AITA for refusing the to babysit my girlfriends daughter?

A Reddit user shares a dilemma about their girlfriend asking them to babysit her daughter on weekends. Although the user enjoys spending time with the child during visits, they don’t feel it’s their responsibility to sacrifice their only free time for babysitting, especially since the child’s father is actively involved. Was the user being reasonable, or should they step up in this relationship? Read the story below.

‘ AITA for refusing the to babysit my girlfriends daughter?’

So I’ve been seeing this girl for awhile we use to date in middle school and we reconnected about 10 months back and started dating again it’s been pretty cool, she does have a daughter now and the father is definitely involved but I try not to get between it or the father as a respectful matter not trying to play daddy when daddy is in her life.

She’s a cool little girl I do hold her, feed her,occasionally buy a couple necessities nothing crazy,and stay in the car or room with her when mom leaves the room for a second yk basic s**t but never baby sitting.

I feel that’s not my responsibility of course when she’s there I act accordingly but I feel any outside responsibility isn’t my own.. she is asking if I can start baby sitting on the weekends (the father apparently is starting to work weekends but so does she) I told her I would let her know but I don’t think that’s a problem that I should have to take care of the only time of the week I get to myself, why should I have to sacrifice my free time?

Edit- we reconnected 10-11 months ago and dated almost the entire time since we reconnected. I’m 20 she’s 19.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

SweetinTampa_2022 −  NTA – Don’t babysit. Take your weekends to do things you want to do.

ada-byron −  Actually, it protects you from possible false accusations. Sad as it is, that is the world we live in today.

Sad-Carrot6503 −  Nta, your choice. What does their custody agreement say? If the weekend is the father’s then it is up to him to find child care. If your girlfriend has weekend custody then it falls on her. You are dating a parent and there is some things that will be more work. You can opt out of the parenting part but be prepared for her to move on.

She’s young and is probably looking more for a partner that will shoulder some of the responsibility. If you don’t want that then you probably should find someone else. There is the small chance that she got with you just because she thought you would help her. Be careful.

Alarming_Energy_3059 −  NTA. You have only been dating 10 months. She shouldn’t even have allowed you to meet her kid. (Not implying you are a bad guy at all, it’s just a basic safety thing).

Obvious-Elephant-364 −  If OP starts being a caregiver to the daughter, can he be put on child support?

R4eth −  Nta. You’re not married, and you’ve barely began getting serious. Her childcare problems are not your problems. That being said, I think you should remain open to the idea of baby sitting, as it would be an excellent way to get to know the kid better. However, if you decide to try it out, clear and hard boundaries must be set in stone.

For example, you have the right to say no, and they must respect that. And, you need to be paid for your time. Again, you’re not married. You have no legal obligation to watch the child. So, if you decide to try it out, they’re paying you. And if they don’t like it, then you’re not babysitting. That simple.

NoOrder7211 −  NTA. It is not your responsibility to babysit her daughter. Even when and if you become more serious, marry and become a step dad, it is still NOT your responsibility to babysit. The mother and biological father will have to figure out how they are going to manage working and raising a child, not you.

If you take on this responsibility you will not be free of it. They have to decide how to manage being the parent, working, having a social life and having a new relationship and having their own personal time – not you. You may not be the priority as the mother will need to figure out how to manage her time alone, being a parent and having a relationship. Best advice i was ever given when dating a man with kids. You do not have to compromise your free time.

Grand-Bullfrog3861 −  No way 😂

Mr-_-Steve −  Whats your long term plan… What you want is fair, but you are literally sounding like the definition of “wanting cake and eating it too” which makes me feel like YATA as 10 months is long enough to not class it as a casual fling anymore especially when children are involved. You either s**k it up and baby sit or you end the relationship as its not the lifestyle you want. Any person who gets into a relationship with a parent with a young child and long term wants nothing to do with that kid is an ass.