AITA for putting the kibosh on Sons’ n**ed vacation?

A Reddit user had planned to reward his two college-age sons with a vacation for doing well in school, but when he found out that they were planning to go to an adult-themed, clothing-optional resort in Jamaica, he decided to cancel the trip.

Despite the promise, the father drew the line at funding a vacation to a resort known for its raunchy atmosphere. Read on below for the full story and to see how the family reacted.

‘ AITA for putting the kibosh on Sons’ n**ed vacation?’

I have boys 18 and 19, who will be completing their freshman and sophomore college years in the spring. They are doing great in school, excellent grades despite both being on athletic teams and extra curriculars that are a time s**k. I’m very proud Dad for how they are doing.

As a reward for doing so well I have told them I’d pay their way for a vacation during their spring break in a few months, anywhere that they’d like to go (well, within reason. If either picked Antarctica we’d have to talk about that).

The boys wanted to go to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, apparently a whole bunch of their friends from school have the same idea and want a big fun group trip. I was all for that, and all for Jamaica. That sounds like fun (I’ve been to Jamaica years ago and had a great time).

However a combination of overhearing some details and seeing some info has me a bit unsettled. They have plans to go to a resort called — get this — **Hedonism**. I looked it up (maybe that was my mistake). Hedonism is apparently pretty raunchy, *very* “adult,” and is pretty much the Caribbean’s answer to Hefner’s Playboy Mansion.

It’s got just about everything you’d want in a resort as far as activities and such, but just about the whole place is “clothing optional” and some of the places like one of the beaches and a couple of the pools are actually REQUIRED nude. And they have things like “playrooms” and “happening huts” and one can only imagine what goes on there.

There’s theme nights like “naughty nurses” and “fetish leather and lingerie.” I gave that the hard “nope.” I want to reward them, but I’m not about to fund what sound like nothing short of an orgy. They were NOT impressed with my decision, not in the least. So am I an a**hole for backing out of funding the vacation I promised?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Zealousidea_Lemon −  NTA but you 100% should have booked it because it seems they have an idea it’s a bunch of girls and guys their age and not, in reality, a swingers resort that would likely consist of only couples that are around your age (their parents). I think it would have been a rude awakening realizing it’s not the paradise they think it was gonna be

jillian512 −  Pretty much any popular spring break location is a nearly nude-a-rama. Unless the resort is actively promoting a college age spring break event, the average age at Hedonism II is 50. Have them read some TripAdvisor reviews. 

Cultural_Section_862 −  ok so I wouldn’t have asked my parent to pay for a trip like that, meaning have them book the rooms/flights directly pay with their card. I also wouldn’t have hesitated to book that kind of trip if they had handed me $X and told me to have fun.

so I guess that’s the deciding factor for me- did you tell them you’d give them money for a trip or are you expected to book these accommodations?

bhenchodeurmomsbox1 −  If they want to party with a bunch of old n**ed dudes, I say spend the money. Expensive life lesson but it sounds like you have the cash so it could be hilarious.

Fast-Chipmunk-1558 −  As the only person who has actually been to Hedonism I will say you are not the AH, if you’re spending the money. But I would not dictate where 18 year olds go once they are spending their money. To correct the assumption that Hedonism is a big swingers orgy, it’s not .

It’s a clothing optional resort first and foremost that attracts nudists first, and people in the lifestyle second . Single/solo guys are rare at Hedo, it’s mostly couples, some solo women and few solo men.

The average age of the crowd varies depending on which groups are there, I would say when I went average age was 30 to 40, there were less “unfit” bodies. I would say most people were average and attractive, few were extremely fit/supermodel status and few were “hairy and overweight”.

It could be that when your sons are planning on going that they are organizing groups of that age group so the majority would be people their age . It wouldn’t matter what other groups are there as they could socialize mainly with their groups .

I met a gorgeous couple on honeymoon and another couple from Jamaica that were above average in looks and body. The nude pool/nude beach is where you would see more open s**ual activity but I saw full blown s** on the ” prude” clothing optional s**.

There is a playroom for couple or group s** that I never saw because swinging is not my thing, I just went for the novelty of being nude.
I wasn’t hit on by swinger’s, as in they didn’t openly solicit me for s**, I would just get compliments, there is no pressure to do anything or join in anything.

I went solo and was adopted by several groups and they made sure I was having fun, had people to hang out with if I wanted and escorted me to my room at night so I would feel safe.

I would be more worried about the availability of drugs from the guys selling on the beach than swingers recruiting anyone to join their orgy ( didn’t see any happening in public). A group of young people at Hedo would definitely have a good time 😃

Champioli −  Bet this is secretly an advert for the resort. Just one post from OP.

Alarming_Ad1746 −  I went to Hedonism for a day while on Spring Break in Jamaica back when I was in college. The nude part of the beach that I saw (I was to scared to enter) was overloaded with older, hairy and very very unfit people. It was fun for a day pass… lots of events, music and all-inclusive drinks IIRC.

TankFoster −  Upvote for “nude-a-rama” and “f**k-a-torium”.

crashfrog03 −  NTA – I think it’s reasonable for a trip funded by your parent to have some reasonable strings attached, since there’s a degree of moral sanction involved, but: I want to reward them, but I’m not about to fund what sound like nothing short of an orgy.

Look, a 18 and 19 year old can *talk* themselves up to a lot of s**t, but I know you remember what it was like to be that age and actually have to follow through. You know as well as I do that all that’s going to happen is that they hide in the room for a week, too terrified to walk around a bunch of n**ed old people.

These are two guys who probably hold a towel up in the gym’s changing room still. The first time they’re propositioned by some 60-year-old couple, they’ll pack bags and spend the rest of the trip in Kingston’s cheapest hostel. I just don’t want to pay for a nude-a-rama at the Caribbean f**k-a-torium on my dime.

Yeah, I mean, sure; but what did you think they were going to do on spring break, though? Hold hands and drink milkshakes? I get that you think there’s a difference between “spring break” and “travel to a place where you get wasted and f**k all the time” but that difference is…. what, exactly?

Agreeable-Dot-9598 −  By what I’ve seen of hedonism, they’ll be chased by old swingers. And they ain’t MILFs! Lol. If they want to go wild, send them to a European hot-spot such as Mallorca, Tenerife or Zante. Full of people their age and they can drink.

Do you think the father was right to pull the funding for his sons’ vacation, or was he overreacting to their choice of resort? How would you handle a situation like this with your own kids? Share your thoughts below!