AITA for Refusing to Let My Child Share a Room With Their Step-Sibling?

A Reddit user shared her difficult decision about refusing to let her 10-year-old son share a room with his 11-year-old step-sister, despite her partner’s push to create a home office. While she values privacy and personal boundaries for the kids, her partner feels she’s being inflexible and prioritizing her son’s needs over his. Read the full story below to see how this family dynamic unfolded.

‘ AITA for Refusing to Let My Child Share a Room With Their Step-Sibling?’

I (36F) have a 10-year-old son, Ethan, from my previous marriage. My partner, Dan (38M), moved in with me last year, and he has an 11-year-old daughter, Lila, who stays with us every other week. Ethan and Lila get along well, but they both have their own rooms, which I believe is important for their comfort and privacy.

Recently, Dan proposed that we have Ethan and Lila share a room so we can turn the other room into a home office for him. He’s been working from the kitchen table and says it’s not ideal. While I understand his frustration, I don’t think it’s fair to ask the kids to give up their individual spaces, especially when they’re at an age where privacy and personal boundaries are so important.

When I told Dan I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, he got upset and said I wasn’t willing to compromise to make our blended family work. He argued that it’s normal for siblings or step-siblings to share rooms and that the kids will adjust. He also claimed that I’m prioritizing Ethan’s comfort over his needs and making him feel like an outsider in the house.

I suggested alternatives, like creating a small workspace in our bedroom or rearranging the living room, but Dan dismissed them as impractical. He insists the kids will be fine sharing, especially since Lila is only here part-time, but I know Ethan values having his own space and would likely feel resentful if it were taken away.

Now Dan is accusing me of being unreasonable and unwilling to make sacrifices for our relationship. I feel guilty because I want our family dynamic to work, but I also want to protect my son’s comfort and well-being.
So, AITA for refusing to let my child share a room with their step-sibling to make space for a home office?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

_s1m0n_s3z −  No, step-siblings of opposite genders should not be sharing a bedroom as they head into puberty. NTA.

AdAccomplished6870 −  This is a massive red flag. Respond as you see necessary. 1. It was Ethan’s house before it was Dan’s
2. The adults should alwayus priooritize the kids. 3. adolescents need privacy.

4. Putting two opposite s** adolescents into a room together as they go through puberty is an incredibly bad idea. There are 100 things that could happen, and none of them are good.
Dan is ignoring all this and wants what he wants, s**ew everyone else. And is being a big, m**ipulative baby about it.

AltruisticLime27 −  NTA. But you have a bf problem not a child problem. It’s about time to remove the pink glasses and see the rest of the red flags and to rethink all that relationship…

SarcasticAnd −  Hell no. Nope. Noway. No. Edit: put a sofa bed or something in the office for her and her dad to share the space.

ImposterSyndrome412 −  Absolutely not. He’s prioritizing his own comfort over the comfort and potential safety (not saying anything will happen) of the children. If he wants an office, he needs to find an alternative.

meowbbaabe −  Nah, you’re not the AH. Kids need their own space, period. He can set up his office somewhere else. It’s not about not compromising—it’s about what’s fair for the kids.

DazzleLove −  NTA. WTF? It is a big ask for step siblings of the same s** to share a room, albeit for short bursts eg weekends, it’s more reasonable. Equally if the kids were small, that would also be OK. However, his daughter is just at the age where it is now incredibly inappropriate. Do you really want to be with someone who is so selfish that he doesn’t prioritise his own child’s privacy over his wants?

OliveMammoth6696 −  No. Children of the same s** going through puberty have no business being in the same room. Dan is selfish and you should reconsider the relationship. I feel bad for his daughter. Also why would he ever think he could change things in your home.

OkHedgewitch −  He moved in with YOU. If he can’t respect that it’s your son’s home, he can move right back out. Boys and girls at that age do need privacy, particularly ones that didn’t grow up as siblings. He’s being selfish and unrealistic.. and pushy and demanding.. NTA.

AcanthocephalaOne285 −  It’s funny how the only one not making a sacrifice is your husband.. What a selfish AH. You’re 100% in the right here. Those kids need their space, not just because they’re not siblings, but because they’re of the opposite s**.