AITA for privately asking my friend about the paternity of her children?

A Reddit user shared an incident where they privately questioned a close friend about the paternity of her triplets after noticing differing skin tones among the children. The friend reacted angrily and cut off contact, and when the user reached out to the husband suggesting a paternity test, he also blocked them.

Despite believing their concerns were valid, the user is now reflecting on whether their actions were inappropriate or if the couple overreacted. For more details and how others weighed in, read the full story below.

‘ AITA for privately asking my friend about the paternity of her children?’

Saw another post that reminded me of this situation. A few years ago, my close childhood friend gave birth to triplets. Her husband is a light black man. Of the three, two were the same skin tone as her husband, and the third was much darker. The skin tones made me a little suspicious that her husband might not be the father.

I pulled her aside privately and asked her seriously if her husband was the father. She didn’t even listen or answer rationally, she just freaked out at me and acted super insulted and kicked me out. I reached out to her husband and told him about her reaction and told him he should get a paternity test and he called me an a**hole and blocked me.

Neither has spoken to me since. I’ve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses, but they’re still married and sometimes I feel bad about what happened.

I just felt a lot of empathy for her husband because I would be devastated if I wasn’t confident that I was the father of my future children. Was I an a**hole for asking privately?

See what others had to share with OP:

Bryleigh98 −  Dude. Genetics. One of his parents likely has a darker skin tone, and that came through in the grandchild. Not uncommon, super normal. You are a FLAMING  a**hole for this. I cannot give a bigger YTA.

theycallmethevault −  YTA for contacting her husband, WTF? Are you new to life?

inevitablegirlie −  YTA. Here’s a thought – maybe they were upset at your suggestion your friend was committing a**ltery based on little to no evidence. Reminder to upvote the assholes, y’all.

bubbalooski −  YTA – aside from the question being totally inappropriate, you clearly have no idea how the genetics of skin color works, at all. You didn’t question the paternity of her children, you accused her of cheating on her husband, and used your own ignorance to support the whole thing, Edit: thank you kind anonymous user 🙂

Catsoup24 −  Wtf is wrong with you? Of course YTA. You have zero idea how genetics work, so you decided she’s a cheater? Thank god they had the common sense to cut you out of their life immediately.

MultiFazed −  YTA I’ve always thought that they dramatically over reacted and were probably hiding something because of their responses. Their responses are exactly what you’d expect from a happy, non-cheating couple dealing with an a**hole who decided to start slinging accusations of cheating based on said a**hole’s inadequate understanding of how genetics works.

Was I an a**hole for asking privately? Do you seriously have to ask if you were an a**hole for privately *accusing your friend of cheating on her husband*? This has to be a troll post, because I can’t imagine anyone is actually this clueless.

toneils −  YTA for doubling down on your “hunch” instead of backing off and apologizing.

The_Fractionator −  YTA. You clearly have no idea how black people work. Our complexions vary and sometimes even in a group of siblings we can have varying complexions. There are just so many things wrong here

Consirius −  YTA That question is never appropriate, even with your closest friends. It doesn’t matter who the biological father is. Those are their kids, and it’s best to just assume that the husband is the biological father unless you’re told otherwise.