AITA for refusing to let my sister stay with me after she got married and demanded I “adjust” my lifestyle for her husband?
A Reddit user shares their frustration after their sister, newly married, asks to stay at their apartment with her husband — but with a long list of demands that would disrupt their lifestyle.
Faced with guilt and boundaries, they question whether they’re in the wrong for refusing. Read the full story below to weigh in on this family dispute!
‘ AITA for refusing to let my sister stay with me after she got married and demanded I “adjust” my lifestyle for her husband?’
So I (28F) have a pretty established routine. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and while I’m not a “neat freak,” I like my space to be organized and have a certain vibe to it (think minimalist, calm, and quiet). My sister (30F) recently got married to this guy (31M) who I barely know.
They live about 3 hours away, and since their wedding a month ago, she’s been asking to stay with me for a few weeks. Normally, I’d be fine with it — I love my sister — but there’s a catch. When I agreed, she dropped the bomb that she’s bringing her husband with her.
Apparently, he “doesn’t feel comfortable being alone” for extended periods, so she wants me to “adjust” my lifestyle for them as a couple. This means rearranging my apartment for them, having “quiet hours” during the day because he works from home, and no longer playing music or hosting friends when they’re around.
Oh, and she suggested I stop using the guest room for my own “hobbies,” which is how I unwind after work. Basically, I’m supposed to cater to their “needs” and “make space for their relationship.”
I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that, especially since I don’t even know her husband that well and wasn’t planning on making my home into a mini hotel or daycare for them. She got super upset, called me selfish, and said it’s just for a couple of weeks.
But I’m really not okay with it — I feel like I would be giving up a lot of my personal space and peace of mind just for her convenience. Now, she’s threatening not to visit at all, and I’m feeling guilty but also like she’s overstepping. So, AITA for refusing to let them stay under these conditions?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Burn420Account69 − It sounds like she wants to move in and live with you rent free while, not really, searching for a place to live.. NTA. Your sister sucks.
Buttered_Crumpet09 − NTA. Something fishy is going on here. Why would they expect you to rearrange your apartment, move out your hobby stuff, and basically change everything for them just for a few weeks?
This sounds more like a case of, “We need somewhere to stay but know we’ll be told no, so we’ll ‘visit’ for a few weeks, and then OP won’t be able to get rid of us because she’ll be leaving us homeless, so we can stay for longer and longer until OP has to evict us or accepts that this is our home now.”
And even if it isn’t that, who the hell as a guest asks someone to rearrange everything for them? My cousin has stayed at my house a lot and not once has he demanded that I rearrange everything for him.
Either your sister and her husband are s**tty and demanding guests, or they’re s**tty and demanding mooches trying to con their way into your home. Either way, say no. It will only end badly.
supertwicken − NTA. **She** called **you** selfish??? Has your sister always been delusional?
unfortunate_crafter − NTA. It’s your space and it sounds like she’s asking for a lot. A couple weeks is a long time to live in a situation that’s making you uncomfortable.
NanoLogica001 − NTA- your sister sounds like a moocher. Is there something she’s hiding — like she and spouse have no stable housing? And why does spouse have to work during the visit? Something is not adding up!
TyrannasaurusRecked − NTA. Send her a list of local hotels and Air BnB listings.
MTClarity − I spend a good portion of my day helping people legally throw family members out of their personal spaces. Do not allow her in, court fees are expensive.
marv115 − You have to “adjust” in YOUR HOME? Yeah no, it was no after she said weeks, even more no after each request, no way.
ScowlyBrowSpinster − Hotels are made for people like these.
veloxaraptor − I’m supposed to cater to their “needs” and “make space for their relationship.” She can do that in her own house on her own time. Not yours. She doesn’t want to visit you, she wants to move in to your place and make it so you’re uncomfortable enough that you just let them have it.
She’s the one making this an untenable situation and threatening not to visit because you won’t make yourself uncomfortable in your own home. Don’t feel guilty for her inability to be a rational human being.. NTA
Is the Redditor justified in protecting their personal space, or should they compromise for the sake of family? How do you navigate setting boundaries with loved ones when their expectations feel unreasonable? Share your thoughts and advice below!
