AITA for refusing to give my younger cousin my college fund because she “needs it more”?

A 24-year-old woman is approached by her aunt and uncle, asking her to give her younger cousin, who dropped out of college, the remaining funds from her college savings. The woman explains that she plans to use this money for her future, having already worked hard to graduate on time.

Her cousin and her parents are upset, accusing her of being selfish for not helping. The woman stands her ground, insisting it’s not her responsibility to support her cousin’s education. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to give my younger cousin my college fund because she “needs it more”?’

I (24F) graduated college two years ago, thanks in large part to a college fund that my parents had been saving for me since I was little. I feel incredibly fortunate for that, and I worked hard to make the most of it by getting good grades and finishing on time.

My younger cousin (20F), on the other hand, dropped out of college last year after failing a few courses. Now she’s planning to go back, but the issue is that she used up a good chunk of her own college fund during her first attempt.

Recently, my aunt and uncle (her parents) came to me and asked if I’d be willing to give my cousin what’s left of my college fund to help her go back. I had some money left over because I got a scholarship during my last year, so there’s still a decent amount sitting in that account. I told them that I wasn’t comfortable doing that.

I’ve been saving that leftover money for grad school or maybe to put towards a house one day, and I don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to give it up just because she didn’t finish school the first time. Now, my cousin and her parents are upset with me.

My cousin says she “needs it more” and that I’m being s**fish for not helping her out when I had my entire education paid for. My aunt and uncle think I should give her the money because “it’s just sitting there,” and they don’t want her to take out loans.

I get that student loans are tough, but I worked hard for my degree and saved that money for my future. I don’t think I should be guilted into giving it up. AITA for refusing to give my cousin the rest of my college fund?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – If the account isn’t just in your name, make sure whoever else is on it knows you said no, You don’t even have to give a reason. Better yet if you can, transfer it to your own savings.

demon803 −  NTA, no participation trophies in real life, she needs to put on her big girl pants and figure life out. The fact that her parents coddled her and let her get away with stuff and want you to make it all better says a lot about them also.

Malibu_Cola −  NTA. Your family is. I can’t believe the entitlement of some people! It’s YOUR money. You do with it as you see fit.

HapkiLady −  NTA. Don’t do it. My two daughters both had college funds. One went to an in-state school, did lots of dual credit in high school and has half of her account left. The other went out of state tuition and will take the entire 4 years. She will not have anything left. Their choices.

Ok_Conversation9750 −  “My aunt and uncle think I should give her the money because “it’s just sitting there,” and they don’t want her to take out loans. Well, their retirement/savings account is just sitting there, too, so they can help out *their own kid*. NTA,

ReviewOk929 −  and asked if I’d be willing to give my cousin what’s left of my college fund to help her go back. NTA – That’s her and her parents responsibility, not yours. You’ve legitimate reasons for saving the money, grad school etc, and shouldn’t be guilted into it. What do your parents have to say about this as well???

Apart-Ad-6518 −  NTA 100%. I worked hard to make the most of it by getting good grades and finishing on time. My younger cousin…dropped out of college last year after failing a few courses.. So you both made a choice. she used up a good chunk of her own college fund during her first attempt.. That’s *her* issue

I don’t think I should be guilted into giving it up. No you absolutely shouldn’t. Don’t give up the money. It isn’t just “sitting” there. It’s for *your* future. If they don’t want her to take out loans they can fund her. It’s not difficult to see where her attitude comes from.

Round_Butterfly2091 −  It’s astonishing that they even asked you for that much money. This is money that you managed to save thanks to doing so well in school. Your cousin had the same opportunities, but she squandered her chances. Your aunt and uncle don’t want to take out a loan? That’s too bad. Their daughter and her missteps are your cousins responsibility, not yours.

Jaded-Permission-324 −  NTA. Your cousin and her parents sound like grifters, and I wouldn’t give them a cent if I were you.

lawfox32 −  NTA. You *earned* a scholarship, and that means you saved some of the fund set aside for your future to use for further education or a home. If your aunt and uncle don’t want your cousin to have to take out loans, they can give her more money. Or…she can apply to scholarships.

ETA: She could also start at community college, earn some transferable credits and make sure this attempt sticks, and then transfer to a four-year college for the remaining semesters, which would cost a lot less than starting over and doing all four years.

It’s tough when family expectations clash with personal goals and responsibilities. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!