AITA for refusing to hang up the artwork my girlfriend got me for my birthday?

A Reddit user shared a story about his girlfriend gifting him a unique piece of artwork for his birthday. The artwork was a print of her body on a canvas, which she created as an intimate and personal gesture. However, the user felt uncomfortable displaying it, especially with the possibility of his parents visiting.

When she found the artwork stored in his closet, she was hurt, claiming he was ungrateful and not embracing their intimacy. Despite her disappointment, he stood by his choice. Was he in the wrong for not wanting to hang up the art? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to hang up the artwork my girlfriend got me for my birthday?’

My (26M) birthday was a few weeks ago. My girlfriend 24 and her friend are into things that I find a little outlandish and weird. I love her and her uniqueness and I appreciate what she does but I do think some of their habits and interests are unusual.

We do not live together. She’s made comments about how I need more artwork and I agreed. She got me artwork. A homemade peace of artwork that she was given the idea through TikTok or something. Her best friend also did the same thing for her boyfriend.

The best I can describe it is like she like made like a print of her ass and legs/thighs on a canvas. It’s like she sat in paint and then sat on the canvas. Or something like that. Honestly, It must have turned out really well because you can clearly tell it’s an ass and legs.

The problem just arose recently because she came over and found the painting in my closet. She asked why it’s not up and I tried to dance around it. I did tell her (the truth) that my parents stop by sometimes and I didn’t want them to see it.

She started telling me that the picture is “beautiful” and I should want to “embrace her” and some more lines about how I should “embrace our intimacy”. I told her that honestly I find it off putting. I think it is weird and borderline creepy. I told her I am very uncomfortable hanging up something like that and if she checked with me first I would have told her.

She asked if I truly wasn’t going to hang it up. I told her no, I will never consider putting that on my walls but I appreciate the thought. She started crying, said I’m an ungrateful a**hole and she took the painting and said she will hang it up at her place.

She said her friends boyfriend loves the one he got so she can’t get why I’m being such a j**k about this. I don’t think im a j**k for not wanting an, albeit artistic, nude of my girlfriend on my walls.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

allkindsoftired −  NTA. That’s the kind of gift you only get someone if they’re 100% into nude artwork and are comfortable with displays of s**ual intimacy. Plus the length of your relationship comes into play here: I wouldn’t want the ass of my gf of 6 months on the wall, but gf of 2 years could be a different story.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. I think you handled it well. Maybe ask if her she could paint something else, that plays into her creativity and still meets your boundaries?

Jerseygirl2468 −  NTA artwork in one’s home is very personal and you shouldn’t have to display something you don’t like – especially when said artwork is just her sitting in paint. I’ve seen that trend, personally I think it’s tacky and stupid, but to each their own. And your opinion is no. Go to a local art fair or etsy or something and find some pieces YOU like.

notthedefaultname −  NTA. I wouldn’t want my partner of over a decades’s body art on any of my walls either. But that art isn’t to my tastes nor would I want my body displayed for randos and strangers to view in someone else’s home.

It might just be that you have very different tastes in artwork and are incompatible in how s**ually explicit you’re willing to have your home decor. The comments about it being creepy would be worse if she hadn’t kept pushing on the issue. If you were polite about it until backed into a corner, it’s somewhat understandable.

I assume your gf was expecting her s**ual vulnerability to be met with a similar appreciation her friend got, and she’s reacting badly because society doesn’t condition women well for the idea that they may be s**ually rejected in any way.

I hadn’t heard of this on TikTok, but my friend has mentioned a similar thing happening on reality shows she watches where they had couples make these paintings together (I don’t watch those but I think it was the Bachelor/Bachlorette?). The concept has always seemed extremely awkward to me, unless you have a really specific art taste.

It seems weird to explicitly display yourself, even in paint form, for whatever guests you have over. And that seems like a really weird thing to decorate around. This also is a terrible gift. She wanted you to have more artwork. She wanted you to respond to her in an appreciatively way. It’s in the same vein as “gifting” wearing lingerie and has a lot of the same issues as that concept does.

Edit: this seems to have some responses that seem a little sexist that people should desire objectifying a woman’s body and think OP should compromise more in some way to display it in his personal space. I think responses would be very different if a guy made a clone-a-willy into the base of a table lamp and his girlfriend didn’t want that on her bedside table or in a small apartment where guests see most of the space.

[Reddit User] −  She’s weird. NTA. If there was a place in your house that guests typically don’t go (master bathroom? Bedroom?) maybe that would be a good spot to hang it up?

But honestly I think it’s weird that she’s upset you won’t hang it up when your parents and any visitors could see it and by the sounds of it, easily tell it’s an ass. Anyone can do what they want with their home decor but I wouldn’t want people to be subjected to that or explain what it is haha

earthenlily −  NTA – Most people do not want intimate or s**ual art displayed in their homes, period. It’s a very specific person who is okay with that. I have friends bringing kids to my house. One day I might display fine life drawing art which are usually nudes, but there’s a big difference between that and a literal ASS PRINT.

Assuming it would be fine and then shaming you for not wanting to display it is not cool on your gf’s part. I understand being upset a gift is not received well, especially a homemade one, but she’s taking it out on you instead of dealing with the feelings herself.

RoyallyOakie −  NTA…Your girlfriend has equated you not liking the painting with you not liking her, when that’s not the case. Surely she knew this kind of art wouldn’t be to your taste, but went ahead anyway.

buttpickles99 −  NTA – of course your NTA for not wanting to put pornography art on your walls. Your gf sounds very immature. No I don’t want your butthole on my walls for my parents to see, wtf.

Wheredotheflapsgo −  I keep seeing this on Reddit over and over. NTA by the way. Person A does something they think is nice or whatever, person B’s boundaries feel crossed and they are both honest about it and fair about it.

Then person A brings out all the a**hole tools. The crying, the “if you loved me you’d do ___” the “I was traumatized or just left a DV situation so you should do what I want”. All the emotional manipulation. All the guilt tripping. I see it with weddings, gifts, parent-child relationships. All the time.

Guys: you are NEVER the AH when you have a mature, reasonable boundary and protect it in a kind and loving way with your SO/family/friends. To everyone out there that manipulates: just stop it! Stop making excuses for guilt trips.

Recognize boundaries and how you are making people feel bad by trying to cross them. Be good humans! Respect others. You don’t have to agree with someone to be respectful. Off my soapbox. Thanks for listening to my Red-Talk

rlrlrlrlrlr −  Art is communication. Why does she think that you need to communicate your intimacy with her to your parents? To anyone and everyone who enters? . That’s pretty basic. Ask why she wants to control you this way.

Do you think he should have displayed the artwork to show appreciation for his girlfriend’s effort, or was he right to set boundaries with his comfort level? How would you handle a gift like this? Share your thoughts below!