AITA for refusing to let my stepfather walk me down the aisle?

A Redditor shared their heartfelt dilemma about choosing their older brother, who stepped in as a father figure after their dad’s passing, to walk them down the aisle instead of their stepfather.

While their brother holds a special place in their heart, their stepfather insists it’s his “only chance” for such a role, causing family tension and leaving the bride-to-be torn. Read the full story below to see how you would handle this emotional decision.

‘ AITA for refusing to let my stepfather walk me down the aisle? ‘

My father died when I was 12 and my older brother was 17.He was practically a boy when my mother went into a depression that affected her for years. My brother stepped in and took care of us. He helped out around the house and helped me with school while my mother was getting treatment.

He basically became my father figure. I didn’t want him to grow up so fast, but I was a little girl who had just been orphaned. I wouldn’t be able to do much. Time skip, now I’m 26 and my brother is 31 My mother got better years later and met a guy named “A” who seems really nice, but he can’t have children biologically.

That’s why his wife separated from him years ago. The problem is… I’m getting married in 2 months and my stepfather insisted on walking me down the aisle because it would be the “only chance” he could do something like that, but I really want it to be my brother.

Because no one deserves this more than him, now half of my family is on my side and the other half said that I should go with my stepfather because my brother would look “aesthetically weird” next to me since we are close in age. What do I do? Tell everyone to go f**k themselves?

Lose the chance to go with my brother? I don’t know how to talk to my mother because she is not so mentally stable anymore.. Possible relevant info. Mom(55) Stepdad (55) And they have been together since I was 20. I’m sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my first language.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

bendybiznatch −  The weirdness of telling an adult that you didn’t even know as a kid that you want to be a centerpiece of their wedding day is…well, weird. Really weird. Like, you’ve known this dude for a few years..

That would be aesthetically weird. This is just some weird boundary stomping. “I have taken your thought and feelings into consideration. I will be continuing with having my brother, who acted as a father to me in my formative years, walk me down the aisle.

I look forward to enjoying the day and consider this conversation closed.” And then shut it down. Anytime it’s brought up hand up, walk away, or don’t respond to the text. Because this is just weird behavior.. NTA

ProfessionSanity −  Your brother has been your father figure since you were 12. He deserves the honor of walking you down the aisle. Tell the rest of the family that your brother put in the time and hard work of raising you, your stepfather did not.. NTA

Harvard_Diplomat −  My father died when I was 12 . That dude living in the house is not your father. He is just a dude f\*cking your mom (for the past few years). He wasn’t even around until you were 20; a grown ass adult. Doesn’t matter if it is his only chance to walk someone down the aisle. Not your problem. Your brother should give you away.

Preference_Afraid −  “while I understand step dad views this as his only chance to fulfill some kind of dream, it is not my desire nor responsibility to help him achieve it.

This wedding is not only about celebrating the love and future of my fiance and me, but also to honor those who helped us to grow and develop into who we are today.

To deny my brother the honor he earned by being there consistently in my darkest hours as a child would be not only hurtful, but disrespectful. I will not hurt and disrespect my brother in this way simply to please a man that did not enter my life until I was grown. ”

No_Cockroach4248 −  Why would you let a stranger walk you down the aisle? You were an adult when your mother married her new husband. You are not running the “rent a daughter to walk down the aisle” service. It is an insult to the memory of your father and the hardwork your brother put in to raise you.

Tell the other half of the family who said it would be strange for your brother to walk you down the aisle because you are so close in age, why did they stand by and left your brother carrying the burden of raising his younger siblings? So essentially yes, they can go fxxx themselves. NTA

deskenche −  NTA. It sounds like your brother has been a significant and supportive figure in your life, especially during a really tough time. It’s completely understandable that you would want him to walk you down the aisle.

This day is about you and your partner, and it’s important that it reflects your wishes and the people who have been most meaningful in your life. Your stepfather’s feelings are valid, but so are yours.

Maybe there’s another special way he can be involved in the wedding to honor his role in your life without taking away from your brother’s well-deserved moment. Ultimately, it’s your decision, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to make a choice that doesn’t feel right to you. Good luck, and I hope your wedding day is everything you dream of! 💕

Zealousideal_Mood118 −  I have a close friend who lost her dad when she was in college. Her parents were already divorced and her mother remarried a really lovely guy. When my friend was getting married, he stayed out of things and did what my friend wanted for her wedding because it wasn’t about him.

Everything was beautiful and a great time was had by all. That’s how adults act. He knew he didn’t raise my friend and was just happy to be included in the wedding at all. Your brother sounds like the perfect person to walk you down the aisle.

I think it sounds so meaningful. Do what is best for you. Your mother’s husbands emotional/mental health isn’t your responsibility. We all have situations in life where we don’t get to have experiences we wish we could have. We have to work through that and move on with our lives. That’s just life.

KWS1461 −  Brother walks you.

soyeah_87 −  “Whilst i appreciate you love my mother, and I’m grateful for that, the fact is you aren’t my father and have never been a father figure. I’m sorry to hurt you. The guy who is getting the honour, is the teenager who has EARNED it through blood, sweat and tears at a time when his life had also fallen apart.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t be getting married without him. I’m sure you understand.”. If he keeps pushing it: “If you cannot see how inappropriate it would be to shaft my brother after all of his extraordinary sacrifice and strength, then I just can’t help you”

Fire_or_water_kai −  NTA. Your step dad wants the experience of walking someone down the aisle, not that he did so much for you and it means so much. His want doesn’t override the bond, honor, and experience between you and your brother.

Your mom probably hates that it shows how much your brother did for you when she didn’t. F**k that noise. My brother walked me down the aisle too, and it meant a lot to him.

Is the Reddit user right to honor her brother for his sacrifices, or should she consider her stepfather’s feelings and give him this special role? How would you navigate such a delicate family situation? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!