AITA for refusing to go to the family road trip if my Aunt’s parents come?
A Reddit user shares their dilemma about refusing to join a family road trip after a past experience of being insulted and belittled by their aunt’s parents during a previous trip. Despite the family urging them to let it go, they remain firm in their decision. Read the full story below to decide if they were justified or overreacting.
‘ AITA for refusing to go to the family road trip if my Aunt’s parents come?’
For context the last time I went out with them I was 9. My parents my sister my grandmas and I went to my uncle’s house for Christmas break and decided to hit a road trip. My parents my grandma and another uncle were in one car with the luggage, and My Uncle, aunt, cousins, sister, aunt’s parents, and I were in another car. It started off great, and me and my cousins brought CDs to watch movies in the car.
We eventually stopped for dinner, and after dinner I asked if I could sit in the middle row and not in the back because I felt a little sick. Keep in mind I had been sitting in the back since the beginning of the trip. My cousin refused because he wanted to see the movie better.
Me and him bickered for a while, and eventually he did move to the back. I sat in the middle between my sister and cousin and we finished the movie and all the kids slept, I closed my eyes, but was awake.
I heard my aunt’s parents call me the B word and say I was torturing their grandson(my cousin). They said I was raised terribly, and that I couldn’t adjust for anything. My aunt agreed and said I made her son cry. My uncle tried to change the topic but they kept talking trash about me. Eventually we stopped at a gas station and my mom gave me some cotton because I don’t do well in Elevation.
Later I heard my aunt’s parents say my mom was the b word for bumping into my cousin while giving me cotton. She didn’t and then they said she only cared about me because she inly gave me cotton, and doesn’t like my cousins.
She didn’t give my sister cotton either, she gave them to me because I requested them. Then they called her fat and overweight. She is not obese, she is a bit chubby but definitely not obese. It really hurt but I stayed quiet.
Then we went to the air BnB which was a barn house. My dad had booked it, when my uncle stepped out to make sure this was the one, my aunt started complaining. She said this place was for animals, cause its a barn house.
I wanted to yell “why don’t you book it next time” but I stayed quiet. I eventually told my dad about the rude comments after he found me crying in my bed. He talked to my uncle and aunt privately.
Now we are going on another trip 8 years later, my aunt is nice now but her parents are still the same. I refuse to go after the way my aunt’s parents behaved, but the rest of my family says I am dramatic, and am ruining the christmas vacation. SO AITA
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
CleanPerspective2345 − NTA. It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to go on the trip. Those people were jerks, and you don’t have to put yourself through that. Your family might not get it, but you know what’s best for you.
DangerousAd1986 − NTA go and make them miserable. Sounds like you’re old enough to speak up for yourself now, so call them out on all their b**lshit all week. In front of everyone. When they finally snap tell them this is exactly why I didn’t want to spend my Christmas with them. Or stand your ground and don’t go.
Mindless-Pangolin841 − INFO: If you don’t go, will that mean others won’t be able to go? Also, what is “giving you cotton” and how does it relate to elevation?
Fresh_Process6822 − NTA. I understand not wanting to be around people who spoke so awfully about you and your parents. That said, is there a way to go and remain distant from your aunt’s parents? If your whole family is going, it would be sad for your parents and sister not to have you with them for the holidays. It may be sad for you, too. 💗
SpockJenkinsTOS − NTA. There is no reson an adult should feel pressured to associate with a person or persons that they don’t like. Your reason for not liking them does not need to be approved by anyone.
It is your responsability to be courteous when declining the event/trip, but you owe no explanation as to why. An adult stating “thank you but I prefer not to attend” is a sufficient explanation, and in polite society, pressuring you to give a reason for approval by <person who has no business questioning your private thought is not acceptable.
This is how a reasonable, drama-free society operates, and we would save so much time and emotional energy if we reverted back to acting like mature adults. Be polite, mind your own business, stay out of matters that do not need your input. That’s why we had enough time to do things like balance our checkbooks by hand. We weren’t emulating a reality tv show.
slendermanismydad − These kind of trips are ridiculous for adults. Eight or nine people in one van is asking for everyone to be uncomfortable and fight.
wlfwrtr − NTA You have no obligation to be around people who not only disrespected you but also your mother. They should look at the type of people they are, people who degrade other people behind their backs. Does mom know what was said?
octropos − INFO: Can you insist on traveling *only* in your parents car with them? That seems like that would fix at least half of this. If you’re going to go, that would be the compromise.
PomegranateOk6767 − No way, your aunt’s parents can get wrecked. Remember this when they call you dramatic: no one on their deathbed looks back and wishes they ate more s**t. Best of luck to you. NTA.
Individual_Metal_983 − NTA this is a consequence of them b**lying a child.. Now you have a say.
Do you think the Redditor’s decision to avoid the trip was reasonable, given their past experience, or should they have let bygones be bygones for the sake of family unity? How would you handle being around people who have disrespected you or your loved ones? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below!