AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kid unless she pays me?

A Reddit user shared their dilemma about setting boundaries with their sister, a single mom who frequently asks them to babysit without compensation. As a busy 17-year-old balancing school, work, and personal life, the user feels underappreciated and taken advantage of. After requesting fair payment for their time, tensions escalated within the family. Read the full story below for the details.

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kid unless she pays me?’

I(17M) have a 3-year-old niece, Emily who I love, but watching her can be exhausting. My sister, let’s call her Anna (25F) , is a single mom and works long hours. For the past year, she’s been asking me to babysit Emily about 2-3 times a week while she works late. At first, I didn’t mind because I wanted to help out. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

Here’s the thing: I already have school, part-time work, and homework to juggle. Spending hours looking after Emily means I’m falling behind on other responsibilities, and I don’t have time to hang out with friends. On top of that, Anna never pays me or even acknowledges how much effort I put in. She always says things like “You’re family, this is what family does!”

Last week, she texted me again to babysit, and I told her I’d do it, but only if she paid me something. I suggested $10/hour, which I thought was fair since it’s cheaper than daycare. She got really upset and called me selfish, saying I “only care about money.” She also said I should understand how hard it is for her as a single mom.

I stood my ground and told her I’m not free labor and that she should look for alternative childcare if she doesn’t want to pay me. Now she’s barely speaking to me and is venting to our parents, who think I’m being inconsiderate. They’ve suggested I just help out until she “gets on her feet” but Anna’s been in this situation for years, and I don’t see anything changing soon.

I feel guilty because I know she’s struggling, but I also feel like my time and effort deserve recognition. AITA for refusing to babysit without getting paid?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Discount_Mithral −  NTA. You need to clearly communicate to your parents that this request from her is impacting your ability to complete school-work, your job, and eliminates any free time you have. If you are going to give up hours at work, you need to be otherwise compensated for your time.

It’s one thing to ask once in a while, but for regular sitting – that’s something she needs to pay for. Stand your ground on this one and tell her while you’d love to help when it’s an emergency, you have a life and other obligations that need to take precedence in your life. Her child is not more important that your future.

4th_chakra −  I already have school, part-time work, and homework to juggle. Spending hours looking after Emily means I’m falling behind on other responsibilities…lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of. What started off as a family favor has become a habit. You’re her brother, not her unpaid nanny. You also have a life. What may have worked out months ago is no longer the case.

Anna never pays me or even acknowledges how much effort I put in. She always says things like “You’re family, this is what family does!” I hear that saying often, and it tends to be used like a mantra to justify using another person. It’s only a saying. Invoking it doesn’t mean she gets to hold you to binding law. I stood my ground and told her I’m not free labor and that she should look for alternative childcare if she doesn’t want to pay me.

Good for you, for standing up for yourself! My sister, let’s call her Anna (25F) ..she’s barely speaking to me and is venting to our parents. Anna is an adult. Running to mommy and daddy to manipulate them into pressuring you is a very immature thing to do. But that still doesn’t mean you have to submit. Stand your ground.

I know she’s struggling, but I also feel like my time and effort deserve recognition. You are struggling as well, with school and work, and balancing those with a social life. But you aren’t taking advantage of other people, nor manipulating your own parents to get your way.. like your sister is. No one in your family is respecting you.. NTA.

LingonberryNo2455 −  Now she’s barely speaking to me and is venting to our parents, who think I’m being inconsiderate. They’ve suggested I just help out until she “gets on her feet”. So why exactly aren’t your parents helping her out then? After all, this is what FAMILY (not just you) does. Seriously do they want you to fail school? Absolutely NTA.  Time for Anna to get her s**t together tbh or your parents to step in instead of having a go at you.

StAlvis −  NTA. “You’re family, this is what family does!”. F**k. That. Noise. She also said I should understand how hard it is for her as a single mom. Yeah, I bet. Almost like it was a bad idea.

Aggressive_Cattle320 −  NTA Babysitting is hard work. And she couldn’t expect anyone else to do it for free. I agree with you, that once in a while is a different thing. This seems to have turned into a regular job, and she should definitely compensate you when you sit for her.

She asks you to consider how hard it is to be a single mother, and she also should consider how hard it is to be 17 and juggling schoolwork and works AND a babysitting gig you are being drafted into. I would stand your ground on this one. She’s had a good thing going, and she’s taken advantage of that. She won’t find more reasonable and trustworthy care than you’ll provide.

Tall-Candy9061 −  When other people are generous with your time. Just thank them for volunteering and see how quickly it isn’t just about family help family. Nta your sister is a grown woman who needs a better handle on her life.

Lunar-Eclipse0204 −  NTA – She always says things like “You’re family, this is what family does!” – Family also doesn’t take advantage of each other. Stand your ground and as far as her needing daycare and being in a bind for funds, apply for state programs, look into daycares that are open later or oever night… there are options.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  NTA. But lately, it’s starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of.. That’s because you are. It’s important you attend to what you need & have time with your friends. You’re 17. Her childcare shouldn’t be on you.
“You’re family, this is what family does!” No it isn’t. Not to the detriment of their own lives. I…told her I’m not free labor and that she should look for alternative childcare if she doesn’t want to pay me.. Exactly. Stand your ground.

owls_and_cardinals −  NTA. Your rationale is sound. We see stories like this allll the time – essentially it’s (normally young, single) parents who feel others should consider themselves blessed to do the parent the favor of providing free child care. What a joke. You have done your part. You do support Anna, and you have made room in your busy life to give her support. It’s not an infinite supply, though, and providing free labor is not the only way you can or should provide her sisterly support. Your parents are enablers.

The_Naxian_ −  A thank-you would have been nice or some pocket money or a gift from time to time acknowledging the effort you are making. NTA. She did choose to be a single mum, you did not choose to be a free babysitter.