AITA for refusing to let my brother’s fiancée wear white to my wedding?

A bride-to-be finds herself at odds with her brother’s fiancée, who insists on wearing a white dress to the wedding despite the bride’s objections. The situation escalates when the bride’s brother sides with his fiancée, accusing the bride of being insecure and controlling. Read the full story below to see if the bride is in the wrong…

‘ AITA for refusing to let my brother’s fiancée wear white to my wedding?’

So, I (27F) am getting married in March to my fiancé (28M). We’re keeping the wedding fairly traditional, and I’ve been looking forward to this day for years. Here’s where the problem comes in: my brother’s fiancée, Emily (25F), approached me at our family Christmas gathering and casually mentioned that she found the “perfect dress” for my wedding.

She pulled up a picture on her phone, and it was a full-on white gown. Not off-white or cream—straight-up bridal white. I was a little taken aback and said, “Oh, Emily, I don’t think that’ll work. Brides usually wear white, and it might confuse people.” She kind of laughed it off and said, “It’s fine, I’m not trying to upstage you or anything. I just love how I look in white.”

I told her I’d prefer if she found something else, but she brushed me off and said, “It’s your day, no one’s going to mistake me for the bride.” I brought this up with my brother, and he got defensive, saying I’m “making a big deal out of nothing” and that Emily is “just being herself.” He also accused me of being insecure if I think people will actually think she’s the bride.

I’m honestly upset. I don’t want a confrontation, but I feel like it’s common knowledge not to wear white to a wedding unless you’re the bride. My fiancé agrees with me, and so does my mom, but my brother and Emily are acting like I’m a control freak.

I told Emily again (nicely) that she’s welcome to come in any other color, but wearing white is a no-go. She rolled her eyes and said she didn’t understand why I was being so “uptight” about it. Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting? So, AITA for sticking to this boundary?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

mamabear131 −  Write “Not the Bride” on a neon traffic vest. Bring it to the bridal shower and have guests write on it. Make it a HUGE joke that whoever shows up in white has to wear it. Hang it near the door at the Reception. If she shows up in white there is no way in hell she’ll put it on. But she’ll see it.

More importantly EVERYONE will see it. And will know she wore white even though EVERYONE was warned in advance with the vest at the bridal shower. And know she should be wearing it. Allow the vest and the side eye to do its work.

Warn all the bridesmaids and have them loudly congratulate your future SIL on how courageous she is to wear white at someone else’s wedding. You can’t really stop her without making a scene, BUT you can give her all the negative attention she deserves.

AlternativeLie9486 −  The fact that she thought to mention the dress and show it to you tells me she is starting drama. Why else should anyone care what she wears to the wedding? Make it clear to her and your brother that if she shows us wearing white or similar, she will be asked to leave.

That’s your desire as the bride to be the only person wearing white. If people give you a hard time, you just say, that’s the tradition and I’m sticking with it and keep repeating until everyone shuts up. Tell her that she can have everyone else wearing white at her wedding if she wants but it’s not happening at yours. Just keep repeating calmly to anyone who has an opinion.

Horror-Reveal7618 −  Nta. Emily is setting herself to have a whole bottle of wine dumped on her white dress.

angelicak92 −  “Emily let me make this perfectly clear. If you show up in white to my wedding, you and my brother WILL be escorted out. I’ve mentioned multiple times that you’ve been told not to show up in white and you’ve responded rudely each time so please understand that I am completely serious about this.” ….you don’t need to be polite when she’s being so rude to you. Nta

LegionBreaker22 −  Should I just uninvite her from the wedding

Petalwillow −  NTA at all. Its ur wedding and u get to set the dress code. Its super disrespectful of her to even suggest wearing a white gown. Like is she trying to steal ur thunder or sum? Its not abt insecurity its abt basic courtesy.

Suspicious-Donkey16 −  NTA, if your soon to be SIL is like this now, I’d hate to see what she’s like in 5 or 10 years time. If she does end up coming and wears white to your wedding, when it’s her wedding, you should try and get as many guests as possible to wear white to her wedding “since you guys all like how you look in white too”

marshdd −  These fake stories just get worse.

Jazzlike-Bird-3192 −  Tell her you’re planning on re-wearing your wedding gown to her wedding because you like how you look in white. She doesn’t need to worry. Nobody will mistake you for the bride that day. I would hire security. If she shows up in a white dress, don’t let her in.. NTA

DameJudysBench −  This is 100% fake. Loop at the OP. Not a 27F.

Do you think the bride is justified in her request, or is the fiancée’s choice of attire harmless? How would you handle such a situation without escalating tensions further? Share your thoughts and experiences below!