may or may not have been your pet depending on if the appointments were with the same staff member or not.

The office manager should have stated that while they are backed up, all these other patients were on time and she had lost her space. She’s welcome to wait and see if they can accommodate her after the on-time patients had been seen.

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – Unless the person had called to state that they were going to be late, being late means those who were on-time/waiting go before the one with poor planning.

Andreiisnthere −  I work in healthcare. So people, not animals. Our policy is that if you are late for your appointment and the person with the next person is on time, you will get bumped after them, if we agree to see you at all.

We have a 15 minute grace period. Your appointment is at 2 pm and you are here on time, it doesn’t matter if the 2:15 was here at 1:45 pm. If you come in at 2:40 and I agree to see you, you are going after the 2:15 and 2:30, if they are here. You are not going to cause me to make other patients wait.

I might sneak a 2:15 in a little early if I don’t have a patient in a room or the earlier patient is taking a long time getting registered. If the 2 pm and 2:15 pm both get here on time, I will usually see the least complex patient first to try to keep my later appointments on time.

The 12:10 patient was potentially screwing you and all the patients after you and the vet over with the wandering in 30+ minutes late. The vet should have a policy in place and communicate it to the patients/pet owners.. NTA

Ok_Conversation9750 −  NTA. They basically gave up their appointment time by being almost an hour late. 

GreenDutchman −  This is where this subreddit can be a little too harsh sometimes. Do I think you’re in the wrong? Yes. The lady might have called beforehand to say she’d be a little later due to unforeseen circumstances and then have been told about the delay, explaining why she was late.

Or she’s super inconsiderate, but the point is, you don’t know. It feels like you took out your frustration about the delay on her. But do I think you’re an a**hole? No. I would get super impatient too. Guess I’ll give you a YTABNAA (You’re THE A**hole But Not AN A**hole).