AITA for refusing to feed my sister’s kids for free every day?

A junior sous-chef (25M) helped his sister (37F) by babysitting her three picky-eating kids. He cleverly got them to eat veggies, a struggle for their parents, and was later asked to prepare meals for them daily. When he requested compensation for time and expenses,

his sister insisted he should do it out of familial duty. He feels it’s an unreasonable demand, while she sees it as him refusing to help his nieces and nephews. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for refusing to feed my sister’s kids for free every day?’

My older sister (37F) has 3 kids under 10. I (25M) don’t have kids yet but I’m a junior sous-chef and I cook a lot in my spare time. During some recent time off from work my sister asked if I could babysit her kids after school for three days. I said yes. I watched the kids.

She paid me for it and I thought that would be it. But then she asked me what the kids ate with me after the week had ended and then she wanted to know how I got her kids to eat a full meal. Her kids are picky eaters.

They are typically the kids who will eat what they like off a plate (meat and potatoes, rice or noodles) and then leave the rest (veggies, sauces). According to my sister and BIL,

even if you give more veggies than something else they won’t eat them and they’ll wait until their next meal and if you give all veggies or insist they eat the veggies before anything else, they’ll skip the meal.

I sorta knew that about them before I babysat so I blended veggies and other good stuff into their dinner the first day with me and the second day I served them but I did them but hid them in plain sight and on the last day I just served them in a way they don’t get them normally and because they knew they had them they ate them without an issue.

But they wouldn’t eat them for my sister or BIL after. There was some back and forth between us and I shared some recipes but my sister said she couldn’t get them to eat the food. So she wanted me to make food for her kids every day.

I asked if she was going to pay me for spending all that time and money and she told me I should do it as a way to help my nieces and nephews stay healthy. I told her it’s a big ask. She told me I have the chance to really help and put my skills to good use for family.

I feel like it’s asking a lot because they expect me to make something every day for the kids. But my sister feels like I’m being a bad brother and uncle.. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

MrsNobodyspecial67 −  NTA. Does your sister know how much food costs? If she wants to buy the food and bring it over, and provide the disposable to go boxes then I think you should do it. I cook for people all the time for free, but they pay for the food. If you enjoy it, it gives you experience. But only if she pays for the food and costs associated with it.

thick-standards90 −  So she’s willing to pay you to watch them, but won’t pay you to feed them? That math ain’t mathen. NTA.

Discount_Mithral −  NTA. Has she seen how expensive a bag of groceries is lately?! And she wants you to increase your grocery spending by three-fold for free?! Not only that, but your time and effort to cook a nice meal should be compensated.

I used to work service industry, I know a lot of cooks that ate like garbage at home because they spent all day cooking for other people, so the last thing they wanted to do when they got home was cook more food.

It’s close to the holidays, I might offer to either spend time with her teaching her how to cook or getting her some cooking lessons so she can mimic the meals you made for her kids. Clearly the kids like the veggies when cooked a specific way.

(My mom used to just boil brussels sprouts; I HATED them as a kid. I finally had them roasted as an adult and thought – why couldn’t they have been like this? I would have eaten them more often!)

Dry-Fortune-6724 −  This is ridiculous. The kids won’t eat the food sister makes because the kids KNOW they will get “something” AND dessert, even if they don’t eat the “yuckie” food. They need to learn better parenting skills.

SmartQuokka −  They want to offload not only the cost but the food prep labour onto you.. NTA
Helping family is an occasional babysitting or taking the kids out for the day to the local fair, not being a long term personal chef, on your dime.

Glad_Bobcat92 −  NTA Sounds like your sister is trying to leverage your relationship with her to get a favor. You are totally justified to ask for groceries to be covered and your time to be paid for. Otherwise, they’re really just trying to get free groceries

000ps-Crow_No −  Also she and her husband can just learn to cook & model good eating behavior instead of focusing on the kids’ eating vegetables-the kids likely feel pressured & resistant whereas with you it was no pressure & a pleasant dining experience.

My niblings love to eat at my house bc I don’t make the whole meal about getting them to eat, and try to involve them in the process where possible, and I eat the same food with them. Tell sister to check out “Kids Eat In Color” for tons of other info on picky eaters.

1568314 −  Don’t let her delude you into thinking an unpaid personal chef is something her children are entitled to. This isn’t even like her asking you to give them free haircuts because you’re a stylist. She’s asking you to take on a whole-ass part-time job so she doesn’t have to put effort into getting her kids to eat healthy.

You can be sure that while she’s telling you it’s no big deal, she’s dreaming about all the time she’s going to have because she doesn’t have to cook dinner anymore. The time saved on dishes alone!

You did more than enough by teaching her kids that healthy meals can taste good and giving her recipes. She can drag her b**t to your kitchen and roll up her sleeves if she’s serious about getting her kids to eat better. NTA

Dominique-Gleeful −  Nta they aren’t your kids or your problem. SHE chose to have them SHE can feed them.

llama_llama_48213 −  I am in no way undermining OP’s professional skill. But sister could easily look up on Google different ways to present veggies to kids. There are blogs and books devoted to this topic. Rather than guilting her sister about putting her skills to good use for the family, da$m, ask OP for advice.

Is it fair for him to be expected to cook daily without payment? Share your thoughts below!