AITA for refusing to give my coworker my only early shift day?
A Redditor shares their struggle with a coworker who repeatedly asks to swap shifts, culminating in a request to take all the early shifts permanently.
The refusal stems from the Redditor’s own responsibilities as a parent, sparking a conflict over balancing personal needs and helping others. Read the full story below for the detailed breakdown of this workplace dilemma.
‘ AITA for refusing to give my coworker my only early shift day? ‘
I work four closing shifts and one early day, while my coworker works four early days and one late shift. She has tried to change my early days for a while, and I have tried to accommodate her schedule multiple times, as she has to rush home to care for her daughter while her husband works night shifts, and they have no family help for childcare.
I told her already that I wasn’t going to change my days anymore, as I have things to do as well and have a toddler myself. Recently, she came to me and said she needed my early day. I thought she wanted to change my early day to a different one so she could get home on time.
But she told me she wanted to work only early shifts, meaning she wanted my early day and for me to have closing shifts Monday through Friday. I told her no, but then she explained that her husband’s job asked him to work an extra day, and if he didn’t, he was going to get fired.
Essentially, if I don’t change my days, her husband will end up without a job, and she might have to rent her house to afford living if that happens. I have a kid myself and no family to help, so I had to resort to daycare. Am I in the wrong for saying no to accommodate her needs?
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
OhmsWay-71 − NTA. Her situation sucks for her, but that does not mean that you have to sacrifice anything. I would speak to my supervisor immediately and let them know you are not willing to change shifts at all with her anymore and if she continues to harass you about it you will need them to help you and step in.
I would absolutely say that I would prefer all the morning shifts I can get, but I am certainly not willing to give up the one a week that I do have. She will 100% go over your head and try and get her way. Get in front of it.
tosser9212 − She rushes home to care for her daughter, and you have to use day care. Her household has two incomes, yours just one.
If we’re looking at fair and equitable here, I’d be asking her to give me a day or two each week.. NTA. Keep saying no.
CandylandCanada − NTA. Her premise is flawed: you are in no way responsible for the status of her husband’s employment. You can be sure that if you fall for her story this time, then there will be more unreasonable demands and unsubstantiated claims.
Pale_Luck_3720 − NTA. You are not responsible for managing your co-worker’s life. (That’s her and her husband’s job.) You are not responsible to ensure coverage for all the shifts at work. (That is your manager’s job.) You’ve been kind and helpful this far. Don’t become a doormat
BeMandalorTomad − NTA, Also, her problem sounds fake to me. Depending on where you live, it could be illegal for her husband’s job to force him to change his availability or fire him without cause.
My guess is she’s tired of trying to politely ask you to switch with her bc it wasn’t working every single time, so now she’s trying to force you to give her the shifts she wants by making you feel bad for her.
Bunny_Bixler99 − “Essentially, if I don’t change my days, her husband will end up without a job, and she might have to rent her house to afford living if that happens.”. NTA. If a family’s entire lifestyle is jeopardized because you won’t give up a dayshift, then they’ve got bigger problems on their hands.
AgitatedDot9313 − No NTA. But i would be going to your boss and asking for more early days on the premise that its uneven currently, as that should balance out the fact that she will be running to the boss next to try and weasle your shift that way. Good luck
KaliTheBlaze − NTA. It sucks that they have no family help, but if this extra shift for her husband is a one-off, babysitters exist. Yes, of course it sucks to have to shell out for them to cover work overlaps like this, but she has an alternative to expecting you to always accommodate her.
alien_overlord_1001 − NTA. Why is she talking to you? She should be going to the management of your workplace and asking if they can accommodate her needs. It’s not up to you to fix this problem.
WildSofii − NTA. You’ve already accommodated her multiple times, and it’s not fair for her to expect you to give up your only early shift permanently. You have your own responsibilities and needs, and her family’s situation, while unfortunate, isn’t your burden to carry. Boundaries are important.
Do you think the Redditor was justified in prioritizing their own needs, or should they have made the sacrifice for their coworker’s difficult situation? How would you balance compassion and fairness in a workplace like this? Share your perspectives in the comments below!