AITA for Putting My Family on a Schoolwide “Intervention Watch” List?

A 31-year-old mom finds herself clashing with her overly involved family after they overstep boundaries at her 8-year-old daughter’s new school. From swapping her lunch snacks to enrolling her in activities without permission,

their meddling caused enough stress that the mom requested the school place them on an “intervention watch list,” barring further interference. Now her family is furious, accusing her of being ungrateful and even tarnishing her reputation in the PTA. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for Putting My Family on a Schoolwide “Intervention Watch” List?’

I (31F) have a 8-year-old daughter who just started at a new school this year. She’s been adjusting well, except for one issue: my overly meddling family.
Here’s the backstory. My mom and older sister are the “ultimate PTA queens.” They volunteer for *everything* at my daughter’s school, from bake sales to lunchtime monitors.

They’ve always had opinions about how I raise my kid, but since they got access to the school, they’ve taken things to a new level. It started small—like swapping out snacks I packed in her lunch because they thought “fruit roll-ups aren’t nutritious.” Fine, annoying, but whatever.

Then it escalated: they’d show up during recess and try to “improve” her social skills by forcing her to play with kids she didn’t even like. One day, my daughter told me her grandma made her hand out *homemade motivational cards* to every classmate during recess because she thought it would make her “popular.” My daughter was mortified.

The final straw was when they pulled her out of gym class because they thought the teacher’s activities were “too aggressive for a girl” and enrolled her in a knitting club *without asking me*. My daughter was crying because she wanted to play dodgeball, but my mom told her it was “unladylike.”

So, I went straight to the principal and had a meeting. I requested that my family be placed on an “intervention watch list.” This means they’re no longer allowed to interfere with my daughter’s activities, lunches, or basically *anything* at school without explicit permission from me. The principal agreed, and I thought it was over.

Well, now my family is furious. My mom is calling me ungrateful for all the “help” she’s given, and my sister said I’m ruining my daughter’s life by not letting them “guide her properly.”

They’ve even started a smear campaign in our PTA group, claiming I’m a negligent parent who doesn’t want what’s best for my kid. So, Reddit, AITA for taking this drastic step?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

YeeHawMiMaw −  Does either have kids at the school? If not – I’d reply to them about any complaints and say any further interference and you will apply for a restraining order. Then file for it if they do.

FunBodybuilder4620 −  NTA. But if you are in the US and this is a public school, they should not be allowed on the PTA if they are staff of the school or legal guardian of a student.

lyonsroar89 −  OH MY GOD. NTA NTA NTA!!! This is one of those posts I hope isn’t real because holy boundary violation!! If anyone did these things with my children I would be looking into legal action. You did the right thing by going to the principal especially since your daughter has been distressed by multiple things they’ve done.

Please look into documenting and reporting their actions because this is extremely unacceptable. And I worry they will take it beyond a smear campaign and try to go the CPS route with false accusations.

leftytrash161 −  NTA. Why were your mother and sister in a position to have so much control over your daughter’s schooling in the first place?

LearnsFromExperience −  You don’t need a restraining order. Just tell the school you withdraw all permission for them to volunteer, and post in the PTA and family group chats to tell them if they don’t stop interfering with your parenting immediately, they’ll be removed from your daughter’s life, and anyone who agrees with them will be as well.

Time to play the same hardball they’re playing. Public humiliation and shaming is absolutely in bounds if they want to play that way. You’re fighting for your daughter’s wellbeing and sanity here, so start acting like it. No compromises.

boaby_gee −  This is b**lshit. No school would allow any of that s**t.

VeilPulse −  NTA, your daughter’s well-being comes first. Set those boundaries and protect her.

Cinemaphreak −  Kinda hard to accept this as real because it’s hard for *parents* to get access to their kids on school property, much less a grandmother and an aunt.

Most schools that I know of require a pass from the office and they bring the student to the office. So I don’t see how these two were coming regularly to the playground or getting into daughter’s lunches. Being in the PTA only gives you so much access.

Legal-Lingonberry577 −  Next up- file a restraining order. It’ll make Christmas awkward but the family going apesh\*t will be worth remembering. 😂

CelestVale −  NTA, you did what any protective parent would do. Setting boundaries is crucial.

Was the mom justified in taking such strong action to protect her daughter’s independence, or did she overreact to her family’s involvement? How would you handle meddling relatives in this situation? Share your thoughts below!