AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after being stuck with it for the past five years?

A Redditor who has hosted Thanksgiving for five years is fed up with doing all the work alone and announced he won’t host this year. Despite his family’s resistance and claims that he’s “ruining Thanksgiving” by not following “tradition,” he’s sticking to his decision, frustrated by their lack of help. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after being stuck with it for the past five years?’

I (38M) have been hosting Thanksgiving for my family every year since I bought my house five years ago. This includes my parents, siblings, their spouses, kids, and occasionally extended family. In total, it’s about 20 people.

I don’t mind cooking, but the problem is no one ever helps. I do all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cooking, and the massive cleanup afterward. Last year, I asked for help, but everyone either ignored me or gave some l**e excuse like, “I’m not good in the kitchen” or “I don’t know how to cook.”

Meanwhile, they’re sitting around while I’m running around the kitchen all day. After the meal? Same thing. They sit around chatting and drinking while I’m the only one cleaning up. So this year, I said enough is enough. I told them I’m not hosting Thanksgiving.

I suggested someone else step up, or we could split the cost of catering. Cue the drama. My siblings flipped out, complaining about how it’s “tradition” for me to host. My mom called me s**fish, and my aunt said I was ruining Thanksgiving for the kids because they “love coming to my house.”

Now, they’re all upset with me, calling me lazy and saying I’m ruining the holiday. Honestly, I’m tired of being treated like their personal chef and cleanup crew every year, but now I feel guilty for putting my foot down. So, AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving this year?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

corgihuntress −  Hold your ground. These people are mean, e**itled, and lazy. I wouldn’t take their calls, read their emails or texts, or otherwise engage with them. Either that, or if you do answer, just say I agree.

I’m too lazy to clean, shop, cook, set the table, wash all the dishes, and clean up all the mess again after five years in a row of doing everything by myself while the rest of you leaches sit on your asses and don’t do a damned thing.

And now you have the gall to suggest that I’m required to serve you. Why don’t you look in the mirror and see who’s actually lazy and s**fish, not to mention e**itled, whiney, ungrateful. NTA

WhereWeretheAdults −  NTA. Their ‘tradition’ is being catered to by you. They are fighting to keep that alive because all they have to do is show up, be fed, enjoy themselves and go home. You get the cost, cooking, and cleanup. I would start a new tradition, a nice vacation for you over Thanksgiving.

thegloracle −  NTA. You can do an immediate-family only dinner and let the rest of the choosy beggars fend for themselves. Or – get everyone to chip in $10/person and order take-out or catering.

Everything gets eaten on paper plates and with plastic utensils then into a giant trash bag at the end of the night. Boom! Done.. Or – someone else can step up.

Or – they can buy entry in with a dish. An actual dish for 20 people, not just buns or some stupid s**t. Assign everyone a dish and let them know they’ll need to bring it to come in the door. Not even joking. If they want their plate/bowl back, they’ll need to wash it or it becomes yours forever.

OkEmergency3607 −  NTA. I’d agree by saying “I’ll have everyone over to my house.” Then, when they arrive, and there are no pies baked, no food cooking, no groceries in the kitchen and i didn’t spend days cleaning, I’d say “New Tradition” and everyone can order pizza. And they can s**k it.

Your family kinda blows. You’re cordially invited to my family’s Thanksgiving. We trip over each other to help, then eat, clean up and play games and watch football and yell at the TV. Not exciting, but it’s about family and we genuinely like being around each other.

cmooneychi26 −  I lived this nightmare for 10 years. When I finally pulled the plug, everyone was shocked Pikachu face. Since then, I only host close friends. We all cook together and clean up together. It’s wonderful. I recommend you try it. Honestly, feeding the ungrateful is not only exhausting, but infuriating.

leswill315 −  Time for a new tradition. I worked with a woman who said her family’s tradition (her, her husband and one son) was to prepare a turkey dinner, close the curtains, lock the doors, have their meal and then retire to watch all the football they wanted to.

She was a teacher’s aid at an elementary school and her husband was the chief of police at the local University. They’d had enough of extended family and wanted to just enjoy the time with the three of them. Sounds like heaven to me.

WrongCase7532 −  Nta. As soon as someone says you are s**fish, respond with “ yea im so s**fish that I alone shop, prep, cook snd clean up” every thanksgiving.

StAlvis −  NTA – I suggested someone else step up, **or** we could split the cost of catering. And cleanup. Don’t forget cleanup costs.
My siblings flipped out, complaining about how it’s “tradition” for me to host.

My mom called me s**fish, and my aunt said I was ruining Thanksgiving for the kids because they “love coming to my house.” And like you said, you’re fine to host. **IF** they pay for the catering. (And cleanup. They should pay for cleanup.)

EducationalRoyal3880 −  It’s always the s**fish people that accuse you of being s**fish. The irony. King, go book yourself a holiday in the Bahamas and give thanks for your holiday

Far-Belt9950 −  NTA, and they know it as well as the rest of the internet does. They’re just perfectly comfortable being assholes to you. You offered reasonable compromises, and not a single person in your family has offered to help. It’s amazing you turned out to be a caring person, given who you’re surrounded by.

Do you think it’s fair for the Redditor to take a stand and refuse to host? Should families be more supportive when someone is handling a big holiday gathering? Share your thoughts below!