AITA for refusing to bail my friend out of jail after he hit his wife?

A person finds themselves at odds with friends and family after refusing to bail out their long-time friend, “Jake,” who was arrested for hitting his wife, Sarah. Despite a decade of friendship, they drew the line, believing Jake needs to face the consequences of his actions. With Sarah expressing gratitude for their stance but others accusing them of betrayal, the question arises: Did they make the right decision? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to bail my friend out of jail after he hit his wife?’

I have been friends with “Jake” for over ten years. Since day one, I’ve known Jake has a temper. He’s the guy who gets way too angry at stupid things. Over the years, I’ve watched him explode on people, punch walls, and just completely lose it. I’ve tried to help. I’ve told him so many times that he needs therapy or anger management.

His answer is he doesn’t need help people just push his buttons. Two years ago, he married Sarah, and she is the sweetest, kindest person ever. But honestly, I’ve been worried for her. I’ve seen him yell at her over the dumbest things, like not putting enough salt on his food or something equally unbelievable.

Yesterday a friend caled me saying Jake had been arrested for hitting Sarah during an argument. Apparently, a neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops. Jake called me from jail, begging me to bail him out. I said no. He crossed a line, and I’m done.

He flipped out called me a fake friend and said I was abandoning him in his darkest hour. Since then, his family has been blowing up my phone, saying I’m heartless and that everyone makes mistakes. Sarah actually reached out to me, thanking me for not enabling him. She told me she’s planning to leave him for good, and I said I’d help her however I can.

Now, I’m stuck in the middle. Some of our friends are saying I did the right thing by letting him face the consequences, but others think I should’ve bailed him out because that’s what friends do. Honestly, I feel torn. This is someone I’ve known for so long, but I can’t excuse what he did. AITA for refusing to bail him out?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

NefariousnessFresh24 −  NTA. This person is not your friend, or at least he should not be any longer. There is no excuse for hitting your wife, that is no “mistake” that “everybody” makes. And you were a true friend when you tried him to get help over and over and over again. He refused it then, now he is paying the price. FAFO

pircloin123 −  Why do they specifically need you to bail him out? Why cant they do it?

deathboyuk −  Well, now you know which of your friends are wife-beater-apologist, good-for nothing cunts to ignore for the rest of your life, and which ones are actual functioning humans with hearts, minds and empathy.. You did great.. NTA

Eastern_Condition863 −  NTA. You are being a good friend by making him face the consequences of his actions. A “Yes Man” is not a friend. Thank you for being there for Sarah. I’m sure it means the world to her knowing she has your support.

dadboddeadliftt −  NTA let him rot

Lyzab77 −  NTA. Why the friends that called you didn’t pay himself ? Why all those who call you don’t pay ? Why do they want you to do it ? And what do they think about Sarah ? Do they want her to finish at hospital next time or do they want him to learn from his mistake ? You did the right thing and you know who are the good persons now around you…

InterestingStudio794 −  Getting physical with Sarah was the last stroll, that was not okay at all.

DemMilkshakes −  NTA. Worst case scenario, you may be potentially saving Sarah’s life. If he gets bailed out, he will go home and a**ault her first thing. If she’s not home, he will spend his time trying to find her.

Hopefully, she can use the time he is in jail to get out and far enough away that he cannot get to her again. Even if she stays, you are showing that there are consequences to his actions. He needs to be held accountable by those around him.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  Are you the only person in town with a few bucks? This doesn’t make sense, anybody could bail him out.

CelestialMire −  NTA, you did the right thing. Real friends don’t enable a**sive behavior.

Do you think the friend made the right call by refusing to bail Jake out, or should they have stepped in to help, considering their long friendship? How do you navigate loyalty when serious behavior crosses the line? Share your thoughts below!