AITA for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter’s book collection?

A Redditor faces a family crisis after their 16-year-old stepson destroyed their 12-year-old daughter’s cherished book collection out of spite. The stepson fled to his biological father’s house to avoid punishment, leading to a standoff where his father demanded the incident be overlooked.

The poster stood firm, refusing to let the stepson return without facing consequences, sparking tension with their wife and in-laws. Read the original story below to understand the complex dynamics at play.

‘ AITA for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter’s book collection?’

My biological (12yo) daughter ~ Susan likes to collect and read old children’s books. She’s become incredible reader. She had problems with reading and learning before and we were advised to encourage her to read and eversince she started reading (which she does regularly) her skills improved. she also reads to her 2yo sister everynight.

I have a (16yo), stepson ~ Levi who can be a hothead sometimes. We don’t have a son~dad relationship but I respect him and he respects me though he can act quite mean and selfish towards me and his sisters. He’d throw away stuff that belongs to us over small arguments and teases Susan for spending a lot of time to read calling her grandma.

My wife and I discussed his behavior and had conversations and agreed on punishments but Levi’d go to his dad’s place whenever he causes troubles then have his dad yell at me for wanting to discuss a suitable punishment. Then Levi comes home days later expecting me to let go of what he did everytime, it’s frustrating.

I got a call at work from Susan saying Levi took her entire book collection and threw them in the pool after she refused to lend him and his friends her camera for his trip. My wife helped get them out but they were wet and some were torn. It was horrific because some of those books are hard to get and meant a lot to Susan as a part of her life.

I was so mad at Levi I came home to have a conversation with my wife to decide on a punishment but he already packed a small bag and went to his dad’s, I asked my wife how could she let him basically run after doing this and she said he called his dad and he came to pick him up after Susan said that I was coming home to deal with the problem.

I went to his dad’s house and he refused to let me see him. I told him how Levi was hiding from consequences and his dad tried to justify why Levi was acting out by blaming me for how me and Susan treat him. He even said he’d get CPS involved if I ever try to punish him because I’m not his dad, I have no right.

Adding what Levi did was a reaction to my daughter being mean to him. He told me to leave because Levi won’t come home til I promise not to do anything about what he did and put it in writing. I told him Levi should stay there with him then. He’s not to come back til ~he~ get proper punishment.

His dad argued it’s his mom’s house too and called my wife and she asked to let this go and we’ll figure out some way to resolve it but I don’t think it’s fair for Susan to have her books ruined and Levi getting away with it.

They’re asking me to let it go but this will only encourage Levi to do worse if I don’t deal with it now. It’s been 2 weeks and my in-laws say I was out of line for banning Levi from coming home and are telling me to step back but I refused.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

RedditUser123234 −  NTA. If your wife refuses to punish her son, then you need to divorce her, or at the very lease move into a separate house with Susan and your youngest daughter until Levi is out of the house for good. If your stepson continues to get away with hurting Susan with no consequence, Susan is going to suffer greatly. This is a hill to die on.

EDIT: To everyone telling me that divorce is a crazy suggestion and is an overreaction, I would like to point out my suggestion specified that he should do it **if** his wife refuses to punish her son. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t try to convince his wife first,

I’m saying that **if** she continues to go along with her ex-husband and refuse to punish her son when her son does horrible things to his daughter, then OP needs to separate his daughters from the stepson. If OP does manage to get his wife on his side, then no, obviously he shouldn’t need to divorce his wife.

boscabruiscear −  File a complaint in the small claims court for the value of the books. Keep it up with everything he destroys. When bio-dad is on the hook for paying for all his destructive behaviour, he’ll change his tune.

Redefined421 −  NTA. You’re the only reasonable person in the situation. Levi SHOULD be punished for destroying someone else’s property, but with his dad constantly making excuses for him, he knows he can get away with literally anything. This isn’t going to turn out well when Levi turns 18 and is held accountable for his actions.

Daddy can’t tell the cops that it’s someone else’s fault that his precious son did something bad. It doesn’t work that way. He’s going to wind up in jail.
Take all of Levi’s stuff he left at your house, and have a yard sale. If he has expensive electronics, sell them on eBay or Marketplace.

Use the money to replace your daughter’s book collection. That seems like the only fair thing to do at this point. If/when he comes back to your house, he’ll probably throw a fit, but that’s pretty much the only way you can punish him if he’s hiding out at his dads.

that-bro-joshy −  NTA. If you let this go it’ll show your daughter that she means nothing and can be stepped on whenever, it’ll also show Levi he’s immune to punishments and he’ll keep doing it. Do not let him get away with this, for the sake of your daughter

Horror_Jellyfish1233 −  I’m still trying to process Levi’s bio dad saying Levi won’t go back until OP promises not to punish him. So then OP says “Fine he’s not coming back.” And then bio dad is Like “What? No fair it’s his mom’s house too.” Like pick a side dude. Also NTA. Do not let him back in the house after the way he treated your daughter.

CT0760 −  OMG, NTA, his parents are clearly enabling him and he needs to learn consequences. If he isnt showing remorse or regret over what he does and keeps doing it, then why should he be welcome in your home?

I’d consider filing a report with the police if you let him back and he does stuff, destruction of property should give him punishment. (I’m probably being a bit extreme here, but who wants to take care of such a kid?)

[Reddit User] −  No hecking way. He is not getting away with this. Stand your ground. He did something *awful* to his sister and he deserves to be punished. His dad is obviously choosing picking a fight with you over actually being a parent to his kid, which is horrendous, but you’re not powerless here. Don’t let him come back.

This is clearly a pattern–him misbehaving, him running away and him ducking out on being held accountable–and it needs to be broken. He’s gone too far. Tell your wife that if her ex refuses to be a parent to Levi, then she needs to step up. And tell her that Susan deserves her support and protection from a kid who is clearly angry and petty enough to wreck stuff that is precious to her.

And if this ever settles down and you’re willing to put in the effort, sit down to talk to her and her ex about the parenting situation, because this is only going to lead to Levi becoming an insufferable adult who thinks he can do anything and get away with everything. NTA

wet_nib811 −  NTA, but what the hell has Mom done to control/punish her son? F**k that dad. He wants to excuse his son’s dickish behavior. Why doesn’t he discipline his own son when he’s over his house.

Evil_Mel −  NTA. File a police report for destruction of property & take him to small claims court on behalf of your daughter. This may cause wife to leave tho, especially if she favors the son over her daughters (which, imo she does).

Your wife is defending a young man who knows better & he will continue to be destructive till he is punished. Who owns the home? Is it marital property?

gen_petra −  NTA. This is the hill I’d die on. Your wife should be on your side. YWBTA if you don’t protect your daughters from him.

Was the Redditor justified in refusing to let the stepson return without punishment? How should parents handle blended family dynamics when one child harms another’s cherished belongings? Share your thoughts and suggestions below!