AITA for refusing to cook for my family three nights a week unless my parents take kid bathroom duty off my chore list?
A 16-year-old boy enjoys cooking and has been doing it for his family since he learned from his grandparents. When his parents asked him to cook three nights a week instead of one, he said he would only agree if they took him off the chore of cleaning the shared kids’ bathroom.
The bathroom, used by his younger siblings, is often left in an awful state, with period products improperly disposed of, dirty toilets, and messy showers. He finds it disgusting and hates cleaning it.
However, his parents refused to remove that chore, saying his siblings won’t clean properly and they don’t want to do it themselves. Frustrated, he refused to cook more meals, but his parents argue he doesn’t have the right to make conditions. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for refusing to cook for my family three nights a week unless my parents take kid bathroom duty off my chore list?’
My parents don’t really like cooking or any kind of meal prep. They cook and stuff but they’ve always hated it so much. While I (16m) like cooking, love it even, and baking. I started to enjoy it 3 years ago when my grandparents started taking me and my younger siblings (14f, 13f, 10m, 8m) after in person learning came back post-Covid.
My grandparents love to cook so it was fun and cool to learn from them and I picked up some recipes from them. When my parents heard this they added cooking 1 night a week once you’re 13 to the list. I liked it because I enjoy my cooking more than my parents. Probably because I don’t hate every second of cooking so I pay more attention.
My family preferred it too. Especially my siblings. My sisters do not like cooking and our parents stopped the rule when both of them turned out to make s**tty food. They didn’t want to come home from work to eat bad food.
They knew my sisters hated cooking too so they knew they wouldn’t want to do better and my parents didn’t blame them since they hate it. So my parents told me they wanted me to take over cooking 3 nights a week. I told them I wanted them to drop my chore of kid bathroom chore for the extra nights cooking chore.
The bathroom I share with my siblings is gross and disgusting. My parents let so much awful stuff fly with them in there because nobody else uses it but I’m supposed to make sure it’s clean and ugh.
I’m talking my sisters not disposing of their period pads well and sometimes leaving them, marks being left on the toilet seat, s**t left in the toilet, all kinds of stuff in the shower. And one of my brothers pisses all over the place at night when he’s half asleep so extra gross.
My parents never try to anything about it but I hate cleaning that bathroom. I never want to use it. Sometimes I ask my best friends family if I can use theirs (they live right next door) because it’s better.
My parents refused to drop that because they know my siblings won’t clean it good and they don’t want to do it either. So I said no to cooking three nights. My parents said I don’t make the rules as the kid and I told them I refuse to take on more when I have the worst job in the house.. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Comfortable-Sea-2454 − NTA. The bathroom I share with my siblings is gross and disgusting. My parents let so much awful stuff fly with them in there because nobody else uses it but I’m supposed to make sure it’s clean and ugh.
**I’m talking my sisters not disposing of their period pads well and sometimes leaving them, marks being left on the toilet seat, s**t left in the toilet, all kinds of stuff in the shower. And one of my brothers pisses all over the place at night when he’s half asleep so extra gross.** My parents never try to anything about it but I hate cleaning that bathroom.
I never want to use it. Sometimes I ask my best friends family if I can use theirs (they live right next door) because it’s better. What you are saying is that your siblings act like pigs and your parents don’t do anything about it!! My parents refused to drop that because they know my siblings won’t clean it good and they don’t want to do it either.
So I said no to cooking three nights. My parents said I don’t make the rules as the kid and I told them I refuse to take on more when I have the worst job in the house. Your parents aren’t doing your siblings any favors for not forcing them to do chores, even n**ty chores.
If your siblings make the mess then they should have to clean it up and your parents should force this, by standing by and watching if necessary. Worst case you have two more years of this then you can leave home and never look back. Then your parents are going to be in a pickle. Would it be possible for you to go live with your grandparents???
imamage_fightme − NTA and anyone giving any ruling otherwise is out of their mind. Yes, parents make rules. But these parents are *not* being parents. Who the f**k calls themselves a parent while allowing their children to live in literal filth in their bathroom.
