AITA for refusing to attend my brother’s wedding because of the way his fiancée treated my wife?

A Reddit user finds themselves at odds with their family after a hurtful incident involving their brother’s fiancée. While preparing for the upcoming wedding, the user’s wife, who suffers from fibromyalgia, was publicly criticized by the fiancée for wanting to have a baby, leading to feelings of humiliation and distress.

When the user confronted his brother about the comment, he defended his fiancée instead of supporting his wife. Feeling disrespected and frustrated, the user has decided to boycott the wedding unless the fiancée acknowledges her inappropriate remark.

This decision has sparked conflict within the family, with relatives urging him to let it go for the sake of harmony. Read the original story below to explore the complexities of family dynamics and the importance of standing up for loved ones.

 

‘ AITA for refusing to attend my brother’s wedding because of the way his fiancée treated my wife?’

So, my (32M) brother (29M) is getting married next month. I was originally excited, but things took a turn when his fiancée (27F) made some comments about my wife (30F).

For context, my wife struggles with fibromyalgia, which affects her energy levels and sometimes causes her to need extra support. It’s something we’ve navigated together for years.

At a recent family event, my brother’s fiancée told my wife, in front of everyone, that it was “s**fish” for her to try for a baby given her condition. She implied that raising a child with fibromyalgia would be a burden on me and suggested we should “think about adoption instead.”

My wife was mortified. She tried to brush it off in the moment, but I could see how much it hurt her. After we left, she broke down, saying she felt judged and humiliated. I called my brother the next day to talk about it.

I wasn’t expecting an apology from his fiancée, but I at least hoped my brother would back me up and recognize how hurtful the comment was. Instead, he defended her, saying, “She didn’t mean it that way; she’s just direct. You know how she is.”

That really pissed me off. I told him that it wasn’t about “how she is” — it was about respecting people, especially family. He shrugged it off and said I was overreacting. After thinking it over, I decided I won’t be attending the wedding if his fiancée can’t acknowledge how inappropriate her comment was.

My brother called me “dramatic” and accused me of “ruining his big day over one small comment.” Now my parents are involved, saying I need to just let it go for the sake of family harmony.

They think I’m being an ass for skipping my brother’s wedding over “one awkward moment.” But my wife feels validated by my decision, and honestly, so do I. I don’t think we should have to endure that kind of disrespect just to keep the peace.. So… AITA?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

brokencappy −  Fiancé should apologize for the sake of family. She is being way too dramatic and tearing the family apart. Why would she poison the relationship between family this way and ruin her husband’s wedding day by being so hateful and dramatic?

I mean, that’s just you being you, you being honest. Just the way you are.. No? Ah, there’s your answer.

brunettezoe −  **NTA**. You’re standing up for your wife, and that’s the right call. Your brother’s fiancée made a really hurtful comment, and instead of owning up to it, your brother brushed it off. It’s not just “one small comment”—it was disrespectful, and you’re not wrong for wanting an apology.

Family harmony shouldn’t mean ignoring hurtful behavior. You’re not ruining his wedding; you’re just asking for basic respect for your wife. It’s totally fair to set that boundary, and your wife deserves to feel supported.

AllandarosSunsong −  So NTA. My sister has fibromyalgia. She managed to have a beautiful daughter who is the light of her world. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it?. F**k yes. Your wife is normal and completely not an AH for wanting to bring a life into the world to love.

Your future sister-in-law however is a callous, cruel and heartless b**ch, as well as an a**hole. F**k anyone that doesn’t support you standing up for your wife. Anyone. Stand by your guns. You’re completely right here.

EquivalentBend9835 −  NTA- When people say that they are “direct”, or “that’s just the way they are” tell them the word that are looking for is “rude”. Don’t go. Tell him you will go to his next wedding.

FluffeeFl −  Your wife needs to smile at the soon to be SIL and say. Bless you heart that you are so knowledgeable (if you know southern it’s not nice). Tell wife her choices are hers and she very courageous to keep on living on good and bad days.

angelmakr9 −  Remember the good ole days when your mom taught you that if you didn’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all…I say we all practice that concept!. NTA. Actions have consequences!

-Joe1964 −  Don’t go. She’s an ass.

Consistent-Ad3191 −  I love how people say to let it go for the sake of a family harmony, but he allowed his fiancé to disrespect your wife and cause a rift already. It sounds like a double standard and why should you keep the family harmony to appease your brother and his disrespectful fiancé?

Legal_Drag_9836 −  She implied that raising a child with fibromyalgia would be a burden on me and suggested we should “think about adoption instead.” Well, your brother’s fiancée is an i**ot if she thinks raising a child you adopt will be less laborious than raising a biological child you birthed 💀

Even if she was worried about passing the fibro on to a child, the genetic components are largely anecdotal and just about anyone can end up with it, or many many other medical conditions because that’s just life.. NTA.

Do you think the user is justified in refusing to attend the wedding over the fiancée’s comment, or should he have taken a more conciliatory approach for the sake of family harmony? How would you handle a situation where a family member disrespects your partner? Share your thoughts below!