AITA for pointing at the kitchen when MIL asked “where is our dinner?”.

A Redditor is overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for her seriously injured husband while also dealing with housework and stress. When her MIL demanded dinner after sitting around for hours, she pointed to the kitchen, suggesting MIL help herself.

MIL reacted harshly, claiming the Redditor was ungrateful and should be taking better care of the household. Tensions escalated, and the MIL left after a heated argument. The Redditor wonders if she was wrong for how she handled the situation. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for pointing at the kitchen when MIL asked “where is our dinner?”.’

My husband had a serious injury weeks ago. He’s bed ridden and his family come to see him everyday. MIL keeps “drilling” what I need to do to make my husband comfortable but does nothing to help. Just visits everyday and sits around expecting to be fed and entertained. Sometimes BIL, his wife & kids join them and turn the house into a mess.

Yesterday MIL, her husband and son came again. They checked on my husband then went to sit in the living room for hours. I served them coffee and croissant. Hours later my husband threw up again (2nd time) I had to take care of changing his clothes and cleaning the sheets to avoid infections.

I was exhausted, I came downstairs and MIL looked at me and asked ” hey where’s our dinner?”. I was shocked that after seeing me go up and downstairs many times and cleaning and bringing new sheets and running the washing machine that she’d expect me to prepare dinner. I’d already eaten a sandwich at 6 and yogurt ( I have problems with my stomach and stress and pregnancy made it worse, I’m 4 months in)

I pointed at the kitchen and told her to help herself out. She gave me a look then said she didn’t expect me to ask *her* to cook dinner at *my* house. I said I didn’t expect her to ask ME to cook dinner while I’m taking care of her son. She started arguing about the way I spoke about my husband saying as his partner, *this is the least I could do* and called me unhinged for throwing in her face that I’m helping my husband.

She got her husband involved asking what his thoughts were on me making guests go hungry and forcing them to cook themselves when this supposed to be my duty as a host/home owner.

FIL said they could order food and call it a day and yelled at my younger BIL to stop playing on his phone and order food but MIL got mad and lashed out criticizing me saying I wasn’t up to the challenge of taking care of my home and my guests like an adult. I lost it on her and told them to leave since she kept yelling disrupting my husband’s sleep.

She left after saying she felt sorry for her son and grandbaby with an “aggressive wife and a mother like me”. She told everyone and my older BIL said he understood I’d a lot on my plate but lectured me about how I should have respect for his mom who was a guest. Repeatedly saying if that was his wife she wouldn’t have acted this way. And that I shouldn’t use taking care of my husband against them. He asked me to apologize but I didn’t.

Info: My husband suffers from 2 major injuries and he’s got a long recovery ahead. Right now there’s so much pressure to take care of him while keeping up with house chores and work. My mom and sister help but not MIL. She claimed that when I told them to leave I was refusing to let her see her sick son but I’d never do that. I lost a loved one before seeing them so I understand her fear but BIL thought that was my goal.

EDIT: I live in the states, in the south.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Don’t let them in anymore. Or give them strict visiting hours and kick them out when they’re done. They are real AHs for sitting on their arses all day at your house expecting to be waited on. Their dinner wasn’t in the kitchen at your house, it was in the kitchen at their house! It’s not your responsibility to feed unwanted and unhelpful guests.

thekelsey21 −  No, NTA. She’s the A. This isn’t the 1950s anymore, gender roles are not the same. Seems like your hubby’s family has yet to catch up but that’s not on you. I’m curious if your husband would have put his foot down if they dared said that in front of him. But good on you for sticking up for yourself

Workhardgymharder −  Your MIL isn’t a guest. A guest is invited and welcome. She is a mooch. You are NTA. You’ve been putting up with this for weeks, you are a saint for not snapping sooner. Don’t let them into your house anymore and definitely don’t apologise. I hope your husband recovers soon and your pregnancy goes well.

Ikaryas −  NTA. They might be guests but I feel that they’re unwelcome ones. Just kick to the curb. You have enough on your plate and you’re pregnant too? Boot them and save yourself at least that headache

DaniCapsFan −  Are your in-laws coming over to help you care for your husband, or are they coming over to “see” him and therefore make life more difficult for everyone? Because it seems like it’s the latter. And if they are coming over to “help,” they would either be helping you clean up the house or at least providing meals.

Do your in-laws not like you, by chance? They’re treating you pretty shabbily. Either you or your husband needs to put your foot down with your in-laws and let them know that if they’re just coming over expecting to be entertained and catered to, they can go somewhere else. You’re dealing with a bedridden husband and a pregnancy and don’t need any more stress in your life.. NTA

uhhhhwhat22 −  So….why do you let them come in if they just sit around not even helping….?

[Reddit User] −  You’re pregnant AS WELL AS dealing with this? Nta and I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you considered a canon to shoot the MIL into space for that audacity there? Or rabid hamsters, maybe dome rabid hamsters would work…

JemimaAslana −  NTA. You didn’t invite them, so they’re not your guests. They’re entitled intruders and they can be respectful of you in YOUR home or they can leave. You owe them nothing and certainly no apologies.

If BIL insists his wife would wait on everyone, hand and foot, let him know he should be sure to tell his future wife of such expectations, lest he end up harshly disappointed with his 21st century partner.

Chili_dawg2112 −  NTA. Wow, passive aggressive bitchery at its finest. Tell them they are no longer welcome in YOUR home until they apologize.. Turn it around back on them. Your husband doesn’t need the stress that they are creating.

Kris82868 −  NTA. You don’t impose on folks with too much on their plate. You help out or get out of the way at least so as to not add to the things they have to take on.

Was the Redditor in the wrong for pointing out the kitchen, or was she justified given the circumstances? How would you handle a situation like this with demanding guests while caring for a loved one? Share your thoughts in the comments!