AITA for putting parental controls on my TV and royally pissing off my FIL?
Living under one roof with in-laws can be challenging under any circumstances, but when you have young children and a strict bedtime, things can quickly spiral out of control. Our OP, a 30-year-old father, found himself in a stressful situation when his wife’s parents came to stay with them temporarily while their home is being repaired.
Initially, he hoped that the arrangement would be a short-term inconvenience, but it soon became apparent that the in-laws’ habits were interfering with his family’s well-being.
Every evening, after his father-in-law finishes his late shift, the in-laws gather in the living room, blasting YouTube videos and loud music through the home speaker system. This disrupts his children’s sleep, and they end up waking him, which makes it nearly impossible for him to get enough rest before heading off to work. Despite polite requests to lower the volume after 8:30 PM, the in-laws persist—forcing him to take drastic measures by installing parental controls on the TV.
‘ AITA for putting parental controls on my TV and royally pissing off my FIL?’
Expert Opinion
“Creating a peaceful home environment is essential for the well-being of all family members, particularly children,” explains Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship and family dynamics expert featured in Psychology Today.
In situations where in-laws or guests disrupt the household’s routine, establishing and enforcing boundaries is not only justified—it’s necessary for maintaining harmony. In this case, the OP’s decision to set up parental controls on the TV after 8:30 PM stems from the need to ensure his children get the sleep they need to function at school and in daily life.
Dr. Orbuch notes that while it’s understandable for family members to want to enjoy their time together, their behavior must be balanced against the needs of the entire household. “When someone’s actions—like playing loud music late at night—consistently disrupt the sleep of children, it creates a ripple effect of stress and fatigue,” she says. This can, in turn, affect the overall mood and productivity of the parents, especially when work schedules demand early mornings.
Furthermore, Dr. Orbuch emphasizes that boundaries are a healthy part of any living situation. “It’s not about being petty; it’s about respecting each person’s right to a peaceful environment,” she adds. The OP’s implementation of a password-protected TV, which effectively prevents his in-laws from using it during designated quiet hours, is a practical solution that protects his family’s needs.
Although his wife sided with her father initially, Dr. Orbuch advises that such family conflicts are best resolved by clear communication and mutual respect. If his in-laws continue to ignore the rules, the OP has every right to insist that they seek alternative accommodations until the repairs are complete. Ultimately, maintaining a calm and orderly household is paramount, even if it requires setting firm, non-negotiable boundaries with guests—even family members.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
The majority of Redditors strongly supported the OP’s actions, siding with his frustration over his in-laws’ noise and lack of respect for their household rules. Many emphasized that the in-laws, despite being guests, should have considered the needs of the OP’s family—especially the children’s sleep schedule.
Commenters generally felt the OP was justified in implementing the parental controls on the TV, with several suggesting that his in-laws should either comply with the house rules or seek alternative accommodations. The consensus was that family members need to prioritize respect and consideration in shared living situations. for a couple of seconds
At the end of the day, maintaining a peaceful home environment is essential, especially when children’s well-being is at stake. The OP’s experience underscores the importance of setting firm boundaries, even with family members. While it’s unfortunate that his wife and in-laws reacted negatively, his actions were necessary to protect his family’s quality of life.
What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation with disruptive in-laws? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below!