AITA for refusing my birthday gift because it was a weight watchers subscription?
What would you do if someone gave you a birthday gift that felt more like an insult than a present? In this situation, a young woman got a Weight Watchers subscription as a “gift” from her aunt, who’s been making comments about her weight for years.
She refused the gift, but now her parents think she overreacted and worry about the family gossip. Was she wrong to stand up for herself, or was her reaction justified?
‘AITA for refusing my birthday gift because it was a weight watchers subscription?’
Hi Reddit, I turned 18 (female) yesterday but it seems to caused a bit of drama in my family so im asking for honest, objective opinions on whether im wrong. I’m using a throwaway account because this situation is obviously very humiliating for me
For reference, my weight has always been made fun of in my family. My aunt specifically has always been very unkind and fat shamed me, even when I was younger and struggling with my body image. She used to tell me that my clothes looked so small on me, and that even her clothes are probably small for me. She used to remind me to go on diets constantly. Im currently 320lbs if it adds contexts too
I hadn’t seen my aunt in a while and for the most part I was really glad to see her for my birthday. I was slightly dreading if she would say anything to me because im aware I have gained a lot of weight since I last saw her, but she just made a few comments so I thought it was the end of it.
I was opening a birthday card she gave me a few hours later and it had money in it, with a note that said “money for weight watchers, make some real change for once”. This was humiliating and I asked her about it and she said that she could tell I was miserable and that I probably look really good underneath the fat. She said this in front of my parents, and it was very embarrassing. I told her im not accepting the gift and she’s making me look stupid, but she said that she was just worried for me and my health. I don’t believe this, she’s made fun of my weight for years even before I was a teenager. But my parents think I was overreacting and I should’ve just accepted it. My aunt has a notoriously big mouth and my parents think she’s going to tell our whole family so they’re getting kind of worried about what I’ve done. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
DesertSong-LaLa – NTA – Absolutely NTA. She has amply applied salt in the wound for a decade. Consider: “I considered buying you an award for sustaining “Lack of Tact” and “Body Shaming” for 10+ years but instead I’ll return your gift so you can buy something to pre-occupy your thoughts and actions since I’m no longer accepting your shaming insults. or… “I donated your birthday money gift to a local animal shelter because dogs have more empathy than you.” ….c’mon sub….what else could OP state?!
Remember-Glass-Ass – As a fat person myself at 295lbs, I am aware I’m overweight. People don’t need to bring it to my attention. I’m petty enough I’d mail back the card, with the money and note telling her to go to hell and not to bother with me anymore, I’d rather have nothing than her constant judgment. NTA
GMamaS – For your aunt’s next birthday you should hand her a card with a voucher for therapy inside with a little note that’s says “voucher for therapy, learn how not to be an asshole”
hikergirl26 – If you wanted to join weight watchers and she wanted to support you with money, and she did it privately then that would helping you. To do this in front of your parents was NOT the way to do it. NTA for calling her on it. Good luck to you in your future.
Mysterious_Peas – NTA. I’m so sorry, OP. No one should be shamed like this. My mother fat-shamed me under the guise of “caring about my health” for decades. I finally melted down at her and told her that my weight was off limits. I would hang up the phone if she started in on it. (I lived about 1,000 miles and three states away for my sanity.)
After years of therapy I finally lost 115 pounds. But I only ever gained weight when she was up my butt about it. I’m still heavy, but I’m not ashamed of my body anymore. I had to find the grace to love myself fat before I could lose any weight (and keep it off). OP, I’m not saying “lose weight,” your journey is yours and yours alone. What I will say: Love yourself, and do not take the shame others try to give you.
SadPanda207 – NAH but 320lbs at just 18 is . . . Concerning. Maybe your Aunt went about it wrong, but she is NOT wrong to be concerned about you. You don’t have to do Weight Watchers, but you DO need to start thinking about your health. You are on the fast track to heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, joint problems, etc. Your family has the right to be concerned about your morbid obesity. Down vote me to hell please.
Elijah1190 – You’re 145kg, you seriously need to do something because even if she is doing it out of spite you really need to think about your health. YTA for killing yourself slowly. Maybe she is right and she can see that you’re not well and unhappy with your life.