AITA for refusing to babysit my nephew, even in a family medical emergency, because my brother and SIL lied before?

A Reddit user shares their story of refusing to babysit for their brother and sister-in-law after a series of lies that broke their trust. Despite being the only relative in town, the user had previously set clear boundaries about only babysitting in case of a true emergency. After being misled multiple times about a non-existent car accident to cover for date nights, the user decided to stick to their decision, even when a real family emergency occurred. Was it fair to hold onto the grudge, or did they go too far? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my nephew, even in a family medical emergency, because my brother and SIL lied before?’

I am my brother and SIL’s only relative in the city. When SIL was pregnant I made it clear that I’d only babysit for them in the case of a serious emergency, e.g. someone has a medical emergency. I won’t babysit if they just wanted time off from being parents, because I don’t have the free time for that. I work 60-100 hours a week, so if anyone needs time off, it’s me.

Last year, my brother and SIL asked me to babysit on the day of an informal work meeting, a lake retreat organized by my company. Everyone is expected to go, and it’s frowned upon if you miss it. They wanted to go on a date. I said no, I have an important work event. They continued to nag me about how they haven’t gone on a date for so long.

The night before that day, they called in a panic and said their friend Mike from the next city over had been in a car accident, and I needed to babysit nephew for a few hours so that they could go visit Mike. I reluctantly agreed, with the stipulation that they’d be back by 7 am the next day to pick nephew up so I could leave for my work event. They did not come back until two days later. I had to cancel on my superiors morning of, which looked awful.

My brother and SIL never responded to multiple texts and calls from me. Their excuse was that Mike’s life was in danger and they were too busy helping his girlfriend. I accepted that, since I had met both Mike and his girlfriend at a party in the past and thought they were good people, but I emphasized that this absolutely could not happen again. Throughout the next two months, my brother and SIL regularly used the excuse of aiding Mike in his recovery and needing to visit him in order to make me babysit my nephew.

Mike’s girlfriend’s company and my company had a meeting two months after Mike’s “accident”. I ran into her and asked her how Mike was recovering. Apparently, she had no idea he had ever been hospitalized. Neither did Mike. Mike had never been in an accident, and although brother and SIL had gone to visit them recently, it was for drinks and bowling, not bringing them chicken n**dle soup in the hospital.

I confronted brother and SIL, and they denied at first, but finally admitted they had been lying about Mike’s accident so that they could go on date nights. They claimed I “gave them no choice since I would never help them out when they needed time together because parenting was so stressful and difficult and I had no idea and it was just a little white lie”.

I made it clear that after this incident, I would never babysit for them again, and I’ve stuck to that. Yesterday my brother and SIL begged me to babysit for them because there was an actual medical emergency in SIL’s family. They even sent me proof of the relative’s hospitalization. I still said no. They didn’t care about betraying my trust, so I don’t care if they can’t afford childcare or if their relative is in the hospital. They said I was a bad aunt, needed to get over my grudge, and a petty a**hole. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Final_Commission4160 −  NTA they cried wolf too many times now they get to live with the consequences. Plus family doesn’t owe family free babysitting, if they wanted a date night find a babysitter.

dnjprod −  NTA: they burned that bridge. They used a lie about the health of a friend to put their priorities above your own. They made you miss work, and lied to you for months. They really expect you to do this? F**k that. They need to grow up and if they weren’t ready for the stress of having kids all the time, they shouldn’t have had one. These people aren’t just assholes, they are bad parents. Who the hell drops their kid off to the person they’ve tricked into babysitting and then ghosts them for two days?!

TheShowJaguar −  NTA – has it never occurred to them to hire a babysitter? Your time is too valuable and you are not responsible for their choice to procreate. They are unbelievable AH for lying to you.

Issamelissa84 −  NTA. Im a parent and i would NEVER do that – no matter how badly I wanted a night off. Totally inexcusable. Stick to your guns. Don’t babysit for them ever again. They can hire a sitter, the entitled assholes.

[Reddit User] −  They are lucky you didn’t simply call the police to come pick the baby up when they were unreachable for two days. You don’t just get to abandon your baby with somebody and be gone for multiple days without contact. NTA, stand your ground.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. After taking advantage of your good will like that, and potentially damaging your career, they have no right to expect anything from you like that again.

mamallama7228 −  NTA. Since when are family members obligated to babysit upon demand? They need to get their grown up pants on and find childcare. And beg for forgiveness for lying repeatedly to take advantage of you.

loathinginmi −  NTA . He can stay home with his kids, and SiL can go visit her family. Problem solved. They were due back by a certain time but showed up two days later. Wtf?! Screwing with your job / livlihood is unforgiveable! Then, not only did they lie initially, about someone’s life being on the line, they continued to lie repeatedly.

There is no justifying any of that. These are their children. Welcome them to life as a parent! Being “an aunt” doesnt mean you agree to take the kids every time the parents want to go out. Your relationship with their kids is not for exploitation purposes.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Even if their friend did have an accident, they should no have been unreachable while you were babysitting. What if their kid had an emergency?? This is just terrible, and I would never babysit for them again.

Tiamat_fire_and_ice −  NTA. Oh, absolutely not. Stick to your guns and never babysit for them, again. I don’t care if aliens land and threaten war on the Earth unless your brother and sister-in-law personally negotiate a peace deal with them. Still don’t do it.

I know your brother is your relative so I hate to say this, kind of, but that man is a Grade A j**k. So is your sister-in-law. Really, what terrible, terrible people. They really don’t have much character if they would lie like that. There’s nothing “little” or “white” about it. And, what kind of lesson is that for your nephew about right and wrong? They’re lucky that you’re even still speaking to them because I don’t think I would be.

And, what do they mean, “They had no choice”? They could make friends with the neighbors, they could hire a babysitting service — they had other options than to not only lie to you but to make you miss an important work event. You could have been seriously hamstrung at your job over that! Not only are you NTA, I’m almost ready to ask you for their phone number so I can chew them out, myself. I’m furious on your behalf!