AITA for Refusing to Lend My Car to My Friend After She Wrecked It Last Time?
A 29-year-old man refused to lend his car to his friend Kelly after she totaled it during a previous trip. Although Kelly paid for repairs, the experience left him uneasy about lending it again. When she recently asked to borrow his car for a family event, he declined, causing tension between them.
Kelly accused him of being overdramatic, while their mutual friends are divided—some believe he should give her another chance, while others support his caution. read the original story below…
‘ AITA for Refusing to Lend My Car to My Friend After She Wrecked It Last Time? ‘
I (29M) have a decent car that I worked hard to buy. It’s nothing fancy, but it gets me where I need to go. A few months ago, I lent my car to my friend, Kelly (28F), for a weekend trip. I trusted her, and I thought it would be fine. However, she ended up wrecking it—totaled the front end.
She swore it was an accident and offered to pay for the repairs, but it took weeks to get it fixed, and I was out of a car during that time. After she finally paid for the repairs, I was still feeling pretty uneasy about lending my car again. Fast forward to last week, Kelly asked to borrow my car for a family event because her car was in the shop.
I hesitated and told her I was uncomfortable lending it out again after what happened last time. She got really upset and accused me of not trusting her. I tried to explain my feelings, but she kept insisting that I was being dramatic and that it was just an accident.
Now, our mutual friends are divided—some think I should give her another chance, while others agree that I have every right to be cautious. I feel terrible for letting her down, but I also think my feelings are valid given the circumstances. AITA for refusing to lend my car again?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
bamf1701 − NTA. She is right – you don’t trust her, and with good reason. She wrecked your car when you loaned it to her as a favor, and, even if she paid for repairs, you still had to deal with not having a car while it was getting repaired. Basically, your friend is upset because she is dealing with the consequences of her own actions.
IndividualEye1803 − Its your car?! U cant be forced to lend it?! The only reason they are comfortable asking is because this is a DUH and shouldnt even be doubted… but you doubt and they know they can push you over. Thats all i get from these posts – as there is no way you can be an AH for your property.
People only do what u allow. NTA, but you will be to yourself if u continue to let people push u over / let them feel its comfortable bombarding u to change your mind.
extinct_diplodocus − “AITA for refusing to lend my car?” **NTA** You don’t need a reason for not lending your car. You have no obligation to *ever* lend your car. You don’t have to and should not explain or provide reasons.
You should simply say “No, that doesn’t work for me”. Your friend is acting awfully e**itled. If she doesn’t have a car and needs one, she can do what the average person does and rent one.
naturalistwork − NTA. If your friends think you’re overreacting, then they are welcome to loan their car instead!
squigs − NTA. I’m really surprised how easy going a lot of people here are about lending people their car. And how e**itled borrowers can be. Cars are expensive! She has absolutely no right to your car and you don’t need a reason not to lend it to her. Car rental places exist for this purpose.
mfruitfly − NTA. I think you can just let her know that while it was an accident, it made you realize that you don’t want to lend an expensive and necessary piece of property out to people. Yes accidents happen, but you need your car to get around and having to go through the hassle of repairs and all that has made you much more careful with the car in general.
She isn’t in a “tough situation” she just has to find a ride for one day, or even a few days while her car is in the shop. Which is literally what you went through for WEEKS when your car was in an accident.
Trust me, even if the person I loved and trust the most had been in an accident with my car, and I knew it was totally not their fault, it would make me cautious for awhile to lend it to anyone, because going through repairs and insurance and getting the money from them and all that is a headache.
OneEyedDane − NTA. Her car was in the shop? When she knew she had a family event!? Was her car crashed and in for repairs? A service of a car takes a couple of hours at most, and you know the time and date for it.. You dont plan it when you need your car..
perpetuallyxhausted − Now, our mutual friends are divided—some think I should give her another chance, Well look at that, she’s got volunteers so clearly she doesn’t need your car.
Davoneous47 − My brother totaled my car when I was 16, after I said he could not take it when he asked (and he took it anyway). It was the 4th accident he had been in- the first two were cars my parents bought him, which he also totaled. It’s been 20 years, and I still will not let him drive my car, nor will I get into a car with him behind the wheel.
My family gives me a lot of grief for this position, and my response is always “let him take YOUR car, I cannot afford to have my car wrecked right now.” “But he’s a good driver now”- great. Let him buy his own car, pay for his own insurance, and I hope he drives it in good health.
But I refuse to be the villain for not throwing away what I’ve worked hard for so he can “go out and have a good time.” You are not the a**hole, driving cars is a privilege not a right. Driving someone else’s car is not something you are e**itled to, especially if you’re a proven liability.
Foreign_Anteater_693 − NTA. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Is he being overly cautious, or is it reasonable to protect his property? Share your thoughts below!