AITA for refusing to give up my office for my father-in-law?

A Reddit user (31F) shared a dilemma about balancing work and family when her father-in-law (62M) had surgery and asked to stay with her and her husband. While the user is willing to help, her husband and father-in-law are asking her to give up her office space so Jim can have a room of his own while he recovers. The user works from home, and her office is vital to her productivity.

She offered the guest room instead, but her husband insists it should remain ready for guests. Now, her husband is upset, and Jim is hinting that she’s being selfish. Was the user wrong to refuse to give up her office, or should she have prioritized family needs? Read the full story below to decide for yourself.

‘ AITA for refusing to give up my office for my father-in-law?’

Here’s the thing. I (31F) work from home, and one of our three bedrooms is set up as my office. My husband (33M) and I don’t have kids yet, so the other two rooms are used as a guest room and storage. Everything’s been working fine until recently when my father-in-law (62M), Jim, had surgery and asked to stay with us while he heals.

Now, I’m all for helping family, but here’s where things went sideways. My husband and his dad want me to give up my office so Jim can have his own space. They’re saying I can just work from the living room or kitchen for a few months while he’s here.

But here’s the problem!!!!! my office is more than just a room. It’s where I spend most of my day, working long hours, and everything in there is set up for my job. Moving all my stuff to a shared space would mess with my productivity and focus. I offered to let Jim take the guest room instead, but my husband insists that room needs to stay ready for guests, in case his family visits.

My husband’s upset with me, and Jim’s been hinting that I’m being selfish. AITA for refusing to give up my office for my father-in-law?!!!

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Parking_Laugh_ −  You literally have a guest bedroom. He is going to be a guest in your home for the next few months until he heals unless he secretly plans on moving in with you. Even if thats the case you have a room thats already ready for him. Dont give up your office.

3littlepixies −  “No. This is also my home. This room IS my office. There are other bedrooms I might be willing to help you set up if the pair of you stop being asses.” Otherwise, husband can go stay at dad’s and take care of him. That’s what he probably needs. “And since you’re home and it’s not really like working, you can help!” (That’s coming next).

N4ughtysha −  NTA. Your office is where you make a living, not just a “spare room.” Your husband shouldn’t put a fictitious visitor ahead of your daily requirements and output. Given that the guest room is already set aside for entertaining, it makes sense to offer it to your father-in-law. Setting boundaries to balance supporting your family and preserving your capacity for productive work is not selfishness.

yummytenderloin −  That’s an easy one to settle. Have your husband pay for you to be in an office outside of the house. Have it come out of his money. See if that changes his opinion. He is being very selfish.

Turbulent_Ebb5669 −  How many guests do you have in a year? and Jim should shut up and let the people willing to let him move in sort it between just them.

KrofftSurvivor −  NTA –  Tell your Dh to go stay with FIL in his own home during this recuperation time, because FIL will heal faster and be more comfortable in his own home.  He will give you every objection except the truth – . This isn’t temporary! He’s moving FIL in, and you lose your office because YOU have been appointed Jin’s caregiver – congratulations!

Put a stop to this ASAP, because there’s only one reason a guest can’t use the guest room – He’s not a guest, and HIS guests will also be your responsibility – which is why you can’t have an office making it look like you aren’t a dutiful daughter-in-law. Put a locking doorknob on your office, and hide the key.

Sweet-Interview5620 −  NTA tell him clearly your FIL is a guest and you are not moving your office and inconveniencing your work just so the guest room can look pretty whilst it’s empty. It’s the damn guest room and that’s where your FIL wil, be staying or he won’t be staying her at all. So he can choose if he’s staying in the guest room or not at all because otherwise he will be paying far more for a separation.

StructureKey2739 −  NTA. What do you want to bet that your FIL will NEVER LEAVE. At 62 he’s near retirement age. He and your husband may figure “Well, he might as well stay”. And if you put your office in a main living area for sure they’ll be interrupting you, making noise, putting on the TV FULL BLAST. They may even demand that you take your office out of “their home”. It’ll be two against one, so the odds are against you.

BeautifulParamedic55 −  Jim IS a guest, ergo, use the guest room. Agree with the other comment that you will get roped into helping cause youre home and “not that busy,”.

themcp −  I offered to let Jim take the guest room instead, but my husband insists that room needs to stay ready for guests, in case his family visits. “Guests… LIKE YOUR FATHER RECOVERING?” If it was “this is my ‘office’ where I go to relax alone sometimes and play video games or surf the net and type on reddit,” I’d say you should give it up. However, it sounds like it’s not just your “office,” it’s your OFFICE where you do your JOB.

If that’s the case, put your foot down and tell husband that no way in hell are you giving up your work space, that you’re happy to see FIL in the guest room but no, your office is your job and can’t be given away willy nilly just because husband doesn’t respect your work, and that if there are any emergency guests while FIL is there recovering they will have to sleep in the living room or the kitchen.