AITA for refusing to clean up my wifes puke?

A Redditor shares a dilemma about refusing to clean up his wife’s vomit after a Halloween party left her with a serious hangover. Though he’s helped with her recovery by doing a pharmacy run for supplies, he draws a firm line at cleaning up her mess, especially since she’s aware of his sensitivity to puke. Is he being unreasonable, or is it fair to hold his ground?

‘ AITA for refusing to clean up my wifes puke?’

My one bugaboo is puke (and my wife knows this). It makes me immediately need to vomit. My wife drinks very infrequently (like a few times a year max) but when she does she is usually quite hungover the next day.

We went to a Halloween party lastnight and I was the DD – she had a great time and consumed several beverages (2 bottles of wine over the evening to be exact). We got in at around 330am and crashed.

This morning I was woken up to her asking for help at 8am. She felt the urge to vomit (aggressively) but didn’t lift open the toilet seat cover in time so it went EVERYWHERE. All over the toilet, the floor, the walls, the garbage, etc. It’s a mess.

She asked me to clean it – I said absolutely not. So she shut the door and is currently trying to sleep off the hangover on the couch – waking every hour or so to puke again. I’ve been looking after her and did a pharmacy run for electrolyte powders, pepto, etc., but I draw the line at cleaning up her puke again. I feel guilty because it’s sitting in the bathroom waiting for her.. AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Mobile_Following_198 −  NTA. It’s not like she’s sick because of an illness. She’s sick because she drank too much. She didn’t have to drink that much to enjoy herself. She can clean it up herself. And yes, she is an AH for doing this then expecting you to clean it up, especially if she knows you have a thing about vomit. Note: You *would* be TA though if she was vomiting because of an illness.

LonelyOwl68 −  NTA. As a young woman, I often drank to physical sickness, such as that your wife is experiencing. If I vomited, no way would I ever expect anyone else to clean it up. That’s on me for drinking too much and it’s part of the price I had to pay for the good time I had the night before.

This might come across as kind of harsh, but even if she’s hung over, she should have a short period right after she vomits when she feels well enough to do the cleanup.

You’re taking care of her by getting her what she needs to help her body process the alcohol poisoning, but she should be doing her own cleanup. She drank it, she can deal with it.

Brilliant-Sea-2015 −  INFO: would your stance be different if she threw up because she was sick, or is this a generally-applicable “I don’t clean up vomit” stance?

MinPen311 −  Two bottles of wine? Jeez that’s a n**ty vomit comet experience. Been there and the hangover goes forever. NTA at all. I feel your pain too. I’ve had sympathy vomits if can call them that. She needs to clean up before the smell gets too out of hand. I feel sorry for you.

Distinct-Brilliant73 −  NAH. She’s allowed to ask for help, you’re allowed to say no. It’s not like she badgered you incessantly or anything. But yikes. Hope yall aren’t planning to have kids because that p**bia will not go over well with newborns.

ShirtCharming6459 −  NTA. She did this to herself. Gotta clean up your own puke, that’s the rule. If you can’t do that, don’t drink. If I was an i**ot and made a mess, I’m not running to my husband to help.

Now, when my aunt was still living and with her bf, he was very squeamish over any type of bodily fluids. However, she had very serious bouts of illness due to complications with her type 1 diabetes. There were surgeries throughout her life and a lot of not-so-fun things he graciously helped her with regardless of his gagging while he did it, out of pure love and care. That was a situation where he really stepped up in tough times.

The situation you describe is not one of those situations and it’s kinda mean to put that on you when she knows that’s just not your jam (who would want to clean up their spouses self inflicted puke anyway?)

Kirby3413 −  Ok the only thing worse than puke is cleaning up old puke. It will clean up so much faster if you take care of it while it’s fresh. I’d take the L and have her owe you one.

Cultural-Yak-223 −  I think you should clean it up. Yes, she did this to herself, but the next time you find yourself in a compromised situation, she’ll remember. Marriage is about helping each other through difficult times, even self inflicted ones.

Apart-Scene-9059 −  NTA: I mean would it be the kind thing to do……yes. But if you’re wife knows it’s something that makes you completely uncomfortable then she just need to clean her own puke up. What would she do if you weren’t home?

Plus the main fact is that she decided to drink to the point of past intoxication so this is on here. I would have more sympathy if this was like a stomach virus.

Fridaythe93th −  It sounds like this was a one off so I’m going to go against the grain and say yes YTA I f**king hate vomit but the one time my now current wife puked I took one for the team and cleaned it up for her.

For one I’m not letting puke sit out and smell the whole apartment all night and for two I’m not going to make my wife clean it up in the morning because I wouldn’t do that to my wife again if this was every night different story but once in a blue moon I’m taking one for the team.