I understand having the kids clean it – but the parents still need to oversee that it is being done properly and enforcing the cleaning done correctly if it is not. The fact that they just allow the bathroom to stay filthy is disgusting. You don’t get to pick and choose as a parent, you take on the whole job when you become a parent.
It seems like they are happy to sit back and let *you* do the stuff they don’t want to do, like extra cooking and cleaning up after their dirty kids. Nope. That’s on *them*.
External-Hamster-991 − NTA. Your parents are unfortunately lazy people who don’t seem to want to be bothered with actual parenting. They depend on you and demand the fruits of your labor, but they won’t protect you in any way and force you to pick up the slack for siblings with no respect for themselves or their own environment.
If they are not aware of it, I think you should let your grandparents know how things are at home, and the situation you are in over there. Just in case your parents get too crazy in trying to force you to be their chef, as well as their janitor.
(Malicious compliance would allow for doing both the bathroom and the cooking at the same time and maybe not washing your hands too well as you go back and forth. But that would be gross). They can ground you or take away your stuff, but your parents simply can’t force you to make them *good* food.
You can cook them terrible, tasteless food if you want to. You can make sandwiches for two nights a week. Or hot dogs and bland white rice. Boiled chicken and canned carrots over dry spaghetti. Ingredients that are perfectly fine on their own, paired weirdly and made with no seasoning or sauce, no love.
If you do use seasoning, make it taste terrible. You just have to eat elsewhere during the day to make up for not eating well at home. Only make good food that YOU LIKE.
You only have two years until you can leave. Get an after school job and start saving so you can move out the second you’re ready.
They can be stuck in a disgusting home with no good food when you’re gone. But definitely do the absolute bare minimum you need to do to get by until then. They don’t deserve your yummy food.
SigSauerPower320 − NTA. Your parents are out of their minds. A 13 year old cooking meals for the entire family?… Nope!! When you’re a kid, cleaning your room, helping keep the house clean, doing your own laundry, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow… Those are the things teens should be doing around the house. Cooking meals for the entire family is a parent job.
Equal-Brilliant2640 − Stop cooking for everyone. Tell your parents “until you do YOUR job of being a parent, I will no longer be doing YOUR job. I didn’t give birth to my siblings nor was I involved in their conception” I hate to say this, but you may need to get a teacher involved or child services. That should be a last resort but it might be necessary. That bathroom is a biohazard
Psychologically_gray − NTA and tell your parents if they don’t want to take care of their kids cps will because what your describing is n**lect plain and simple! Reading this made me so mad my stomach hurts…
MerlinBiggs − NTA. Stand your ground. Or, you only cook for the siblings that clean up after themselves.
AymieGrace − I don’t know how this hasn’t been said sooner. Take pictures of the bathroom. Take them to your high school counselor They are a mandated reporter. Any teacher is, if you feel more comfortable with that relationship. They will call CPS, which will ensure your parents take care of their home to a level appropriate for their dependents.
curlyq9702 − NTA – and I just realized how you can “comply” with their rules. For cooking. Ok. Cook for them 3x a week. Burn their food. Make sure yours is fine. Let them know that you were too tired cleaning up YOUR mess in the bathroom & lost track of THEIR food.
For the bathroom: take all of YOUR stuff out of it. Only bring it in when you use it. Then none of your mess is in there. Then stop cleaning it except to spray shower cleaner in the shower. When your parents get on you about it, tell them that 1) none of your stuff is in there, it’s all your siblings’ stuff &
2) you are cleaning up after yourself, the others are old enough to clean up after themselves & your sisters are gross. Your mother needs to do better teaching them how to clean that stuff up.
Do you think the 16-year-old is justified in setting boundaries, or should he take on the extra cooking without negotiating? How should the family address the issue with the bathroom? Share your thoughts in the comments!
