AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she said I’m “not a real parent”?

Reddit user (33M) is a single dad who has been raising his 6-year-old daughter alone after her mother’s passing. While he often helps his sister, Claire (35F), by babysitting her three kids, he recently refused when she requested a last-minute weekend of childcare, as he had already planned a special daddy-daughter weekend.

Claire responded by saying he should be willing to help because she has “real responsibilities” with three kids, while he “only” has one child. Hurt by her dismissive comments, he told her he wouldn’t babysit if she doesn’t respect his parenting role.

Now, Claire is upset, and even their mom is urging him to apologize. Is he in the wrong? Read the original story below for more details.

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she said I’m “not a real parent”?’

I (33M) am a single dad to my daughter (6F). Her mom passed away shortly after she was born, so I’ve been raising her on my own for her entire life. It’s been hard, but I’ve done everything I can to provide for her and make sure she’s happy and healthy.

My sister “Claire” (35F) has three kids (10M, 8F, and 5F) and is married to a great guy. They’re both wonderful parents, but they often ask me to babysit their kids because they know I have a lot of experience with my own daughter.

I don’t mind helping out when I can, but lately, it feels like they’re asking me more and more, often with little notice. I’ve had to cancel plans, juggle my own schedule, and rearrange things to accommodate them.

A few days ago, Claire called and asked if I could babysit for the weekend because she and her husband wanted to go on a couples’ retreat. I told her I couldn’t because I had already made plans with my daughter for a special daddy-daughter weekend.

Claire got upset and said that I should be willing to help her out since she has “real responsibilities” as a mother of three and that I “only” have one child.That comment really hurt me, and I told her that just because I have one child doesn’t mean my responsibilities are any less important than hers.

She brushed it off and said I wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be a “real” parent because I’ve never had to deal with multiple kids or juggle a full household.

I was really offended and told her that if she thinks I’m not a real parent, then maybe she shouldn’t rely on me so much for childcare. I refused to babysit, and now she’s furious.

She’s been texting me non-stop, saying I’m punishing her over a small comment and that I’m being s**fish for not helping her when she needs it. Even my mom has chimed in, saying I should just let it go because Claire has a lot on her plate.

But I don’t think I should be treated like a free babysitter, especially when she clearly doesn’t respect my role as a parent. AITA for refusing to babysit after what she said?

Check out how the community responded:

saltedcaramelcookie −  NTA she literally said you aren’t qualified as a real parent and don’t know how to take care of multiple children, while trying to leave multiple children in your care. She’s an ingrate and not in entitled to your help. Tell your parents to watch her kids.

Own_Lack_4526 −  NTA. If she doesn’t think you understand how to deal with multiple kids, then obviously you shouldn’t take responsibility for multiple kids.. Enjoy your weekend!

_–Marko–_ −  Dont let it go. She has been taking advantage of your good nature. You are a single parent and she is off-loading her 3 kids off onto you. Why must you juggle your life, for her responsibilities. Not Cool At All

easythrowaway12345 −  NTA. I’m sorry, your mom said your SISTER has a lot on her plate? To the single dad who is providing childcare for the kids she brought into this world? The single dad who does it alone while the sister has a partner?

The single dad who is having to manage on his own income, and still finds a way to be supportive of his nieces/nephews?. S**ew these people.

CakePhool −  NTA. Talk to your brother in law and ask why they need so much of your time and also why they never ask in advance. It could be interesting to hear what she is telling him.

apietenpol −  NTA. What in the French fried f**k?? You raised a DAUGHTER on your own after your wife passed! You’re more of a parent than 99% of the parents out there, including your sister. I’d tell her and your mom that you’ll be no contact until they pull their heads out of their asses and apologize.

moobsarenotboobs −  Classic case of ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you.’ NTA. Tell your sister as a parent of one you’re not fit to take on the responsibility of three extra kids and to take a hike.

pineboxwaiting −  Parents typically hire babysitters. Real parents with lots of children hire them. Imaginary parents with only one child hire them.
Grandmothers who stick their noses in their children’s business often end up babysitting.

Your sister has options. You might back off from the “never babysitting again” bit, but it’s completely reasonable for you to tell your sister that you’ll only babysit when it doesn’t require that you reschedule any part of your life, empty and pathetic though it is. Your sister’s really s**fish. Don’t fall for her crapola.

DetroitSmash-8701 −  NTA. 1) If it was such a small comment, then why hasn’t she offered a genuine apology for it?
2) Sounds like your mother is offering to babysit then.
3) Your time is your time, and the terms you set for what you choose to do are yours and yours alone to set. Anybody that doesn’t like it can kick rocks.

RevolutionaryDiet686 −  NTA Remind her that she is not a single parent and that her husband shares the load of raising kids with her.