AITA for refusing to host my estranged brother’s wedding at my home?

A Redditor shares how their estranged brother, who cut ties years ago over their late parents’ estate, suddenly reached out with a request to host his wedding at the Redditor’s restored family home. Despite years of silence and past insults, the brother wanted the home for its “aesthetic” and to save on venue costs.

When the Redditor declined due to discomfort and boundaries, the brother accused them of being petty, sparking criticism from his fiancée and some relatives. For the full story, read below…

‘ AITA for refusing to host my estranged brother’s wedding at my home?’

My brother and I have been distant for years. He cut ties with me after a disagreement over our late parents’ estate. I inherited the family home, while he received a significant amount of money. At the time, he said he didn’t want anything to do with the house because “it held no sentimental value” to him.

Fast forward to now: I’ve poured years of work and savings into restoring the house. It’s my pride and joy, and I’ve hosted small gatherings here for close friends and family. Out of the blue, my brother reached out, announcing his upcoming wedding and asking to host it at my home.

I was taken aback. This is the same brother who hasn’t spoken to me in years, who insulted me during our last conversation, and who didn’t even invite me to his engagement party. When I asked why he wanted my home, he said it was “perfect for the aesthetic” and would save him money on a venue.

I politely declined, explaining that I didn’t feel comfortable hosting such a big event for someone who’s been out of my life for so long. He exploded, accusing me of being petty and holding onto grudges. Now, his fiancée and even some relatives are calling me selfish, saying I should “move on” for the sake of family. Am I really in the wrong for protecting my space and boundaries?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

pinky_coconut −  NTA. Your home is your sanctuary, and you have the right to decide who is and isn’t welcome. It’s understandable that you wouldn’t want to host a major event for someone who has been distant and disrespectful towards you.

Ok-Maintenance-1730 −  NTA. Your brother can’t just waltz back into your life after years of no contact and expect you to hand over your home for his wedding. It’s completely reasonable to set boundaries, especially given the history and how he treated you. Hosting a wedding is a huge deal, and it’s unfair for him to use “family” as a reason to guilt you into it after being distant for so long.

The fact that he’s more concerned about saving money and “aesthetics” than actually repairing the relationship with you speaks volumes. You’re not being petty, you’re protecting your space and peace. If he truly wanted to mend things, this wouldn’t be the way to start. Stand your ground.

hurtsstreetwalker −  NTA. Your brother abruptly cut off contact and showed no regard for you or the family home. It’s understandable that you’d be hesitant to open up your private space to him, especially given his recent behavior.

BroomRyder31 −  NTA. It’s your home, not a wedding venue. Think about the potential liability issues. Stay strong, and don’t let your brother’s selfish, entitled manipulations get to you.

Lovebug-1055 −  Anyone telling you that you are wrong can host the wedding at their house. Especially if he kept in contact with them and not you. Besides that a wedding at your house would destroy it. Next thing you know he will be asking you to pay for it.

FoxySlyOldStoatyFox −  “I don’t hold a grudge. I just don’t have a relationship with my your fiancée anymore. We haven’t spoken in years, I haven’t thought about him in years. He clearly feels the same, as I was not even invited to your engagement party. Consequently this is no different to if any other stranger asked to hold their wedding in my home; a strange question which would only indicate poor judgement on their part.”

And yes, this reply is for your brother’s fiancé. It’s easier and (I suggest) wiser to have a polite-but-bemused conversation with her as she will presumably be less likely to drag it back to old grudges and arguments. 

Realistic_Wave_6205 −  You will be an AH if you host that s**t.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. The liability alone of an event. Hes being unreasonable. Your home, say no.

Maya2661 −  You shouldn’t “move on for family” who are just exploit you, leech on you and so. Your brother is not family and also nobody how his on his side.. NTA.

juzme99 −  NTA You should move on, Why? He hasn’t apologized, he only reached out because he wants something from you. What does host mean, is he going to make sure house is clean, cater the food, rent seating, make sure the grounds are done, do ALL the work involved in this kind of event, clean up afterwards and put your home to rights.

How invasive would the planning and organizing be. Plus he stated your home has no value for him. No is no. He hasn’t been bothered to reached out to you in years and you can not be bothered now.