AITA for “Reacting Poorly” to a photo my brother’s ex sent to me?

A Redditor shared a dramatic story involving their ex-husband, estranged brother, and a new relationship that took a strange turn. After receiving a suggestive photo from their brother’s pregnant ex-girlfriend, now dating their ex-husband, the user responded with frustration, only to be accused of overreacting and jealousy. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for “Reacting Poorly” to a photo my brother’s ex sent to me?’

I (24F) divorced my (26M) husband (call him Derek) about 10 months ago. I decided to remain civil because we work at the same place and live in the same small town together. This entire time, he has been adamant that I was his soulmate and that he was going to do the work to win me back.

Fast forward to 5 months ago, I met my estranged brother (27M, call him Luke) and actually introduced him to Derek because I thought they would get along. And they did, became best buds. Well Luke ended up meeting a girl (18F, call her Gertrude) soon after this, started dating her and got her pregnant.

Gertrude has told us all wild stories, and I don’t believe most are true. But I know she is a recovering addict, and she is slowly dying from kidney failure. Well, Luke hits a severe bout of depression, and quits talking to all of us almost entirely to cope. Gertrude gets frustrated, and starts talking to Derek.

They text all day, FaceTime each night. Derek tells me all of this and swears up and down that it’s just “brotherly-sisterly” love. That doesn’t last long. Derek was now dating Gertrude (because of Minecraft, literally) and she hadn’t even broken up with my brother yet.

Derek texts me that he just wants to be friends with me and give up hope of us getting back together. I told him I was fine with that, but asked a few questions and he told me everything, including that he believes that they’re soulmates. Whatever, it’s their life. Last night, I get a snap notification from Gertrude.

I open it, and it’s a photo of her in a revealing top with Derek’s thumb in her mouth suggestively, taken in his house. Instantly, I’m furious. Why would she send that to me? I immediately text Derek thinking maybe he didn’t know, cause there’s no way he would be okay with that, but he knew.

He said, that I wasn’t singled out because she sent it to all her Snapchat contacts. I argued back that she should have realized that it was in poor taste to send that to me, and suggested she sent it to show that he wasn’t “mine” anymore. I also said even if she did send it to everyone, it was a cry for attention.

He said none of this was the case and they didn’t think I was going to “react poorly” to the photo. I rebutted with the fact that she, who is 18 and pregnant with my nephew, sent me a suggestive photo of her and my ex husband.

I just went ahead and blocked Gertrude on everything, told him she was not welcome at any occasion that I was planning and that I would settle up any outstanding business I had with him directly. Now they’re upset and calling me jealous amongst other things, saying I’m overreacting.

They also dropped the bombshell that they have already moved in together after 2 weeks of dating (She moved out of halfway housing into his house). From my perspective, Gertrude has been a big attention seeker thus far, and is being catty with me right now, since they have officially moved in together. But I could be wrong and maybe I’m still clinging on to old feelings. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Remote-Physics6980 −  Girl, block both of them. No matter what happens with her illness or pregnancy, she is going to implode like Nagasaki all over his life. He is not the first man to be made of fool of by a young girl. And he won’t be the last. Block both of them and move on. Worry about your future nephew when and if he ever shows up. NTA 

BoysenberryPicker −  Major ick on your brother and ex for hooking up w a barely legal j**kie. May they all live the life they deserve. 🙄

Pure_Mongoose9887 −  So two dudes in their mid twenties fighting over a sickly, d**g addicted teenager…..none here is a good person and I wouldn’t expect anything more from Gertrude. I’d let him know that you find him to be a c**ep for “dating” a clearly vulnerable pregnant teenager, and that you hope the worst for him

CodeAdorable1586 −  Wow the men in your life are a bunch of predators

FighterWoman −  make sure your brother gets a paternity test.

knowlesyr85 −  They all take advantage of a vulnerable teenager. Disgusting.

bingbongsf −  You’re angry about the wrong thing here… Your brother dated and then impregnated a vulnerable, teenage, recovering addict who you say is slowly dying. Then your brother got depressed and your ex began an affair with her.

Who cares about a stupid Snapchat story that wasn’t even aimed directly at you. This poor girl is being taken advantage of at every level by men almost 10 years older than her. She is pregnant and dying and all you care about is that she is dating your ex, not because of his predatory behaviour, but because you feel jealous and have residual feelings for your ex.

ESH, you are an immature, insecure a**hole and both your brother and ex are predators. I mean, I’m not saying that it is your job to help, or save this poor girl that clearly needs some help without predatory conditions, but at you seem to be trying your best to stay involved in this whole mess of a situation.

I would get you remaining involved because of your future niece or nephew, but it seems clear that you don’t really care about that, and are only interested because of your ex’s involvement. You should stop blaming and villainising a teenager who you watched get taken advantage of in front of you for months. Edit: after writing this out, I feel like this has to be rage bait, but I already wrote it down so I’m just going to post the comment.

Aggressive_Cup8452 −  Why did you call?  Are you right to feel a certain type of way? Sure.. it’s your ex and your brothers baby mama… (read that baby mama part again).

But would they get more upset because you ignored them after their cry for attention? Yes. A thousand times yes. Just stay out of it. It’s just going to get messier. She’s 18.. apparently dying and having another man’s baby… and she’s fresh out of a halfway house. Halfway house… at 18.. NtA. But take 10 steps back and reevaluate where you want to go with this.

keishajay −  NTA but what a dumpster fire. OP, you’re well off out of it. I’d delete and block both of them. He’s your old life, give yourself an early Christmas present and move on. 

dazzlingmadelyn −  NTA, they’re being messy, she def knew what she was doing, blocking her was smart

Was the user justified in blocking Gertrude and cutting ties, or should they have handled the situation differently? How would you deal with this tangled web of relationships and boundaries? Share your thoughts below!