AITA for refusing my future sister in law’s request to dye my hair for my brother’s wedding?
A Redditor shares their story of being asked by their future sister-in-law to dye their naturally red hair for her wedding, as the bride wants to be the only one with that shade. Despite pushback from family, the Redditor stands firm, valuing their hair as a personal choice. Read the original story below:
‘ AITA for refusing my future sister in law’s request to dye my hair for my brother’s wedding?’
My future SIL Liz has turned into a bridezilla and is going to war with everyone over every stupid thing. My natural color is red. I love my hair. Liz is a blonde but she loves to have red hair and in fact ever since meeting me she’s been dying her hair almost exactly my color.
I don’t mind, I think it’s weird that she does it but I don’t have a monopoly over this particular shade of red and she’s free to do with her hair whatever she wants. Well, she asked me this week that I should dye my hair to a different color because she wants her hair to be unique in her wedding, she offered to cover all the costs as well. I just said no because it’s my hair, I don’t want it changed.
I told my brother and he told me to do whatever I want because it’s my hair, he said he’ll talk to Liz to get her to back off. Well it didn’t work because Liz has come to my parents and they’ve taken her side! They say it’s her special day and we need to be more accomodating and it’s important for our future relationship that we get along.
I believe I am accomodating, she can do whatever she wants with her own hair! How is my hair any of her business anyway. My parents tell me that I should be the bigger person. I don’t know why an 18 year old should be the bigger person compared to the 27 year old Liz. They told me I’m making this minor issue into a big problem and I should just do what she wants because it’s her wedding.. AITA for not giving in?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Madame_Corleone420 − Absolutely NTA!!! Dying your hair + color correction to get back to your natural color + the amount of time it takes for your natural colored hair to grow out is a pain in the b**t.
Fainora − NTA if she wants to have original hair for her wedding maybe she should use her natural hair and not yours. it is absurd, rude and wrong to ask people in your wedding party to change their physical appearance for your wedding. There is no reason you should damage your hair for one day.
mrslII − NTA. She can ask. You said no. Also, WTAF? She’s something special.. Edit. The “Be the better person” is b**lshit. Every single time. People who say that are trying to manipulate who they say it to.
[Reddit User] − NTA – If this woman wanted unique hair, she should have picked a different color than the one naturally occurring in her future SIL.
_Living_deadgirl_ − NTA if she wants unique hair for her wedding then she can dye hers a different colour.
Erythronne − NTA. Say ok and buy a blue or purple wig to wear
awyllt − NTA. Tell her to dye her hair blue if she wants to be unique.
originalgenghismom − NTA – being “the bigger person” means “be a doormat so the entitled, jealous, selfish (fill in the blank) can have their way and reduce stress for everyone around them”. Please do not change your hair and risk damaging it. As a compromise maybe you can offer to wear your hair in a subdued or pulled back style.
[Reddit User] − NTA. You can try telling her that since everyone knows your real hair color, that if you change it, THAT will be the talk of the wedding. “Ooh didn’t she used to have red hair?” “I liked the red so much better.” “Why did she dye it for the wedding?” ”
dwassell73 − NTA tell your parents & Liz that you are not dying your hair end of story & it’s no longer open for discussion & you will not going forward engage in any conversation about this topic agin & if they continue either walk out of the room , hang up a phone call etc
Should the Redditor accommodate the bride’s unusual request for the sake of harmony, or is this an unreasonable demand that crosses personal boundaries? Share your thoughts on where to draw the line with wedding requests.