AITA for refusing to let my sister’s boyfriend attend Christmas dinner after what he said to my husband?

A Redditor is questioning if they’re wrong for banning their sister’s boyfriend, Jack, from Christmas dinner after he insulted their husband. Jack made a hurtful comment, calling their husband, an elementary school teacher, “a babysitter who actually gets paid for it.” The Redditor defended their husband by pointing out Jack’s lack of a job and dependence on their sister, which led to Jack storming out. Now, the sister wants Jack to join Christmas dinner, but the Redditor insists he’s not welcome without an apology. To read the full story, continue below…

‘ AITA for refusing to let my sister’s boyfriend attend Christmas dinner after what he said to my husband?’

My sister’s been dating this guy, Jack, for about six months. She’s head over heels for him, but my husband and I aren’t his biggest fans. He’s been… offhandedly rude a few times, but nothing major until recently.

Last weekend, we hosted a small family dinner. Jack was invited, and things were going fine until Jack made a comment about my husband’s work. My husband is an elementary school teacher, and Jack apparently thought it was funny to call him “a babysitter who actually gets paid for it.”

My husband tried to laugh it off, but I could see he was hurt. My husband works so hard and genuinely loves what he does, so I snapped back and told Jack that at least my husband contributes something meaningful to the world, unlike people who just mooch off their girlfriends (Jack is unemployed and lives with my sister rent-free). Things got tense, and Jack stormed out. My sister later said I embarrassed him and that I should apologize.

Now Christmas is coming up, and my sister asked if Jack could come to our family dinner. I said no. I told her he wasn’t welcome in my house until he apologized to my husband. She called me a h**ocrite for demanding an apology after what I said about him. Our parents are staying neutral, but my mom did say it might be better to just let it go for the holidays.. So, AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

BasicRabbit4 −  Lmao. He’s insulting your husband for being a teacher when the guy is unemployed and leeching off your sister. The audacity of this clown.. Nta. F that guy.. Eta thank you for the awards.

AmberGlow55 −  Just to clarify: my husband didn’t say anything to provoke Jack, and this wasn’t a one-off thing. Jack has made snide comments about other people in the family before, like joking about my dad being “too old-fashioned” for using cash instead of digital payments. It’s not just us. Also, I’d be open to having a civil conversation with Jack, but he hasn’t reached out at all since that night. My sister keeps doubling down that I’m the one who should apologize, which feels unfair considering he started it.

Kragg_hack −  NTA. If you would have said it unprovoked you might have been a bit of an AH. But now he was making fun of a person with one of the most important jobs in the world, and he does that as an unemployed person that lives as a parasite on your sister.

So he deserved to hear it, and I hope your sister soon throws away her Rosa tinted glasses and see him for the person he is. And by that I don’t mean that he is unemployed, that can happen to anyone. But he is making fun of people for no good reason, and isn’t ready to get something thrown back at him.

BrilliantEmphasis862 −  NTA – Jack is likely lashing out because he feels inadequate because he is unemployed. he doesn’t get to come to your house and put you down. He can spend Xmas looking for a job and thinking about his life choices.. bravo OP.

Frequent-Interest796 −  NTA- jack sucks. At best he is an ignorant mooch, at worst he maybe attempting to create division in your family in hopes of isolating his gravy train.

kukonimz −  It’s rich to mock your husband’s’ career while he’s unemployed… what a tool! NTA. He’s rude just to be rude, it’s perfectly valid to not want him in your house. And you were standing up to him, not insulting him unprovoked. You’re not a h**ocrite. NTA. Why is your sister in-to this l**er?

NefariousnessFresh24 −  NTA – do the non-apology apology. “I feel sorry that you got offended when I called you out on your inacceptable and unexcusable behavior that evening. I am sorry that you are so insecure about the fact that you are an unemployed p**asitic leech who only drains people and does not contribute to society, that you feel you need to belittle people who actually do something meaningful in order to make yourself feel better about your pathetic little life. I am sorry that you are not capable of being a person who can admit a mistake and try to make amends without other people bending over backwards for him. I am sorry that me being open and honest to you caused all of these problems.”

wishingforarainyday −  NTA. So your sister is ok with Jack disrespecting her family. Your sister should have called him out as well, instead she wants you to apologize to him for his bad behavior? Sounds like she doesn’t respect you either. OR, she’s in an a**sive relationship and is trying to please him to keep him from getting angry at her. Be very watchful of him.. Updateme

RockerStubbs −  You *could* extend an olive branch – ‘when Jack apologizes to hubs for criticizing his teaching job, I’ll apologize to Jack for pointing out that he’s a mooch with no job’. 😉 NTA.

lovebeinganasshole −  NTA. I wouldn’t apologize he’s just another one of those assholes that can dish but not take it. I mean who makes fun of another persons job whilst simultaneously being an unemployed mooch? Eta: all things being equal, who insults the host?