AITA for refusing to go on vacation with a newborn?

For years, a 28-year-old man and his 27-year-old girlfriend have cherished an annual vacation tradition with her older sister and her boyfriend—whether it’s skiing, exploring national parks, or hiking and camping in the Rockies. Their trips are purposefully affordable and deeply meaningful, built on shared interests and careful budgeting.

Recently, however, everything shifted when her sister announced her pregnancy. With plans now being discussed for a vacation (in Costa Rica, no less) that would take place when the baby would only be a few months old, the man finds himself overwhelmed by the prospect of traveling with a newborn.

In a family discussion that quickly turned heated, he proposed a safer, more affordable alternative—a short weekend trip close to home in a small camper—only to be met with what he perceives as selfishness and an overemphasis on family obligations. Now he’s questioning whether his refusal to fund an expensive, high-risk vacation is unreasonable. Read the full story below!

‘AITA for refusing to go on vacation with a newborn?’

Expert Opinions:

Pediatrician’s Take on Newborn Travel
Dr. Laura Jana, pediatrician and author, warns: “Infants under 6 months are highly vulnerable to infections and environmental stressors. High-altitude travel can affect oxygen levels, and long flights expose them to germs. Even ‘easy’ trips disrupt feeding/sleep routines, which are critical for development.”

Financial Dynamics in Group Travel
Financial advisor Paco de Leon notes: “When one party can’t afford a trip without others’ subsidies, resentment festers. Transparent budgeting and equitable contributions are non-negotiable. ‘Tradition’ shouldn’t override financial boundaries.”

Family Obligations vs. Boundaries
Dr. Jane Adams, family psychologist, explains: “New parents often overestimate their capacity to maintain pre-baby routines. Well-meaning family may enable this denial, but supporting unrealistic expectations harms everyone. Adapting traditions shows maturity, not weakness.”

Communication in Relationships
Relationship coach Esther Perel advises: “Partners must align on priorities. Dismissing valid concerns as ‘cold feet’ erodes trust. Compromise isn’t surrender—it’s collaboration. A shorter trip honors both the tradition and the new reality.”

Risk Assessment for Outdoor Adventures
Outdoor safety expert Ryan Jordan stresses: “Hiking during elk rutting season or driving icy mountain roads with a newborn is reckless. Even seasoned adventurers adjust plans for infants. Safety isn’t negotiable.”

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users weighing in on this dilemma are split between traditional family expectations and practical concerns. Many argue that it is entirely reasonable not to subject a newborn—and oneself—to an expensive, high-stress trip, especially when safer, more affordable alternatives exist.

Some commenters point out that if the roles were reversed, a parent would also insist on a less taxing arrangement for the sake of the baby’s health. Others note that family trips should be a collective decision and that financial input should never be the sole factor in determining travel plans.

Overall, the community largely supports the idea that protecting the baby’s well-being and keeping vacations enjoyable is more important than adhering to a tradition that now poses increased risks and expenses.

This AITA post spotlights the complex crossroads where cherished family traditions meet the realities of traveling with a newborn. While the couple’s annual vacation has long been a source of joy and bonding, the impending challenges of flying and traveling with a very young infant introduce genuine safety, financial, and emotional concerns.

Expert opinions and community insights both underline the importance of negotiating boundaries that protect the well-being of all involved—especially the most vulnerable. Ultimately, while family obligations are important, they should not force anyone to compromise on safety or personal comfort. The decision to opt for a closer, more manageable trip appears to be a reasonable, thoughtful compromise.

What do you think?
Have you ever had to modify a long-standing family tradition for the sake of a newborn’s safety? How do you balance family expectations with practical concerns when planning a vacation? Share your experiences and insights in the comments below.