AITA for prioritizing my son’s dog over my wife’s pregnancy?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma about prioritizing their son’s emotional bond with his dog over their wife’s concerns during her pregnancy. While their wife has been anxious about the dog possibly jumping on her, the Redditor is firm about keeping the dog due to the deep attachment their son has formed with it.

This has led to a tense situation, with the wife feeling that the dog is a threat to her pregnancy and health. The Reddit user feels torn between supporting his wife and not breaking his son’s heart. Read the original story below to find out how this family conflict unfolded.

‘ AITA for prioritizing my son’s dog over my wife’s pregnancy?’

When my son (14) was eight, we got a dog. He’s half Great Dane and half some dog my friend’s dog met during an unauthorized absence. My son loves this dog and does all the care for him (except vet stuff) and is a very responsible dog owner. This dog is pretty much his best friend.

My wife is 12 weeks pregnant, and ever since we confirmed the pregnancy she has been acting weird around the dog. She avoids him, puts her hands over her stomach when he is around and jolts whenever he makes noise.

Today she told me she wants to re-home the dog. I asked her what she was talking about. She said she has been having anxiety that he will jump on her. This is completely unreasonable. He doesn’t jump on people.

We trained him not to jump on people or run into people very young because he is half Great Dane and I felt this was important for all dogs, but especially one who could possibly grow to such a large size (which he did).

There is no reason for her to think the dog will jump on her. She said that there is no way to know for sure that the dog won’t jump on her, and if he does our baby could be hurt. This dog has never so much as growled at her.

She said even if the dog doesn’t jump on her, her anxiety about it is bad for her health. She said she needs the dog elsewhere for her safety and the baby’s. I told her that there was no way. My son got this dog right after he lost his mom and imprinted on him hard. Sometimes I think he loves the dog more than me! I’m not taking his dog. The dog didn’t do anything!

My wife said I am prioritizing the dog over her pregnancy. The dog isn’t a threat to her pregnancy. If this were any other unreasonable request, I would just do it because she is pregnant. I just can’t break my son’s heart over a fear she has that makes no sense. Am I being an a**hole?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

papa_pockets −  I would micro chip the dog, if you haven’t already. Make sure info is up to date, and see if she will seek counseling/compromise. Your kid needs his dog. NTA.Edit: jeez thanks for the awards y’all

MistressLiliana −  NTA. Animals are lifetime responsibilities. Pawning them off because she got pregnant would be a s**tty thing to do.

TeeKaye28 −  NTA. And make sure the dog is microchipped. Just in case the dog “gets out, accidentally”

Due-Cause6095 −  NTA. Don’t you dare give away you son’s dog. He didn’t ask for you to remarry and have a new child. Your son will never forgive you, or your new wife, if you allow her to continue to push this topic. She needs to actively work on coping with her anxiety. May I suggest therapy?

irate_anatid −  NTA, but your title is wrong. You’re prioritizing your son over your pregnant wife’s irrational fear. I think it might smooth things over if you’re open to considering *reasonable* measures to allay her fears, though.

kykiwibear −  nta. If you gave away my dog for that, I’d never forgive you. She is being dramatic. You’re in for a very long pregnancy.

vortexofchaos −  Congratulations on the new child! Long, long ago, my now-ex and I had two 70 pound Labrador Retrievers who believed they were lap dogs. They knew something was up and were even more protective of my ex at the time — they knew somehow that she was pregnant. They stayed out of her lap. They guarded her.

When my daughter was born, they were dedicated protectors. One was always close to the bassinet. The other was the scout, investigating any sound, prepared to protect that child. They were the same way when my son was born.

Fast forward many years. I’m divorced. Our beautiful, wonderful dogs have long passed. My disabled adult son still lives with me. We now have two cats, because one of them very clearly *chose* him as his person. That cat is *key* to my son’s wellbeing. Separating them would be a disaster for both of them.

You *can’t* give that dog away. Your son *needs* him (and vice versa). Unless your wife has some hostile relationship with the dog, this seems like a very natural, very understandable, very strong, but possibly irrational reaction, to fears about this pregnancy.

You don’t mention your age or hers, but, given your son’s age, this might feel like her last chance at having another child. All of these factors generate powerful feelings that can’t be denied.

If you give that dog away, your son will (rightly) resent you, your wife, and the new child.
This is going to be messy, but you are NTA for standing up for your son and his dog. I hope you find a good solution.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Assuming what you’ve said is true and the dog doesn’t jump on people. Is she also going to quit driving? Quit walking up stairs? Or walking at all? Or leaving the house at all?

Being alive at all is an inherent risk, and all sorts of mundane things are also a potential risk. (I’m a woman. I’ve had a kid). If her anxiety is that bad, she should look into ways for her to manage it.

Disgraced_Pickle −  NAH
Something is causing her anxiety and that should be addressed, carefully and with compassion. It would be extremely traumatic for your son to loose his dog at the same time his Dad has a new baby. She is going to have to have some compassion for him with this and you will need to protect him.

Independent-Self8210 −  NTA. That dog is family. You’re not prioritizing anything, you’re just being reasonable. If you give that dog up your son will hate you, and rightfully so.

Do you think the Reddit user was right to prioritize the dog’s place in the family, given the strong bond between the dog and their son? Or was the wife’s fear of the dog’s potential impact on her pregnancy a valid concern? How would you navigate balancing these family dynamics? Share your thoughts and comments below, we’d love to hear from you!