AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying b**t, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family?

A Redditor, frustrated with babysitting their difficult cousin, refused to continue helping out despite the financial benefits for their aunt’s family. After being blamed for issues caused by the cousin’s behavior, the Redditor stood their ground, leading to family conflict and punishment. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying b**t, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family?’

My (15 y.o.) Aunt Cassandra (48 y.o.) has a son named Tristan (12 y.o.) who is a nightmare to be around. Mom started asking me to babysit him so Aunt Cassandra could pick up some extra work. Tristan lies to Aunt Cassandra about me because he knows that she’ll buy him a present to “make it up to him.”

I was babysitting him on Friday and he had a screaming fit because I refused to give him his phone until he did his homework (Cassandra’s instructions.) Because he lied that I had friends over and destroyed the house the last time, I recorded everything to prove my innocence.

I showed it to Aunt Cassandra and she still blamed me saying Tristan doesn’t like being recorded and that’s the only reason he was acting out! I have told Mom numerous times that I don’t want to babysit Tristan because he lies and I get punished for it. Mom has basically just made excuses that kids his age are like that and I babysit other kids so this shouldn’t be a problem.

I showed my Mom the video and explained everything that happened on Friday, but she’s still saying that Aunt Cassandra needs the help because the money from working extra is a huge help and I can do this for my family because she needs a dependable babysitter.

We just got into an argument because she asked me to babysit Tristan again this Friday and I told her no because this kid is a lying little b**t. I added that maybe refusing to discipline him is the real reason Cassandra can’t keep a babysitter on board and she should try babysitting him to see what it’s like.

I’m currently grounded. But this has been going on since summer and my patience is out. AITA? For finally having enough and refusing to babysit Tristan? Even though the extra money Aunt Cassandra brings in really helps her family?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Individual_Ad_9213 −  NTA. Better to be grounded than to babysit a “lying little b**t.” Your Aunt and your mom are wrong to disregard your concerns; and they’re even more wrong to enable his m**ipulative behaviors. They are doing him no favors.

every1remaincalm −  NTA – What the heck are you doing babysitting someone three years younger than you? I was taking care of multiple kids under 5 when I was 12, he can look after his damn self… “Kids his age are like that”? No the hell they aren’t. I wouldn’t put up with lying and violent tantrums from kindergartners, let alone from someone who is actually old enough to stand trial for crimes (at least here in Canada).

Stay grounded, just don’t go back to that house. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? The adults in your life are being completely unreasonable and I think you need another adult to get involved.

Substantialgood4102 −  NTA. Time for your mom to step up and help her sister out. Being grounded is a great time to spend some alone time. Not dealing with an annoying, lying b**t and ungrateful, neglectful parent, bonus!!! Mom wants to help your aunt but only if you are doing the labor.

If possible and old enough where you are get a part time job or babysit for other people. Does your aunt pay you? Don’t fall for the BS of family. Set your boundaries and make them clear.

Spare_Ad5009 −  NTA. Cassandra isn’t grateful. Your mother is putting Cassandra, her sister, before her own daughter, which is inappropriate. You babysit; you get chastised. Don’t babysit.

DontWasteMyTime2121 −  The kid is 12, why isn’t he being left alone? He shouldn’t need a babysitter if his parents did their job of raising him.

naraic- −  NTA. If you don’t have authority you aren’t a babysitter. Tristan might as well be alone. So if Aunt doesn’t give you authority why are you wasting everyone’s time being there.

algunarubia −  NTA. A 12-year-old shouldn’t need a babysitter. The only ones that do are the ones that are obviously nightmares, like your cousin. Here is what’s actually happening:

1. Your aunt knows her son is a nightmare and therefore needs a babysitter.

2. She knows she can’t afford one, so she is using you because you’re free labor.

3. Your mom is aware of 1 & 2 and sympathizes with your aunt, so she is fine giving you up as free labor.

4. Because they want you to keep babysitting, they are g**lighting you to try to convince you that you’re the problem, not your cousin, so they don’t have to deal with the consequences of accepting that there is a problem.

To the extent that you can resist this arrangement, you should, but you’re a 15-year-old living at home, so your options are limited. Do you have other adult relatives you could maybe appeal to? Could you negotiate so that your mom has to come along to babysit, or Tristan needs to be dropped off at your house while she’s there? Even if you are forced to continue this situation, you should know in your heart that you’re right.

fluffyfeather80 −  NTA. Try saying “He doesn’t listen to me so I don’t feel like I can assure he is safe. Also, he lies and I don’t need to be accused of anything so I am concerned about my safety too. He needs a baby sitter he will listen to.” At 15, if he says you hit him you could end up being investigated for child abuse.

Who knows if he would take the lying that far but do you really want to take a chance? Also, you mentioned being grounded. Have you been grounded since August over this? If so that’s really s**tty and over the top. Unfortunately for your mom, this is something you are going to always remember and resent her for. She’s the AH for not having your back.

HandBananasRevenge −  NTA. Some parents refuse to raise their kids to be well behaved and then act shocked when nobody wants to deal with their Golden Turds. 

entirelyintrigued −  How is it a 15 year old child’s responsibility to make sure a grown ass woman my age can bring in more money for her family? If Cassandra wants to work more she needs to face the fact that her child is a nightmare and she can’t get a babysitter except for a coerced family member because she’s a bad mother. Tell her that so you can get grounded longer so you don’t have to babysit longer.

Was the Redditor justified in refusing to babysit their cousin despite their aunt’s financial struggles? How should families balance boundaries and obligations? Share your thoughts below!