AITA for refusing to go on a “family outing” when my husband agreed to take his niece?

A Reddit user shares her frustration over her sister-in-law (SIL) and her husband who are staying at her home while transitioning to a new house. For the past month, she’s been left to care for their 9-year-old daughter almost every day, feeling manipulated into babysitting without any reciprocation.

After a series of one-sided outings, she finally set boundaries, telling her SIL that she wouldn’t be taking the girl with her anymore. However, when her husband agreed to take his niece on a surprise trip to a water park, she felt disrespected and decided to take her own kids elsewhere, leaving her husband behind. Now, she’s questioning whether she overreacted in the situation. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to go on a “family outing” when my husband agreed to take his niece?’

My SIL (husband’s sister), her husband and their kid (9) are staying with us until SILs new home becomes available in September but she’s been here for a month. SIL works nearly everyday and her husband is gone most days too. So, I have their daughter every day. Even when they are home they are pawning their kid off on me.

I have to sneak out of my house because if not, I’m cornered and manipulated in to taking their child. But the same offer isn’t extended when they go out to do something.. like we went to an amusement park 2 weeks ago and SIL guilt tripped my husband so severely that he almost called the whole trip off but eventually caved and just bought his niece a ticket and brought her too.

The next day, SIL and them took off for a different amusement park and told my kids no because they just wanted to hang out with their kid. So it’s one sided expectations.
So I told my SIL on Friday that I wouldn’t be taking their kid with me anymore. I was taking my kids on a walk and she insisted my niece go. That’s how the conversation was sparked.

I told her from now on, unless I physically invited the child, she would not be coming with me and she also needed to arrange child care because I wasn’t watching her kid anymore. I’m just over it. It’s bad enough she’s here without paying rent so to expect free childcare on top of that is wildly e**itled.

She said she was sorry and that she “only figured it would give the kids someone to hang out with”. Manipulation at its finest (if you knew her, you’d understand). Well, my husband arranged for us to go to a new water park that just opened up on Saturday. It was a surprise to the kids (they didn’t know at all).

As I’m getting all our stuff ready, in walks his niece with her bathing suit and a bag. I ask my husband what’s going on and he said “my sister heard us talking last night and begged me to take Chloe”. I honestly just started unpacking and said “you guys have fun then”. I wasn’t mean about it. More like defeated.

He asked what I was doing and I said “I’m done. I will take my kids elsewhere. Go have a day with your niece.” He says I’m an AH because it’s “not that big of a deal” but it absolutely is to me. This kid doesn’t listen whatsoever and has the same entitlement that her mother does. I’m not dealing with it anymore.

I took my kids to the beach for the day and refused to listen to my husband begging me to just “get over it”. When SIL came home I told her she had a week to leave (it’s my home, bought it long before I met my husband). I’m done with being disrespected. They all think I’m some sort of heartless cunt now.

Lets dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Dazzling_Note6245 −  NTA. Your husband isn’t the one who has had to do all the extra work and put up with their bad attitudes. Try your best to explain how bad they have all treated you and taken you for granted. I hope your husband gets it! Plus the fact sil went behind your back and asked your husband without you after you told her no more! That’s manipulation.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Your husband needs to buy a backbone

lianavan −  Seems like you have a husband problem too.

darkgothamite −  SIL works nearly everyday and her husband is gone most days too. So, I have their daughter every day. Even when they are home they are pawning their kid off on me.. I’m already infuriated. SIL and them took off for a different amusement park and told my kids no because they just wanted to hang out with their kid.. What the hell is this!

And your husband has been playing along with this bs?. Keep their child out of your home. Babysitting for free, every corner you turn there she is. He asked what I was doing and I said “I’m done. I will take my kids elsewhere. Go have a day with your niece.”. NTA. He should declare her on his taxes too.

Dreamking0311 −  He needs to tell your husband why is it okay for them to leave your kids out to spend time with just them but when you want to do the same with your kids it’s not okay in that you’re an a**hole? Sounds like your husband doesn’t give a s**t about his kids.

tattoovamp −  Your sister-in-law couldn’t get what she wanted out of you, so she manipulated your husband. While I agree with you on kicking them out, you need to tackle your husband problem next.

museum_one −  Usually I’d say you were wrong but in this case with all the disrespect you’ve put up with from the sister in law and husband you’re a better person than me!! You did the right thing and putting your sister in law out was long overdue I’m guessing! NTA but your husband and sister in law are definitely TAH

Armyman125 −  And why is the OP’s husband buying tickets for his niece? So I guess SIL expected them to also finance her daughter’s fun? OP nta.

BoycottRedditAds2 −  The biggest issue is your husband not having your back.

Bhimtu −  NTA -Your SIL is a real piece of work. And your husband doesn’t see how inequitably she treats HIS kids vs her kid? Yeah, e**itled and s**tty.