AITA for refusing my to buy my fiancé gaming laptop for a few grand after he told me to find a real job?

A Redditor recounted a conflict with their fiancé, who quit his job to pursue Twitch streaming but hasn’t made any progress. After calling the Redditor’s successful online business “not a real job,”

He asked for a pricey gaming laptop as a birthday gift, leading to a heated argument. Was the Redditor justified in refusing to buy the laptop, or were they being unsupportive? Read the original story below to learn more.

‘ AITA for refusing my to buy my fiancé gaming laptop for a few grand after he told me to find a real job?’

My fiancé (m37) and I (f30) have started living together 6 months ago. I own a house and he moved in with me. I run online business from home which allows me to live rather comfortably. A month after moving in, he quit his job saying how much he hated it and that he’s going to try and do twitch streaming for a living.

Im all for following your passion so I was supportive although surprised at the turn of events. I am in financial position to support us both but it felt off.
Anyway, nothing happened with his twitch channel. Sure, he’s gaming all day but hasn’t bothered to even try and create an account, he just games for pleasure. It’s been 7 months.

I’ve had conversations with him suggesting he finds work but he keeps telling me that I’m unsupportive and he needs time. He wanted us to buy a bigger house together but I said that I’m fine with my current one and that since he doesn’t have a job,

I don’t want to get mortgage and be left with paying everything and he told me that if I found a real job maybe I wouldn’t have financial problems. We had a massive argument that night. Now, he’s been hinting at needing new gaming laptop which costs a few grand and I’ve been ignoring it so he asked outright for me to buy it for his birthday.

I told him no that my fake job doesn’t cover new laptops and he got really pissed at me, telling me I’m selfish and am ruining his career. Granted, I can afford it to buy it but he really hurt me saying my business is not a real job despite me working my ass off. AITA for not buying him new laptop?

See what others had to share with OP:

Bordsteinschwalben −  You sound intelligent, is the D that good for all that BS? NTA

Holmes221bBSt −  NTA. Wow. So he saw you make money with your own business & decided you can be his sugar momma, while he follows his dream of being a professional gamer. Yeah ya know what, no.

You have a real job, he has NO job & now he’s going through some early mid life crisis trying to be some edgy famous gamer. Sorry but he sounds like he’s 19. He’ll be 40 soon. HE needs a real job, not you

mangarooboo −  I’m selfish and am ruining his career.. Lmao. What career? NTA. I’m a straight woman but can I be your new boyfriend? You sound like you’re carrying all the weight here and instead of being happy for you

(or even feeling lucky and grateful for being able to just f**k around for seven MONTHS and have zero consequences) this dude has become spoiled. Does he do chores around the house at least? Show SOME form of appreciation?

IronwoodWitch −  NTA. d**p him. Hes using you.

Chi3f_Leo −  NTA – After 7 months of this you really shouldn’t have to ask

BeringC −  NTA- Take a look at the post people, this guy is 37! 37, and his big career goal is to be a twitch streamer. 🤣 Not only should you not buy him a laptop you need to kick him to the curb, fast!

SagaciousSagi −  From the title alone, NTA for the laptop without reading the rest. Edit: D**p him ASAP. You’re a bank while he plays games all day. Don’t entertain this any further.

HistoricalInaccurate −  NTA – Dude is using you.

Allimack −  NTA This has to be fake, right? Adults have to support themselves financially, OR, bring something to the table (like childcare or caregiving or homemaking) that balances them staying at home and not working.

You haven’t said that he devotes time and energy to shopping, meal planning, vacuuming and dusting, doing the laundry and making your home a comfortable and peaceful place. If he is just a sitting like a lump in front of the computer while you feed him and attend to his needs like you are his Mom and he is 12, then that is a big red flag that he is never going to be the partner you deserve.

Give him the legal notice you need to give him to leave, 30 days or 60 days. Tell him this is “not working” for you anymore. You were originally attracted to a functional adult, not a needy child.

FloppyEaredDog −  Info: What do you see in this guy? What does he bring to the relationship?

Was the Redditor right to refuse the expensive gift, or should they have been more supportive of their fiancé’s aspirations? How would you handle a situation where financial priorities and career goals clash in a relationship? Share your thoughts below!