AITA for proving to my roommate that her boyfriend keeps hitting on me?

A Redditor, Sam, shares her experience with her roommate Lauren and Lauren’s boyfriend, Mark, who persistently hits on her. After multiple warnings to Lauren fell on deaf ears, Sam devised a plan to prove Mark’s inappropriate behavior—only for it to backfire spectacularly.

‘ AITA for proving to my roommate that her boyfriend keeps hitting on me?’

I’m Sam, my roommates name is Lauren, and her boyfriends name is Mark. Lauren and Mark have been dating for maybe four months. Mark always hits on me. Like always. As soon as Lauren walks away, Mark is laying it on thick with compliments, and asking when our lease is up.

I wear a lot of body-con and sometimes low cut clothing , so I expect to get glances maybe mild staring. But this guy is very obviously hitting on me, and often times in ways that make me uncomfortable, especially since he is always at our apartment.

I have told Lauren several times that Mark hits on me, and she just rolls her eyes. She doesn’t believe me, which is confusing to me. Lauren and I have been roommates for five years. In that time she has dated three other guys, and I have never complained about this before.

So yesterday she tells me that Mark is coming over. I was like, great, I told her if she would just walk upstairs in our apartment building, and tell Mark that she was going around the block, she would walk in and see him hitting on me. She actually agreed to do it to “humor” me. Mark gets to the apartment, and I am just doing the dishes, I tell him that Lauren went to the store up the block, but she is really right outside the door.

He sits at the counter and starts chatting with me normally, then the conversation turns to him hitting on me. Normally I just walk away from Mark, but I endured it so that Lauren would see/hear. She came in and told Mark to go to her room. Then she then she starts yelling at *ME*. Saying I saying I tried to seduce him and that I dressed like a s**t. And I’m like “I *always* dress like a s**t Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!”

We argued and both said some s**tty stuff to each other. She and Mark are staying in her bedroom and we haven’t spoken to each other since. As I’m thinking about it, I’m wondering if I am an a**hole for even trying to do this but at the same time I think she sucks for not believing me in the first place. I live in New York. I love my neighborhood I don’t want to have to find a new roommate because of this i**ot. If I did an a**hole thing please tell me. AITA.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

[Reddit User] −  ”I always dress like a s**t Lauren…” will probably forever be my favorite comeback. Not something you expect to read everyday. 10/10 NTA just for making me laugh.

1_Justbreakup −  NTA, if you were trying to seduce him then why would you be continually trying to tell her about it and warn her. Her anger is completely misplaced, probably because she is in denial that her boyfriend is a f**king sleazebag.

[Reddit User] −  NTA and I love your self-aware bluntness. “I always dress like a s**t Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!”

Goldwing97 −  NTA – your roommate sucks for not believing you when you first told her and Mark sucks for hitting on you when he has a girlfriend.

nixstar7 −  NTA – if you hadn’t said she’s dated other guys that this hasn’t happened with I’d hate myself for thinking this but I’d assume you were just self involved or exaggerating. As nice as it is of you to tell her, she is not secure enough to accept it and that’s unfortunate for her. You were trying to protect her and had her best interest in mind and she attacked you and tried to “s**t-shame” you? Not cool.

If you wanted to preserve your living arrangement by offering some kind of apology, I guess you could but I don’t know what it would even be for or what you could piece together.. maybe something along the lines of “sorry for trying to tell you your boyfriend doesn’t respect you and not only hits on women you don’t know, but also your own roommate”. She sounds super l**e. You are a cool friend and definitely not the a**hole.

CatKirsten −  NTA. You told her that Mark did this. She didn’t believe you. Then she agreed to set a ‘trap’ (for lack of a better word). Then when it turned out you were telling the truth she got mad at you? That’s a dickmove.

caffeinahyena −  “I *always* dress like a s**t Lauren! Who cares! Your boyfriend is hitting on me!”. NTA. Absolute favorite. You are my hero! Also doesn’t matter how you dress, especially when your intent is not to catch this guys attention. Her anger seems misdirected and unfortunately that can be the repercussions of trying to alert someone to someone else wrong doings.

I would give her space, let them cool off and then maybe the next chance you get when hes not around just say your peace. That you care and that your sorry she had to face what he was doing but that you’ve known each other for a long time and its hurtful that she didn’t believe you.

Dynastydood −  INFO: If you’re in New York, why is her boyfriend still coming over despite the repeated pleas from health care and government officials to engage in social distancing?

chaoticridiculous −  NTA – I think things were going to implode eventually anyways because you were uncomfortable and you would have continued being uncomfortable until something happened where this same scenario happened later or Lauren found out on her own. Putting it off for longer would have made it worse.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Your roommate is hurting, so give her some space. The boyfriend should be banned from your apartment.