AITA for refusing to bring back the full auntie/niblings day even though it would help out my SIL out?

A Redditor (24F) loves spending time with her seven young nieces and nephews but has set boundaries for herself, taking them out individually for quality time rather than managing the entire group.

With another nephew on the way, one of her pregnant sisters-in-law recently asked if she’d consider returning to full-day outings with all the kids together to help her get some rest.

Although she’s sympathetic, she feels it would be too overwhelming and potentially unfair to the other kids. Now, her brother has suggested hiring a babysitter to join, but she’s unsure if it’s the right solution. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to bring back the full auntie/niblings day even though it would help out my SIL out?’

I \[24F\] am the youngest to 3 brothers \[36M\], \[34M\], \[31M\]. Yes, I was the surprise baby and yes, I was coddled growing up. They’re all married and I get along really well with my SILs. Between the 3 of them, I have 7 niblings all of them under 10 and one of my SILs is pregnant with the 8th.

She’s my middle brother’s wife and they already have two kids. Here’s the problem. When it used to be just 3 niblings, I used to have full auntie/niblings day where I would basically take them out from sunrise to sunset, sometimes it was in the middle of the week, sometimes in the weekend depending on my work/social schedules.

From the start, I made my boundaries clear because I had read horror stories about babysitting. I basically said that I will only offer that 1 day a week of auntie fun/babysitting and will only babysit otherwise if there was extreme circumstances, for example when one of my SILs had their second baby, I was more than happy to have their toddler over for a four days sleepover until they were out of the hospital and settled at home.

With each added member to our days, it became my worst nightmare to handle that many kids alone. Say what you want about me but that’s a lot of responsibility and a lot of kids and just one me. So I started cutting the time and mixing and matching.

Still same day but for example, I take one of my brothers’ kids for something fun at breakfast. Another brother’s kids to lunch and the last brother’s kids to dinner and I’d mix it up the next week. No one had any problems with it.

Now that my SIL is heavily pregnant, 31 weeks, with their 3rd kid, she brought up the thought of me maybe keeping her kids all day and bringing them to stuff with the other niblings because she used to use that as a selfcare day for herself. I turned her down and told her my reasons 1) It would still be a lot of kids to handle if we merge, 5-6 and 2) it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of my niblings.

She understood (no crazy, s**fish SILs here) but I could feel her disappointment and that has me feeling guilty because I’m not a mom, I have no idea how hard it is for her.

My brother talked to me after that and asked if I would reconsider if he sends their usual babysitter with me to help out? I told him I’d think about it but I don’t want to be unfair to the other kids, plus, I don’t know this person that he would be sending with me. AITA if I also turn down that offer?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

RMaua −  NTA. If they have a regular babysitter they are willing to send along, then there is nothing stopping them from letting you have the niblings for part of the day and then you drop off their kids to the the babysitter who has money for the zoo or aquarium or picnic in the park or whatever y’all do with kids in your neck of the woods. Same cost to your brother and SIL. SIL gets a day alone and no extra stress for you.

Excellent-Count4009 −  NTA. ” I have no idea how hard it is for her.” … She CHOSE this. ” My brother talked to me after that and asked if I would reconsider if he sends their usual babysitter with me to help out? ” … How would that make sense. Their regular babysitter can do things with their kids without you. This sounds like a s**m, where the babysitter suddenly cancels.

Backgrounding-Cat −  NTA is it even safe to have one person babysitting that many young kids at once?

Mysterious-Stock-948 −  NTA. I’d be scared of handling that many kids, too. On another note, cheers to more people being on good terms/friends with their SILs!

lausim59 −  It appears to me that your best option would be instead of taking all of them once a week, take each brother’s kids once a month. That would give all of your niblings special time with you and would give you a week to recover or to offer extra time to any of your niblings that were having a special celebration or extra needs. NTA for recognizing and enforcing some boundaries, while still in my opinion being an excellent aunt.

Proper_Sense_1488 −  turn it into “SIL day” ask the other non pregnant aunties to help you out while you take the kids somewhere. 3 women and 7 children sounds way more managable than 1 woman and 7 children

Jazzlike-Bird-3192 −  7 kids on your own? No. You do enough. One day a week is amazing. Many wouldn’t do even that. NTA

Condensed_Sarcasm −  NTA. How about your brother have “their usual babysitter” take the kids ANYWAY and they do their own thing AFTER your regular nibling outing? Why are they asking YOU to take on the entire gaggle of critters?

Dragon_Queen_666 −  NTA. SIL asked, you answered. If you agree to this extra responsibility this time, how long will it be before all three SIOLs are pressuring you to go back to the previous arrangements?

fiestafan73 −  “I’m not a mom, I have no idea how hard it is for her.” That’s true, and you have no obligation to learn how hard it is because you have not taken on that responsibility. NTA.

Do you think she’s justified in keeping her boundaries, or should she reconsider to help her pregnant sister-in-law? How would you handle balancing family support with personal limits? Share your thoughts below!