AITA for refusing to cancel plans for my sister’s wedding?

A Redditor recounts their dilemma when their sister planned a last-minute wedding for December 14th, a date packed with pre-existing holiday obligations for the family.

Despite everyone’s encouragement to postpone, the sister insists her family should cancel their plans to attend, sparking tension. Read the full story below to see if you think the Redditor is justified…

‘ AITA for refusing to cancel plans for my sister’s wedding?’

My sister told me this week that she and her partner are planning to have a small wedding ceremony on December 14th with just our immediate family (our parents, younger brother, and me).

I’ve had a joint holiday party with my best friend planned for two months on that weekend, plus other holiday events that I’ve already RSVP’d to/paid for, including a few for work. My parents and brother are in the same boat, with work obligations, plus relatives and friends visiting for the holiday.

We would all have to travel for her wedding (either hours by car or by plane), so we can’t just arrive and leave within a day or even a weekend. We encouraged her to wait until January or February, but she refused. She called us all s**fish, and said that if we really loved her, we would cancel our plans for her wedding.

This made our mom cry, so I called my sister and said that she was the s**fish one for making last minute plans for her wedding during the busiest season of the year, disregarding everyone else and demanding that we cancel everything for her.

She said I was the AH, because I wasn’t being supportive of her wedding and refusing to cancel plans with friends for her. I am pretty sure of my argument, but her words have been eating away at me. Am I the AH?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Mysterious-Stock-948 −  NTA. Whether it’s a small, intimate wedding or a big one with extended family, people need notice at least 3-4 months prior, especially since she’s doing it on the busiest month if the year.

Like how I see December is that it’s THE month for get-togethers, and it’s reasonable that you have plans booked and paid for. Also, I’m assuming you guys aren’t close since you had no idea about the time frame she’s thinking of? Anyway, she’s AH. People, even family, can’t drop everything in their lives for an impromptu wedding.

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA She can’t seriously make plans for a wedding less than 2 months away, smack in the middle of a busy holiday season, and expect everyone to just change all previous plans to accommodate her last minute announcement.

If your immediately family has plans already in place, then SHE needs to be the one to either change it to a date and time when people can join in the celebration or elope. This was extremely last minute and none of you should feel badly for not being able to switch everything up on a dime for her.

HandBananasRevenge −  NTA. Six weeks notice for a wedding that requires travel in the middle of the holiday season is too short, IF she expects people to come. She can choose to get married whenever she wants, but that should not obligate people to scrap their plans to attend. Your sister sounds spoiled and entitled.

She didn’t issue invited. She issued demands to appear.  Unless she is so up her own ass that she didn’t consider that both the short notice and the time of year would make it difficult for people to attend, it almost seems like she did this to force people to scramble at the last minute. Is she a controlling type of person?

Smeats- −  You’ve been putting more time, planning and thought into your holiday party than she is putting into her wedding. I’m sure you can catch the next one.

EmceeSuzy −  You are NTA. Your sister is. What she is asking is gross. She is giving fewer than two months notice for a wedding planned during the height of the holiday season.

That’s foolhardy in and of itself, but when paired with the idea that anyone who will not drop all of their plans to travel to the wedding is wrong it is arrogant and demanding.

The one question I have is whether your sister is expecting a child and trying to marry before she gives birth. Do you think that could be what is going on here?

fiestafan73 −  She is making this a test by planning her wedding for when everyone is busy and claiming if you don’t cancel your plans you don’t love her. Don’t give in. I guarantee you she will reschedule to a time where she can get maximum attention. NTA.

_s1m0n_s3z −  NTA. Your sister was either being completely thoughtless of others, or deliberately power-tripping (less likely). Either way, she is the ass..

And not to put too fine a point on it, but shock, impulse-decision weddings like this don’t have the greatest record of longevity. You can’t say it, but you can *think*, “I’ll make it to your next one!”

BoredofBin −  NTA! If a wedding requires people to travel by car/ plane, then some form of advanced notice needs to be given.

Your sister is a double a**hole, not just for planning everything last minute but also expecting everyone to drop everything they have planned in advance to come to her wedding. And 2 for emotionally blackmailing everyone for coming.

Victoriasunnyboy −  Has your sister always been a princes? Sorry she made your mom cry with her mean girl ultimatums.

Normal-Height-8577 −  NTA. She called us all s**fish, and said that if we really loved her, we would cancel our plans for her wedding.

And if she really loved you guys, she wouldn’t expect you to cancel plans, but would check in to find out when your diaries were free before she booked a date for her wedding. Seriously. Weddings should never be loyalty tests.

Do you think the family is right to keep their holiday commitments, or should they change their plans for the wedding? How would you handle a surprise request for a big event during the busy season? Share your thoughts below!