AITA for pressing charges?
A Redditor shared a heated family conflict after her cousin vandalized her car when denied permission to borrow it for a birthday road trip. Despite facing pressure from relatives to let it slide, the user decided to press charges, which left her family furious. Was this a justified reaction, or was the situation mishandled? Read the full story below to decide.
‘ AITA for pressing charges?’
My cousin turned 18 recently. She’s in high school. She doesn’t have a car, and during her birthday weekend, thought her parents were going to buy her one. They didn’t get her one and she was pretty upset.
I should note that I’m not very close with my cousin. Or the rest of my extended family for that matter. I only heard about this through the grapevine from my dad. Anyway My cousin texts me on the Friday before her birthday asking if she can take my car (I just leased a new Ford escape) to the mall and then for an out of town road trip with her friends over the weekend. I tell her no.
She begs and pleads with me. I tell her no again. My car is for me to drive and for me only. If she wants her own car she can save up and buy one. She calls me a b**ch and says that I ruined her birthday and that she’s embarrassed because her friends think she got a car for her birthday and she doesn’t have one. I don’t respond to her and think nothing of it.
The weekend comes and I sleep in very late on that Saturday, waking up at 1:00 pm (don’t judge lol). Even though my car is parked in my driveway and my gate is closed, I come to realize that someone egged and TP’d my car. With many, many eggs and 5-6 rolls of TP. And since the weather was warm outside, the raw egg baked into my car, along with the dried up toilet paper, destroying the paint.
Since I have security cameras around my house, I decide to go back and watch. At around nine thirtyish that morning, I see my cousin and a bunch of her stupid friends vandalizing my car. I’m surprise she didn’t smash the windows and poke holes in the tires too.
To save my post from the 3000 character limit, I obviously pressed charges and my cousin is in legal trouble. Her and her parents are pissed off at me for pressing charges,
her parents telling me that she’s “just a kid” and that she’s been through a lot of ‘emotional stress’ doing virtual schooling for this past year and that I should take that into consideration, and that I should be ashamed of myself for pressing legal charges against my baby cousin,
that I’m almost 30 and dont I remember what I was like at that age? (I do remember, and I wasn’t stupid enough to egg anyone’s car) and can’t she work something out with me like doing chores around my house for money if I drop the charges…
that she’s young, that she doesn’t need a felony on her record, etc. and that it was just a prank. Right after I press charges, my cousin was calling and texting me over and over saying that this could’ve been avoided had I let her take my car.
Am I the a**hole in this situation? I need to add that my cousin already has a felony on her record, a DUI. She’s not remorseful of anything. Also, my aunt and uncle will not pay me for the damages. They just want me to drop the charges and pay for everything myself like nothing happened. They are cheap.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
pennywhistlesmoonpie − NTA. Sure, you could have spoken with them first before pressing charges, but that last sentence was very telling. That she would text you and basically retroactively threaten you to let her take the car or she’d vandalize it says a lot about her character, and she’d probably have charges pressed against her at some point in the future anyway.
Hopefully she learns a lesson to avoid that happening again. Also, chores around the house to make up for it? It’s called community service ordered by the judge.
[Reddit User] − NTA please update us as well, I wanna hear her suffering the consequences of her actions.
bethsophia − NTA. I was “just a kid” once and didn’t egg anything. Also, ruined paint on a vehicle isn’t something one works off with chores. It’s something one gets a job and pays for with money.
SomethingClever70 − NTA. Your cousin is a gaping a**hole for blaming you, and her parents are assholes for enabling her BS. Press charges and make her pay for the damage.
LunaPick − NTA she’s 18 and is an adult. If she’s going to act like that she can deal with the consequences.
pepper_amore − She lied to her friends, refused to accept no for an answer, trespassed and committed vandalism and property damage…..and YOU are the a**hole??….. I’m trying desperately to understand that leap….. anyone else??
all-i-live-for − NTA. She’s not “just a kid”. She’s old enough to understand action = consequences.
DaiZzedandConFuZed − NTA. She decided to do something criminal because you said “no” and her parents are trying to enable her. Her excuse is… well if you didn’t say no I wouldn’t have done it? No. You are not to blame for this.
HowardProject − NTA – and the fact that she’s *BLAMING YOU* because you refused to lend her the car says that her parents have been running interference for her entitled behavior for too long. She’s 18, she’s a legal adult – play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
BandicootBroad2250 − NTA. And with how enabling her parents are, I am genuinely surprised they didn’t get her a car.
Do you think the Redditor was right to press charges given the severity of the vandalism and her cousin’s history, or should she have handled it privately to avoid family conflict? How would you respond if a family member caused significant damage to your property? Share your thoughts below!