AITA for refusing to let my mother-in-law redecorate our nursery?
A Reddit user shared how they and their husband Felix established firm boundaries with his mother after she continuously disrespected their home and overstepped in their preparations for their baby.
Felix supported his partner, talking to his mother privately to set clear limits about their household and the nursery. His mother initially resisted, but after the conversation, she apologized and committed to respecting their wishes.
The couple is cautiously hopeful about the changes, but there’s still some skepticism on whether she’ll truly respect their boundaries. Read the original story below.
‘ AITA for refusing to let my mother-in-law redecorate our nursery?’
Felix and I sat down and had a conversation about how to manage his mother going forwards. I told him everything that she had said to me and he was adequately furious with her.
He asked me exactly what I wanted done in the future so that she’d understand where our boundaries are. And follow them. I told him that I’d rather him speak to her alone at first so that I wasn’t immediately made out to be the bad guy.
I acted on advice and locksmith has been called to change the locks on the house, and Felix has ordered us a Ring doorbell off Amazon with the assurance ‘I’ll be able to put it in’ (he hates doing the electrics but you know how it is I’ll leave him to it lol).
And then he called up MIL and organised a lunch date for today so they could have a talk between themselves. He got back in the afternoon and as he walked into the door, smiled at me and went “Sorted!” and, characteristically, went to go and make himself a cup of tea.
I got a message a few minutes later from her saying she was very sorry for what she had said to me, that she was in the wrong. Only going to visit when invited, not going to go into the nursery anymore, and was going to respect the rules and boundaries that he and I set for our home life and for our child.
And after added that she was sorry for the comments she’d made on my appearance. I’ll believe it when I see it but at least it’s a good start, and we’ve all agreed to go for dinner at some point to talk about future expectations when the the baby comes.
I talked to Felix, and he said that she’d been offended at first, didn’t believe she’d done anything wrong, and he also specifically said she hit with the spiel of “Oh I must be such an awful mother then”, and he told me he’d told her “It’s not about that, it’s about you disrespecting my wife, our child and our home.
If you continue, you’re not going to dream of being able to see your grandchild.”. She was apparently and unsurprisingly sulky, and he told her to apologise, and she said she would and to her credit did.
Check out how the community responded:
peggingpinhead − well now i want to see Felix in Florida
me_not_at_work − Sounds like Felix is a keeper. You should marry that man.
AnnieJack − We want Felix! We want Felix! We want Felix! I’m glad he has your back and I’m glad his mom says she’ll follow the boundaries. I agree that you don’t necessarily know if she’ll stick to it, but it’s a good start.
WhereWeretheAdults − I saw your original post. I’m glad hubby has your back on this.
LowBalance4404 − Great update and I agree with you on the “I’ll believe it when I see it”, but hopefully, she’s really gotten the message.
And yes, I’d like to see Felix in Florida, please.
Cursd818 − Felix is a good man and I would very much like to see him Florida lol
llc4269 − Felix rocks. Hopefully your mother-in-law is serious and respects boundaries. I want to be a grandmother so much and while I don’t have any yet Reddit has been an excellent tool in showing me what kind of mother-in-law and grandmother to NOT BE EVER.
Also, that b**lshit about how she’s raised three children and knows better than you about what endangers babies? That’s what my mother-in-law said and insisted on laying my baby boy on his stomach. I was very ill with a medical emergency after his birth and was unable to care for him for 2 months.
I begged her not to put him on his stomach as research was showing that could contribute to SIDS and they were starting to really push that education-wise. She insisted that she was put on her tummy and all of her children were put on her tummy and it would be fine.
And I was honestly too sick to keep badgering her about it. And then when I could take care of him again he would NOT sleep any other way ever and guess what? He died of SIDS at almost 4 months.
This was 21 years ago so we have worked through it all and she was highly traumatized (as was my FIL because they were for dinner and he is the one who actually laid him down) and felt terrible. I hated my inlaws for a minute but she was suicidal and I knew that it wasn’t something they intended.
Plus, I do care about them very much and love them. And since nobody really knows what causes sids and He had some other health conditions happening that the medical examiner could not say did not contribute to his d**th, I’m chose not to blame her.
But it still took a long time to completely get over my complicated feelings towards her because it’s as devastating as you think it’s going to be. Listen to your gut, mama. We are given instincts for a reason.
marblefree − This is an amazing update. Felix clearly prioritizes you and I love him for this! You picked a good one.
Metallic_Monotone − Congratulations and well done! Felix in Florida or it didn’t happen.
Due_Kaleidoscope7066 − Felix did everything right and only had one request. And we all get denied the photo of him in Florida. OP is a monster. Do you at least have a cat you can satiate us with?
Do you think the couple handled the situation effectively, or could they have taken a different approach with the mother-in-law? How would you set boundaries with family members who push their preferences? Share your thoughts below!